after first cycle, anyone feel like they climbed everest and need a rest?

[Maggie272]

...just asking. I feel wrecked, especially after the pill, the buserelin, and the progesterone I had to keep taking until our lovely positive line and truly disappeared. A teeny tiny bit self pitying...mostly for my poor body. I do yoga and now find it hard to do any balance poses, which tells me I am out of balance...duh xxx

[hoping2018]

I’m so sorry you had a chemical pregnancy - I can’t imagine the emotional rollercoaster that must be. Ivf alone Is absolutely exhausting, never mind the bfp too! I had two weeks off work (sick leave) with both my rounds of ivf. Look after yourself xx

[Maggie272]

@hoping2018 thank you love xxx

[Eggcellent29]

I was exhausted! Our first cycle ended in a missed miscarriage and I have never felt more wiped out in my life.

Be kind to yourself. Do things you like doing, sack off the things you don’t. Rest lots! I slept for hours and hours - I needed to just recharge.

I’m so sorry to hear about your chemical pregnancy, it’s not fair.

Just do you for a bit. Don’t be afraid to be selfish ❤️

[Maggie272]

Dear @Eggcellent29
thank you so much for your reply. Have you gone for a second go since? My period has come ten days early today, so I feel a bit rushed to make up my mind. Had a bit of a wobble this week and my doc gave me xanax for panic attacks! I'm convinced it was due to holding it together while on the pill and buserelin....I found them so hard.
Hope you are well and still looking after yourself as much as you can xxxx

[mouse1234567]

Hey @Maggie272 sorry to hear about your chemical. I had a similar experience after my first round. Just had my second IVF and in the middle of another miscarriage. Finding it hard to be positive and def like you just want to rest. This journey is soooo challenging. Take time for yourself.

[Maggie272]

@mouse1234567
Most of the time now I wouldn't mind just being grateful for what I have, what I will do without kids, and moving on, saying I gave it my best try.

I am so sorry you are going through this again. Please look after yourself, give yourself whatever you need and know that it will all be ok, no matter what happens. xxx

[FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF]

@maggie272 yes I do!! Sorry about your chemical! First fet resulted in bfp but wasn’t meant to be so we went straight on to another fet as soon as we could and that was just a bfn! Now that all the focus has stopped as we are taking a break I feel completely broken!

[Maggie272]

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF
I hope you are feeling a bit better? It's hard, but...it will be ok no matter what happens. I know it's easy to say it, but the more you say it the more you believe it, and it just will work out, one way or another. Did you have another embryo? I can understand not wanting to go through another cycle. I won't be doing a second one xx

[Eggcellent29]

@Maggie272

Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply to you! Yes, I had my FET and am currently 22 weeks pregnant

Based on my experience, if you feel rushed then take all the time you need. I took two cycles off in between - one month to do whatever I wanted (which involves drinking A LOT of wine) and one month to get ready (ie not drink so much wine) and then I felt ready to go. But it is different for everyone! My clinic offered to let me go again after one cycle, but it wasn’t right for me.

One mistake I did make was rushing back to work after my first cycle - I found it exhausting and I had regular break downs in the loo. Totally not worth it in hindsight.

I hope you are doing well and the panic attacks have subsided?

[Maggie272]

@Eggcellent29 that is wonderful!!!!! Oh my goodness. When you were going through it all, did you feel like it would never happen? that you couldn't imagine being pregnant? I feel like that.

Yes, panic has subsided. I'm a pretty happy person - I don't feel bad at all now, it's just the thought of going through the FET, looking up at Everest again! At the moment a life without a baby doesn't seem so bad, and I'm constantly having second thoughts.... anyhoo, I'm always sure that no matter what happens I'll be having a happy life...

[FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF]

@maggie272 sorry it took so long to reply! It is so so hard have been feeling really down about it and feeling awful about myself! I think it was har for us because we had 4 in the freezer 2 day 3 which we thawed to see if they made it to day 5! One didn’t survive the thaw then the 2nd one we got the call on the day of transfer to say it had collapsed so a 3rd one had to be thawed which resulted in a bfn so I have one left!! Which is not too grade!! How are you feeling about it all?

[FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF]

We weren’t going to do another one for 17 months as have a few things going on net year but will prob look to transfer the last one in jan/Feb if it works we can cancel the other things if it doesn’t not sure about an other round! How many do you have frozen? X

[Maggie272]

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF Oh gosh, that is very hard. I hope you are ok...The only thing to do is to go through it. And find gratitude for what is there in front of us already.
I am ok - 2 chemicals, one with IUI and one with first round of IVF. Have two embryos in the freezer. To be honest...we've invested quite a bit financially in the whole thing...but I can't invest emotionally or even mentally too much. The meds took it out of me, I was disappointed after the chemical with IVF...you enter another world when you get the positive line...even if you didn't have your hopes up before, it's hard not to when you get that positive. When I started bleeding...part of me thought, well, thank god it didn't happen at 8 or 12 weeks, and no one knew. I put on my yoga clothes and went upside down for a while!
I'm fine. The place I'm coming from - my husband had a serious infection in his brain in 2013, he nearly died. While we were delighted that he survived...the next two years were hell. My husband called me mum for two years, ironically! Now he is much better. I'm grateful for my life, that I have him. There were days in ICU that the pain was so bad I thought my chest would rip open from heartbreak. I can't imagine being in that much pain again, and I just can't put all my eggs in the IVF basket, excuse the pun : )
Sorry, that is a long winded way of saying...whatever happens, you will be fine. You are stronger than you think. If you need to take time out, I say go for it. xxxx

[Mookie81]

Physically I was fine, emotionally it was awful.
Its been 2 years and only just ready to have another go, next Easter.

[FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF]

@maggie272 omg there I am moaning and you have been through so much with your dh! I know what you are saying about least it wasn’t at 8 or 12 weeks! I do have a dd from previous relationship I think I find it so hard because dh wants one of his own I know he loves my dd like his own I just know what it would mean to him to have one!

[Maggie272]

@Mookie81 for me it was a little of both , but the emotional was def brought on by the hormones - it was a rollercoaster!
@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF you have nothing to apologise for at all! Life just throws things at you. I used to pray that if my husband woke from his coma I would never take him for granted again...that lasted about 5 minutes! So - it's all relative. You're under pressure too, and women want to care and nurture, and it sounds like you are being amazing for your DH xxx