5dp6dt FET... driving myself mad. Any hope?

[LouLouB1987]

Stupid stupid can't wait to POAS. Of course it was BFN

Had dull cramps on and off since transfer. Boob ache (not had this at all since starting IVF in March). Just generally feeling rubbish with very slight and infrequent nausea.

Anyone have BFN's this early on that went on to become BFP's???

And I know I've been stupid to test so early!! OTD is 24/8

[sunshinesandwaves]

Hi lovely
Just wanted to wish you luck, having done IVF a number of times I know how difficult the two week wait is.
And yes you are very early to test and lots of women don't have a BFP until much later on.
Give it a couple of days (easier said than done I know!) and retest then.
Good luck xxxx

[LouLouB1987]

Thank you @sunshinesandwaves

Our first fresh ended in MC at 5 weeks and this is our only frostie so I guess I was pinning a lot on it (maybe too much).

In a way the BFN might help me hold off until OTD. Horrible to see aren't they!

Thank you again for just responding xx

[Jojo19834]

I’ve just done the same as you, but 7dp5dt and got a BFN. Kicking myself I didn’t wait but really didn’t want to do in the morning before trotting off to work. Wish I had waited as this has gained me nothing as just too early!

[LouLouB1987]

Ah @Jojo19834 it's bloody shit isn't it!!

I somehow managed to wait until 8dp5dt last time so why I've gone this early this time I do not know!

It's like I can hear the tests calling. When is your official test date?

[SLR1982]

I did the same. Tested every day from 5dp6dt..got a negative until 8dp6dt. I used first response on day 7 - negative, day 8 - positive. Didn't quite believe it until I had beta 2 days later which came back 210....so it does take a while for HCG to get into our urine! Stay positive!
Sadly I've just miscarried at 5+3. Back to the beginning again x

[LouLouB1987]

@SLR1982 so so sorry for your loss. I was pretty much the same, think it was 5+2.

Hang in there. The only think I took from it was at least I CAN get pregnant and sometimes it's the body's way of dealing with an issue? Little comfort at the time I know.

I'm reeeeally gonna try and hold off a few days... (easy to say now!!!) xx

[SLR1982]

Thanks @LouLouB1987
It was a donor IVF round for me. I've a nasty autoimmune issue that's ravaged my ovaries and eggs. The donor round really didn't go at all well with the blastocysts they transferred the only one from 11 mature eggs (10 fertilised). I don't know what went wrong. The embryologist said she thought it was more likely an issue with the eggs (donor didn't follow protocol properly or has underlying undiagnosed fertility issue herself).
There was delayed development so it didn't reach blastocyst stage until day 6.....none of the other 9 made it.
My main worry now is whether the problem is more likely to be me and my autoimmune issues (which we treated with steroids this round so I don't know how much further we can go) or potentially the blastocysts being the issue, despite being a 4BB.x

[LouLouB1987]

Aww @SLR1982 that's a lot of different elements going on for you. Do you mind if I ask how many transfers you've had?

I can only hope that you find a way to your miracle and are in good hands. You're strong for even getting this far!

Xx

[SLR1982]

Hi @LouLouB1987
I had two attempted rounds of IVF myself. Struggled to down regulate initially due to ovarian cyst..so abandoned the cycle.
Second round I had three good follicles but on EC there was only one egg (the other two were empty). Sadly my egg didn't fertilise and even if it had my womb lining was too thin for transfer.
My sister then offered to egg donate. I was delighted but said we really needed to have the conversation as a family (she hadn't spoken to her husband and when I brought that up she told me that it was none of his business and her decision). My brother-in-law was dead against the idea. He's a solicitor and drew up a "contract" which included a number of things that I either couldn't afford (like giving my sister £6k - which is also illegal, paying for life insurance and private medical) or felt totally wrong (like not being allowed to tell my nieces...and therefore any future child of mine, about the egg being my sisters. He also only wanted me to have one egg and all the rest, if there were any were to be his and hers if she decided to have more children at a later date even though he's been saying for the last 3 years that he doesn't want any more kids). It caused a lot of upset and damage to family dynamics so I did a bit of research and ended up in Alicante at IVF Spain doing a donor round.
This was my first ET. The whole experience was terrible. They hadn't told me that nothing had reached blastocysts stage when I turned up for ET on day 5. Kept me waiting in the clinic for over an hour (and we all know in these circumstances that something is wrong...our intuition is strong) before casually throwing out "we won't be transferring today as we have nothing to transfer!" . It was then an agonising wait for 24hours to see if anything developed overnight. As I mentioned, just the one made it. I was hugely disappointed being that I had wanted to transfer 2.
When I went into this I bought a "package" from them that guarantees me 5 x day5 blastocysts, so the good thing is they owe me another 4 at their cost. I will of course need to pay the transfer cost and drugs etc.
It will be a new donor because of the issues last time which means I'm properly back at the beginning again while they go look for a match. Usually takes a couple weeks to a month....then it's putting the donor through an IVF cycle which is another couple months minimum.
MORE waiting! If I had Frosties from the last cycle, it would have been a lot quicker before I could go again.x

[LouLouB1987]

@SLR1982 I mean, that's awful. I can't believe that your brother in law put all those stipulations in from a simpler offer from your sister! In the long run, probably better to steer clear of it all. Such a shame. And I really really don't think that people who don't struggle don't understand how heartbreaking it is.

