Biting my tongue(4 Posts)
Just hiding out in my old bedroom at my parents. Stuck here for a few days as our car broke down and has to be fixed before we can leave. This summer I had a MMC following IVF following 5 years of TTC and unexplained secondary infertility. To say this has not been a great summer is somewhat of an understatement but it was bank hols and we had a nice day. Then in the evening my mum decided to tell me that as I was a mum it was a real shame that I wasn’t supporting my sister at the moment (she has a 9month old and is absolutely fine) and that my sister was missing out because I wasn’t talking babies with her. I tried to explain that I haven’t been able to do baby talk recently as it’s just too soon - have supported my sister all through her pregnancy and early months even though i was crying inside - but my mum still said it was a shame and I should support her. I’ve had one text from my sister this summer. So I’m sat in my room trying not to cry or get angry at my mum. She didn’t ask how I was. It’s so hard and I know the world goes on and I’m sure soon I will talk to my sister again but just feel like everyone just expects me to be okay now - it’s been 2 weeks. Not really after advice just needed a safe place to rant and say it’s unfair - I think it’s quite cathartic to write it down!
I’m sorry to hear that. Some people are so insensitive. I understand why it’s difficult to be around her sister and her baby. Maybe she is struggling herself and your mum is struggling to support her. Even if that’s the case - you aren’t the person to plug that gap!!
That sounds awful!
Sometimes, people don’t think about the impact of what they are saying. They may or not mean it horribly. It’s so so hard.
One family member of mine kicked up a fuss because I didn’t want to attend a big family fun day after my MMC and said that just because I was apparently barren didn’t mean I could avoid children the rest of my life and needed to grow up! So you are not alone!
Could you maybe try and spend some time away from the house? Even if it’s jist lots of walks - I find that helps me to calm down!
Perhaps, when things have calmed down; you could speak to her about how that made you feel?
Hope you’re feeling a bit better now x
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