Second attempt failed, need to talk to someone

[vivianjuly]

I am 41 and started my second Ivf last month. My first treatment was 7 years ago with my previous partner, that time was his problem. But it didn't successe as i had heavy bleeding just after 8 days of implant.
This time me and my boyfriend decided to have a private IVF because I am concerned my age. Even doc told me the chance is not high for me. I had 7 eggs and 4 fertilized, but only had 2 progressed to the implant stage. But today is only day 11, I started bleeding just like last time. I am devastated that even can't go through 2 weeks waiting stage.
I am thinking about to have another go, but have a lot pressure on both financial and emotional side.

[AliceAbsolum]

People bleed and get bfps. Hard though when it seems so unlikely. When's your otd?

Have you considered donor eggs?

[vivianjuly]

Thanks Alice，my OTD is 26th, but had a negative test this morning. From my previous experience, I know it's failed. Haven't thought about Donor eggs, my worries is more about bedding.

[AvaMercy]

So sorry vivian. I had my first cycle fail in September and I’ve been devastated. I knew it’d failed from around a week in. You could maybe try testing again tomorrow or maybe the day after just to be sure though. The two week wait is the absolute worst. Sorry you’re going through this

[vivianjuly]

Thanks, Ava. We all know how hard it is. Especially my BF is living 6 driving hours away from me. I am feeling a bit isolated.

[AvaMercy]

Ah, that’s crap. Try to treat yourself with nice things. Even if it’s just cake or some really nice takeaways for dinner. This is definitely be kind to yourself time.

[vivianjuly]

Still on a low mood today, and my period pain doesn't help either.

[1moreRep]

hi i've no experience of infertility myself but i have friends who experience it. There's a podcast called the big fat negative which is brilliant x

[vivianjuly]

Thanks @1moreRep I will go to check the website

[1moreRep]

it's a whole community like mumsnet, of people who struggle and allies.

[vivianjuly]

It's day 2 of my period and day 12 of transplant. I thought I should stopping the medicine, but my clinic told me to carry on until Saturday.
It's a not easy journey, took a day off work today. Nobody knows I am doing IVF in my office, so nobody can talk. Plus BF lives far away, we only see each other every other weeks.

[vivianjuly]

@1moreRep yes, it's really nice you can see other's stories or experiences. Not like now sitting at home feeling helpless.

[AvaMercy]

The meds won’t be helping your mood I’m sure. Once you’re able to stop them on Saturday I think you’ll start to feel better. Good on you for treating yourself to a day off work. Definitely deserved

[Quail15]

My first 2 rounds of IVF ended like this. I was so upset and angry that I couldn't even make it to the test date. I really hope you are experiencing heavy implementation bleeding but I know how you are feeling.

I changed clinics after my 2 failed rounds and my 3rd Ivf was successful. Don't give up hope. Do look after yourself at the moment. Sending you a big hug x

[vivianjuly]

@Quail15 thanks I am thinking to move to live with my partner in Glasgow and have IVF there.