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Is she insensitive

(5 Posts)
Strawberryshortcake28 Fri 05-Jul-19 22:36:37

Been TTC for two years met up with a good friend yday who is heavily pregnant

I knew it would be hard for me but on the other hand had to do it before she gave birth I wanted to wish her well and show my support

She asked me about my plans for babies and I was open and honest about what we're going through and how difficult it is going through the tests treatment etc

She said she was sorry then immediately changed the subject to how excited she is how amazing her scan went how gorgeous her pram is how she got pregnant while on the pill

I thought it was a bit insensitive but put on a brave face went home and cried so hard

My dh came home from work and asked me what was wrong I told him everything and he completely agreed with her ! Said that she shouldn't hide he excitement that our time will come

I think back to when I got engaged and she had just broken up with her dp I tiptoed around the subject and tried not to make s big deal of it

Have I just lost the plot and become spiteful

dreichuplands Fri 05-Jul-19 23:04:45

You haven't lost the plot or become spiteful OP you are just dealing with a really hard thing.
Be kind to yourself and recognize that you did a good thing for your friend in meeting up with her.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted Sat 06-Jul-19 09:02:59

Some people just dont know what to say/how to deal with the subject of infertility especially when she is heavily pregnant - I think you're being a bit harsh on her to be honest - did you want her to keep delving into the ins and outs of what your going through? Best will in the world she can't possibly relate to it and so was obviously uncomfortable and changed the subject.

You'll find that your friends/family become divided into the fertile and non fertile categories - brutal but true. I've had 5 pregnancy losses - I'm open about it when people ask me as i don't want it to be a taboo subject but at the same time I understand it makes people uncomfortable because they really don't know what to say for the best and are afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting me. Sometimes not saying anything is the better option.

ChocolateGateaux84 Sun 07-Jul-19 20:40:12

No she sounds like a self centred idiot. If you want an honest opinion. X

mouse1234567 Sun 07-Jul-19 20:51:13

Yep - I agree -you told her what you were going through and she still proceeded to talk about her pregnancy and how excited she was. I think she should have chosen to talk about other topics. Unfortunately some people get so wrapped up in themselves and can be clueless.

Sorry you are going through this -it makes it so much harder when people are not sensitive.

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