Did you attend sperm analysis appointment with your DP?

[StrawberrySundance]

We've started on the long road to assisted conception and DP has a sperm analysis appointment coming up. I don't know whether to attend with him or not. I think I'll feel a bit like a spare and awkward part. But I also want to support him. But what can I really do?

He keeps saying it's up to me if I want to attend.

Just thought I'd ask what others have done.

I feel totally at sea.

[GrandmaSharksDentures]

No, I didn't go with him. I let him attend alone to "enjoy the reading materials". Apparently he has only ever seen 1 female waiting for her partner in the clinic & she looked very uncomfortable.

[mayihavesomecakeplease]

I went the first time and "helped" but he wanted to go alone the second time. I think do whatever you as a couple are most comfortable with!

[squirrelnutkins1]

Oh goodness no! OH said he went in a room, did his thing and then handed it thru a hatch!

[seven201]

It didn't even enter my mind that my dh might have wanted me to go for support. I wouldn't go unless your dh really wants you to.

[Teddybear45]

No, but my fertility clinic have a strict policy against this.

[KristieP2018]

I went with him but stayed in the lounge. Just here because he asked me to go for moral support.

[CollaterlyS1sters]

@mayihavesomecakeplease I went the first time and "helped" but he wanted to go alone the second time.

Jesus H

[StrawberrySundance]

He's gone off! We got here early and I think this was the longest 30 minutes of my life until he was called in. DP was so nervous and jumpy and just like a little ball of energy.

I'm alone in the waiting room now, thankfully, but when we got here there were 5 men and 2 women, so actually I wasn't as unusual as I thought I would be.

Now the wait begins...

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

I went but only because I drove him - I think he felt awkward though as I'm sure he thought I'd be timing how long he'd be in there!?

He's had the test on the NHS and also privately and he said the NHS don't provide reading materials but the private one did (get what you pay for I guess! 🤣)

[pinegreen]

Nope. We cut a deal that I went off to get Day 2/3 blood tests done this week & my husband went off on the same day to get his sperm analysis done. Fortunately he’s quite good natured about it all and rationalised that it’s “for science”. He was amused that the room had an iPad wired into Pornhub though.

Apart from the receptionist announcing twice that he was there for a sperm analysis (surely this is one procedure that needs a code name!) he found it totally fine.

[FuzzyPixel]

I didn't for the first one, DH didn't want me at that one. He did want me at all subsequent ones though.

Hope all goes well for you both StrawberrySundance.

[DianaBlythe]

I didn’t. They gave the option of him doing a sample at home and bringing it in within 30 minutes or doing it at the clinic. They asked me what I thought he’d prefer. I had no idea!

The clinic was a 20 minute drive away and it felt like quite a bit of pressure to get the timings right but he wasn’t mad keen on the hospital either. He suggested he’d just pull into a lay-by .

He came home and told me about the clinic room so maybe he did that or maybe it was an elaborate lie and he did it in the car park!

[StrawberrySundance]

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted

He's had the test on the NHS and also privately and he said the NHS don't provide reading materials but the private one did (get what you pay for I guess! 🤣)

The private clinic we went to didn't have any apparently! Serves him right for being a cheapskate haha

[StrawberrySundance]

Results are in and it's very bad news. 100k per ml.

My head is spinning. I was expecting bad news but this has knocked me a bit.

What next?

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

Sorry you got bad news!
It's not the end of the world - sperm takes 90 days to mature so put him on strong preconception vitamins like proxeed or Proceive Max? Also tell him to cut out caffeine and alcohol?

He's not another bloody cyclist is he? So many threads lately about poor sperm results and the man being a cyclist - if he's in to that probably going to need to knock that on the head for a while

Last resort is obviously surgical sperm retrieval but obviously it only takes 1 sperm to fertilise an egg so ICSI is definitely going to be your only option x

[dreichhighlands]

OP, the results of some really bad samples are currently sitting on my sofa eating breakfast. ISCI doesn't need that many sperm to work.
Try not to stress.

[StrawberrySundance]

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted

Hahahaha thankfully not a cyclist! I don't think I could cope with one of those. Vitamins might be worth a go.

dreichhighlands

Glad it worked out for you

I'll have to start number crunching to see what we can afford. How much was your isci if I may ask?

[StrawberrySundance]

Oh forgot to mention, he stopped drinking alcohol 4 months ago and is down to 2 coffees a day...

[dreichhighlands]

OP we did ours 11 years ago so I'm not sure how helpful our finances would be? We budgeted for 3 cycles but only needed one.
Fertility issues are grim, for what it is worth I would try to just focus on the next step and not other think ( I was rubbish at doing this!)

[dreichhighlands]

I do know some friends more recently used clinics abroad as it brought the costs down a lot.

[itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted]

I did ICSI with short protocol mild ivf and it cost about £7k - then another £1k to freeze embryos and because we had to do a freeze all and then transfer that was another £1k

There are lots of places offering interest free loans now to cover the cost of it and also some places have a 100% refund offer if it doesn't work