13 weeks scan and terrified 😔

[Lunablue765]

Hello back story I have pcos/under active thyroid so have struggled with fertility for ten plus years. I have been pregnant a total of six times this being number six I have two children so have suffered three losses all mmc from eight to ten weeks.
This current pregnancy Ive had bleeding and two early scans one at 7.4 weeks and the second the gynaecologist didn't date me but guessed between nine and ten. I was given progesterone suppositories but late on ten weeks so I'm now going from the first early scan 13 weeks and terrified Im too be told its another mmc and the progesterone has masked it.

I've been using a doppler just to try an reassure myself but now I'm freaking out can hear my hb and a whoosing noise but not a very fast hb so googled and freaked me out that placental noise doesn't equal a live fetus so I'm really scared about the scan today. I'm attending alone as my husband is watching our youngest trying to stay calm but its so hard.

I don't feel I've got many more tries left being 37 and having rubbish fertility to start with 😔 any words of wisdom to help me through xxx

[RedPandaFluff]

Hi @Lunablue765 - I'm 11 weeks pregnant after 4 gruelling cycles of IVF and the feelings you're describing are exactly what I'm experiencing. If I lose this baby, it's probably the end of the road; and I'm so jealous of people who can keep trying naturally after the heartbreak of a miscarriage.

I know there's nothing I can do or say to comfort you - the only thing that will help is getting reassurance at your scan appointment. From what you've said, there's nothing that would make me think you won't get good news - bleeding in early pregnancy is really common (I know this from frantically googling when I had it) and you need to disregard your fears from the Doppler - I'm guessing you're not trained to use one, so it's likely a red herring.

Isn't there anyone who can go with you to your appointment? A friend or family member? It would be good if you had support with you.

By the way - I've paid for a private scan this afternoon as I can't bear to wait for my hospital one and I'm freaking out, so I'm actually in no position to tell you what to do! Here's a handhold 💐

[MissyPG]

I didn’t want to read and run. Not sure I have any wise words though.

Is there anyone else who could go with you? A friend or other family member? Worst case could you take your youngest with your DH?

I understand the anxiety but using a Doppler isn’t good for your MH and at 13 weeks is too early (16 is the earliest our midwives use).

I hope everything is ok with you and baby.

[Persipan]

I know how scary this is but I do strongly recommend you get rid of the Doppler. It's not doing anything to reduce your anxiety, it's too early to be using it anyway, and even later on in pregnancy it's not easy to use them correctly on oneself, so it isn't really giving you any information. It's just giving you something else to fixate on, rather than actually being helpful to you.

I wish you the very, very best for your scan - I have everything crossed for you.

[Lunablue765]

Thank you all for your kind replies x sadly there is no one I could ask we don't live near any family and I've not told anyone about this pregnancy so none of my friends know I didn't want the pity and silver lining stuff people say when they don't know what to say in my past miscarriages I've been astounded by the insensitivity some people show you especially my family members x

[RedPandaFluff]

How are you @Lunablue765 - have you had your scan yet? I'm heading for mine shortly, and I'm terrified 😣

[Lunablue765]

Hello I did have my scan and baby was still there growing amazingly I got myself into a bit of a state. When I saw sonographer she said I can see you've had alot of sad experiences regarding my three losses and I burst into tears x baby was a pickle and kept it's back to us I had to shake my tummy to try and move baby. It didn't work but baby measured 13 weeks 6 further than I thought but it was guesstimated daring as baby would turn so I have to be seen no later that 20 weeks 4 or something for the best measurement. I hope your scan was a happy one too xx

[MissyPG]

That’s fantastic news, congratulations 😄

[MummyBearBoo]

Agree about the Doppler we only have coz my Dad's a GP and knows what he's doing but he says they and their midwife get so many calls of people panicking coz they're not trained to use one!!
I'm 8+4 and also terrified I have PCOS too and 1 DD, I was pregnant last year but due to a genetic condition had to have a TFMR I have to have CVS at 11 weeks whenever I get pregnant and am terrified of getting a bad result again! As long as the baby has a heartbeat at my scan on Tuesday then I will probably be booked in for CVS 2 weeks later! If the baby has the genetic condition it won't survive! I also had every bad side effect from the tablets for the TFMR last time and had really bad internal bleeding after which I had to have the artery temporarily blocked to stop -it's sorted now! I'm not going with anyone either but I hope we both get good results! Fingers crossed XX

[MummyBearBoo]

Great news!!!

[RedPandaFluff]

Ahhhh @Lunablue765 that's great, I'm so relieved for you!

I had happy news too - heartbeat, measurements all good, and I have a wee somersaulter 😄

Fingers crossed for continued happy healthy pregnancies for all of us 💐

[Lunablue765]

Mummybear boo I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through having tfmr must have been very heart breaking. You must be a very strong person to try again I wish you all the luck 🤞 all is well with further testing and scan. I do understand the need and urge for another baby for me it's seemed the more I lost the more the yearning increased.
I cried with my husband earlier saying it shouldn't have been like this those three losses all were potential life. This family road has been so very hard x

[Lunablue765]

Redpandafluff I'm so pleased your scan went well too how far along are you? A somersaulter lol I think mine maybe another girl my two previous were difficult to scan both girls I think my poor hubby may have to move to the shed x