So I'm nearly 2 years ttc and I'm finding it hard to have any hope. Mine and my partner's test results came back as totally normal, so the consultant stuck me on chlomid for 3 months just to see what happens.
The issue I have is that all I keep getting told is 'just RELAX and it will happen!'. It takes every bit of willpower not to punch these patronising b*stars. It doesn't seem to occur to them that I wasn't stressed for a good while into this nightmare, and there are plenty of examples of stressed women conceiving.
As there is nothing physically wrong with me or DP, my assumption now is that I have some sort of mental block that means that children are never going to happen for me. I'm currently having therapy to deal with a childhood that involved neglect and has left me struggling to feel and process emotions. Maybe the universe just thinks I'm not fit to be a mother? I feel so bad for DP, he would be a brilliant dad but if he stats with me he's not going to get the chance.
Does anyone have any advice on how to keep a positive mindset through this mess? I feel like hopelessness is my only defence against the constant disappointment.
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Infertility
I feel like this is all my fault
12 replies
laallass · 17/10/2019 22:55
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