Failed cycle

[Hennysmommy]

BFN test this morning. 2 very low grade 4 day embryos didnt make it. Nothing left in the freezer. I haven't been able to get out of bed all day and haven't eaten, drank, washed. I'm so depressed. It feels like it's all over as going to find money for IVF again. I wanted those babies so much. I had massive pains on sat,sun,mon ,Tues last week so something must have gone wrong then. I've cried all day. Don't know how I will get over this.

[Macarena1980]

I feel for you this process is so hard. Have just gone threw a failed cycle too trying for our second. Think you just need to be kind to your self, take some time and trust that you will feel better with time. We’re all different but my husband and I have started thinking about adoption as a more long term plan. This has given me hope. Hope you feel better soon. Xx

[mypuddin]

So sorry OP. It IS hard. And it's really really shit. I've been in that place and it's just shit and bleak. Be kind to yourself. Grieve. Grieve for that child you wanted to happen. Getting through it is a process but you will get there xx

[Hennysmommy]

@Macarena1980 and @mypuddin thank you. I'm not feeling much better today.

[AliceAbsolum]

So so tough. I made crappy embryos so we opted for donor eggs (actually doing a tandem cycle to give mine one last go). We're guaranteed 13 mature eggs and being abroad it's so much more affordable. Are you cycling in the UK?

[Hennysmommy]

Yes in the UK. Will have to find the money to start all over again now. No more frosties left so long protocol IVF again. Dunno how we gonna find the money or how much it will cost. Not thought of donor eggs will have to look into it. Ive had 3 cycles over 8 years. 8 years ago I had my egg collection and 30 was collected and fertilised, only one resulted in a live birth so very shit results really. Everytime they defrosted a batch they fragmented and stopped developing.

[mypuddin]

I really do empathise OP. We've TTC for 9 years, had multiple MC and have now accepted that we won't be having children. It is a long painful road but I promise you'll feel better one day. The sadness is in the background but you will gradually learn to move on if it's not meant to be. TTC completely consumed my life and relationship for almost a decade. I had to put it behind me in the end for my own sanity. Like I said, it's really really shit, but be kind to yourself and you will come through it xx

[Hennysmommy]

So sorry to hear that @mypuddin. Sending you hugs. It's a terrible sence of loss. I have self pitted, grieved, got angry and cried all weekend. Even the fertility nurse cried when we spoke yesterday. We all wanted at least 2 or 3 children from the batch. A lovely friend of mine today told me today to get my shit together, that I should be grateful I have one dunno how I feel about that.

[Macarena1980]

Hey, like the others have said your allowed to take time to grieve. To be honest at first I told myself I was okay, as we told ourselves we were lucky to have one. But think I’m finding it harder to except now 2 months later and having my tearful days, maybe cause I didn’t take that time to admit how disappointed I was. Don’t be to hard on yourself. Xx