I've tried to explain that just, as a female human, I feel like my body just doesn't work. The one thing a female should be able to do, I can't. But I get 'oh don't worry it will happen' or 'try not to think about it and it will happen'... 👍🏻

Well I really wish you all the best and that the Spanish IVF come through with the other 4! 🤞🏻💐 xx

[SLR1982]

Thank you @LouLouB1987 - really appreciate your well wishes and I'm keeping everything crossed for you too! Keep me posted!

I didn't see anything wrong with POAS every day as I knew every day I did it that it should be negative because it was too early which made it come as a big pleasant shock when I got the BFP.

That's the first time I've actually written down my journey....you forget how much you've had to endure to get to where we are. Thanks for taking the time to read and respond.

I couldn't agree with you more! It does make you feel like a failure as a woman and what I've found so shocking is the number of woman who actually struggle with fertility and how difficult it has been in society to talk about it. I had no idea it was as common as it is and I hope we are starting to see a turn in the tides and able to talk about it more openly without the social awkwardness. That being said the terrible phrases like "don't give up hope" and "you're too good not to be a mum" don't really inspire that thought, but the occasional meetings with people who have been through what we are going through and the snippets of advice they give are priceless.
The other thing that frustrates me is the lack of understanding about IVF. I kinda feel like the general conception is that everyone eventually gets pregnant with IVF. Like it's some done deal. Thoughts are always about the injections and saying "oh I don't know how you do that! I don't think I could!" When by far the harder parts are waiting to see how many follicles there are, how many eggs they get, how many of the eggs fertilise, how many make it to day 5....then the agonising 2WW....and that's all before all the usual pregnancy stuff.xx

[Jojo19834]

@louloub1987 my OTD is Tuesday so not far off tbh so not expecting too much to change, however, it’s my first attempt and as a pessimist always thought I’d need to go again. Luckily have 2 frozen so can try them out. Looking forward to being hormone free for a few weeks too! Fingers crossed for your OTD, you have more time to get that BFP (I’m not out but working on the basis that it would be a lovely surprise now if I got a BFP!)

[LouLouB1987]

@Jojo19834 well as they always say, you're not out until you see AF or I guess in our case, tests/bloods confirm it! You hear of all sorts, late implants, no BFP'S until 9+dpt. All the best luck! And yes if not, chill out for a bit a look forward to your other frosties!

@SLR1982 I'm so glad you've been able to voice your story. Sometimes it's just nice to get it all out and be heard a little. Totally agree that the hardest parts are the waiting for tests, numbers, updates. The meds and injections are a breeze. Also massively feel the same about people thinking IVF is a done deal. I do wish more people would be open about infertility. I felt like the only one when we first went for tests. Only now, partly through Mumsnet have I realised we are not alone!

Certainly will be back to update soon! Xx

[LouLouB1987]

7dp6dt.. still BFN fast losing hope. Don't feel like getting out of bed today 👎🏻

[SLR1982]

Hang in there @LouLouB1987. I got BFN at day 7 and BFP at day 8....and when my HCG checked on day 9 it was 210, which is high....
Please don't lose hope. Keeping everything crossed for you x

[LouLouB1987]

@SLR1982 well.... to my surprise and still very sceptical. I left the test and went back to throw it away...

I'm not seeing things am I? It's very thin mind you, but pink?! X

[Jojo19834]

Well I can see a line, not familiar with the test tho! Test again in a day and see if gets stronger, whoop!!! As for me, still waiting, TMI time but brown discharge since yesterday which is not like a period so I’m keeping everything crossed for a late one. How many days are you now?

[LouLouB1987]

@Jojo19834 it's just a cheapy test. I dont have any first response lol! I'm 7 days past transfer now... just praying 🙏🏻

Ooooo fingers crossed. When is it official test day?

[SLR1982]

@LouLouB1987 I have to agree with @Jojo19834 - looks like a faint positive! Everything crossed for you!

[Jojo19834]

Oooooh 7 days, still loads for that to change into a good strong line. everything crossed for you! Please let us know how you get on. Was with a good friend and her new born at weekend and she said she did 5 tests that were all negative even though she was pregnant. There’s hope!

[LouLouB1987]

For now then we'll just keep plodding on and certainly will be back to update.

Thank you ladies, just for being here! X

[LouLouB1987]

9dp6dt and all looking very negative. That weird thin line a few days ago must of been a fault. Really want to stop the medication as it's making me feel rough but OTD are Saturday and Monday 😢

[SLR1982]

Oh honey, please don't give up hope! I know the waiting is so tough but it's only a few more days now until OTD. Hang in there!
I felt the same way about stopping meds when I was sure I'd MC....but I couldn't live with the idea of not having taken them if I'd been wrong.
Every single one of us is different and every pregnancy is different so having a definitive answer is an absolute necessity before doing/changing/stopping anything.
Sending you a huge hug x

[SLR1982]

@Jojo19834 how are you doing? Is your bhCG back?

[Cally70]

With DS1, I didn't get a BFP until 12dp5dt. With DS2, it was 5dp5dt. Fingers crossed for you