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Feeling Low today

(6 Posts)
thefishthatcouldwish Sat 12-Oct-19 07:24:49

I have an appointment Tuesday to get ball rolling for IVF. The appointment was cancelled and was in September.

We have had all tests and the only option for us is IVF with sperm donation.

I am now 4 kilo over the maximum weight😐. I feel absolutely awful as I know it’s self inflicted. I got in a pickle over knowing the appointment is coming up which has led to a lot of overeating.

I hate the consultant I am under as last appointment he wiped the floor with me and went on and on and on about my weight. Saying that I was so big and that I was putting my health in jeopardy and the giving myself no chance of every being pregnant. I was at the time 10 kilo over what I should have been. Which is a lot but there is a way to say it.

This was straight after all the results which showed DH had zero sperm. We were in bits and trying to process this. Then he talked and talked about my weight loss.

I know I need counselling and will book to see gp next week.

I now have to cancel the appointment on Tuesday which puts us back again I’m such a failure.

kellyw1989 Sat 12-Oct-19 07:52:15

Your not a failure atall Hun please don’t ever think that , life throws challenges and your weight loss to date is amazing so well done. what is your main stress ?

thefishthatcouldwish Sat 12-Oct-19 07:59:52

I’m just worried to death about seeing the consultant. He has no social skills.

I worry too about the whole ivf it scares me so much. I worry I won’t cope if it didn’t work.

LolaJade88 Sat 12-Oct-19 08:25:34

Hi,
I’ve only read these boards and never posted but I saw your post and had to create an account specifically to reply to you as your message hit close to home.
I had a lot more than you to lose to get my bmi low enough for treatment. We had our first appointment last November and I had finally lost enough weight to start treatment in August. I know you’ve had to push your appointment back and that can seem like you’ve failed target but maybe you just set yourself an unreachable goal, losing weight takes time and it’s a lot more difficult than people eh ink it is. Especially with a lifetime of bad habits, believe me. You’ve done so well and you’re not a failure at all! You should be proud of yourself for being able to make changes for your future.
As for your consultant, is there anyway you could ask to see someone else? There are three doctors at our clinic and one was much like the one you’ve described. So we have since seen another who is completely different and supportive.
Anyway, the main point of this was to say that you are well on your way, try not to get disheartened. And if your consultant carries on being rude just try and remember what you’ve already accomplished! It’s more than you seem to be giving yourself credit for!

thefishthatcouldwish Sat 12-Oct-19 14:39:49

Thanks for all the support.

I’ve signed up to CBT online which is what is offered in my area.

I just have to ring and cancel the appointment now.

2fingers22018 Sun 13-Oct-19 07:58:57

@thefishthatcouldwish im sorry your consultant was soo bloody heartless hun i agree with @LolaJade88 ask to see someone else and put in an official complaint about him he has a duty of care to tell ppl they need to lose weight but theres a way to do it as u said. I also gained weight when i was on the waiting list im lucky that my bmi was still under..but its a stressful time some of these docs really make my blood boil id call him out and say oh so your a saint are you? No ones perfect in life most ppl will have a drink or smoke or sunbathe without suncream or do something they shouldnt sounds like he needs his ego deflated!

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