Advice needed

[Alyw89]

My husband and I have been trying for going on 3 years with a low sperm count and I have an autoimmune disease. This month we used a sperm donor to see if we would have any luck, with at home insemination.
I thought I had a faint bfp on a CB rapid detection this morning but it was at the 12 minute mark. So I disregarded it, even though it has a hint of blue. Then I did 2 Poundland cheapies after a 4 hour hold, then a 3 hour hold, both with lines and then they faded after half an hour to almost nothing. I'm sorry if this isn't the correct place to put this, but the ladies who havent dealt with infertility throw around the congratulations very quickly. And I can't bare to get my hopes up just yet.
Why would my lines which were pink in the 10 minutes on my Poundland cheapies fade to almost nothing after half an hour? I'm about 9dpo and I understand this is early however, I need blood thinners to help in early pregnancy so the earlier I know the better.
Thanks.

[Alyw89]

Top picture taken at 4 minutes, bottom one at 8 minutes

[Maybe2020]

I can definatly see something, would wait a few more days then test again x

[Thissucks1]

I agree, although the urge to do more is REAL, try to hold off a few days and do another to get a clearer result. I'm staying hopeful for you.

I've also been trying to conceive for quite a long time.
I have a child already with my husband, we took 8 months to conceive. This time round it's been 2 and a half years and nothing. A nurse told me once (on an inrelated chat) that there is such a thing as second child infertility. I didnt really take her seriously as I of course, made the assumtion that we could have more as we clearly made one.
We haven't been to the doctors because quite frankly, I'm afraid. I'm so scared that my body isn't doing its "job" and I know myself well enough to know that I'll self blame. My mum and gran also got on the menapause bus, quite early and I'm concerned that may be why I cant seem to conceive.
I realise the obvious answer really is to seek help but i feel doing this will make the process feel clinical.

I appreciate there are women who simply cant have any or have complications, women who try for years upon years and make our time of trying (3 yes for you and 2.5 for me) look like nothing but everyone has there own journey and it takes its toll. Its sole destroying to have flobag appear month after month.
I'm truly blessed to be fortunate enough to have had a child already, I realise how amazing this is, please dont feel I'm not grateful for this.

Sorry, mega long winded but I cant really explain myself to anyone, we haven't told anyone we were trying as it puts too much pressure on us.

[AliceAbsolum]

It's tough but you gotta wait it out. FMU with a FRER in 2 days would be my advice. Good luck!

[Persipan]

Get a FRER and try with that.

The Poundland ones, in particular, stay very faint until much longer in, and dry fainter rather than darker, so from what I'm seeing they do look positive.

[sandytoes84]

I tested early after ivf and my first tests were the same - very faint line which came up almost immediately and quickly faded. It turned out to be positive and I hope you get the same outcome op! All you can do is keep testing and try keep your mind busy for the next few days!

Agree with others that a FRER will be the clearest result.

[janey15]

I have found most of my test lines fade eventually - I'm sure if they are visible within the time it is positive but as the test dries out they fade?
Good luck, it's such a scary time when you don't know whether to be hopeful or cry xxx

[Alyw89]

Thank so much for your support ladies! I've read and appreciated everything! I love the community here! You are all so lovely and I wish we didn't have to experience this pain.
I took another Poundland cheapie and the same happened this morning. So to try confirm what I saw I did a clear and simple 5 days early from superdrug. BFN! Think I've just been a victim of some really good evaps or indents. I'm absolutely broken.
I told my husband and I'm frustrated because although he's upset, it doesn't crush him like it does me. And he expects me to just get up and carry on.
I asked him what our plan is for this coming cycle and he said I don't know let's think for a bit. We no hussy because the joy of short cycles means I'll ovulate again in 2 weeks today.
We used a relative stranger we found online last month for our donor and honestly I was terrified. It was stressful and I told my husband I wasn't sure I could do it again.
He said he was going to ask his best mate of nearly 30 years to donate as he has completed his family now. I asked him to get the ball rolling before my next cycle started and he hasn't. Now he is questioning whether to ask him and I'm probably unreasonably annoyed because he's left it this long to tell me. Kick a girl whilst she's down hey.
I know they say don't rule it out until AF arrives but I know really that I'm not pregnant. I'm due on Wednesday. No hope at all! Xx

[Ginandtonic31]

I know it hurts now but try and keep positive and maybe a break for a month will help you to have some normality?

Also I don't want to be a downer but please consider where you get sperm from. Sorry if you got it from a proper lab, it sounded in your last post like just one of these strangers that sell it through Facebook groups etc? Nobody knows whether people online carry anything genetic etc. My husband has great sperm and could easily 'sell' it online but he also has a gene mutation that causes a nasty disease. Therefore we've had to have ivf to prevent passing it on.

Sorry, I don't want to come across funny I just think we need to be careful with donors. Have you considered ivf using your husband'a sperm or a verified donor?

[LillyLeaf]

Sorry if you already have but have you tried IVF with icsi? That helps with low sperm count.