My friend is in labour

[Dinosauraddict]

A friend I am very close to has text me to say she’s in hospital in labour. I am very happy for her but am very aware that we have been TTC since before she starting trying for this baby. We’ve been unsuccessful, and she is about to give birth. I have another friend whose due date is this week. I have already bought presents for their arrivals, and they both know my struggles with TTC, but honestly today I just feel shit. I want to cuddle under a duvet with ice cream. Or scream. Please help.

[mumsie8]

for you. I doubt there is little anyone could say which would offer you any real comfort right now. I am truly sorry for your difficulties in ttc and i won't offer any seemingly trite words of 'it will happen'. Just have an unmumsnetty hug from me and i hope you take some comfort from that.

[PurpleDaisies]

Cuddle under the duvet with ice cream. It’s so hard.

[Reachbackforthechair]

Really sorry OP.
Completely understandable

[MrsMozartMkII]

Do whatever you need to - cuddling under the duvet is good - that'll get you through today.

[Dinosauraddict]

Thanks everyone, my DH is amazing but he keeps saying ‘we’ll have a bump very soon’ and I don’t believe him. I’ve ordered Ben and jerry’s - sod the diet for the day!

[ChocolateGateaux84]

So so hard.
Very brave and selfless of you u to get them presents
So yes i say get under that duvet with a big tub of ice cream.

During my 9 years of infertility i always found the worst bit was hearing about pregnancy, labour and birth. I had to literally shut my ears to it.

I almost liken it to hearing about your ex with another womam... I dunno
It really cut deep
Look after yourself xx

[PurpleDaisies]

Have you told him that while he means well, that’s not actually a very helpful or comforting thing to say?

[keeponrunning85]

It sucks.

If it makes you feel any better I cried in my car for 20 minutes when I got my best friend's birth announcement even though she had an elective section so I had known for weeks exactly when she was going to have her baby.

Do whatever you need to do. Eat the whole bloody tub if it helps.

[TwistofFate]

Do whatever makes you feel better and take care of yourself. It's ok to be happy for someone else and sad for yourself.

I can kinda relate as one of my friends has just given birth meanwhile we're in the middle of our 1st cycle of IVF.

[hoping2018]

It’s so so shit. You want to be happy for them but it just highlights this gap in your life. Do whatever you need to get through - as pp said I always found pregnancy and birth the hardest and a bit easier once the child arrived.

I got through it all by just telling myself I’d be a mum one day regardless of what route (though I realise this isn’t for everyone - but I knew I wouldn’t give up until I was, biological child or not!) fortunately second round ivf worked in the end xx

[Dinosauraddict]

Thank you all. You’ve made me believe it’s ok to feel like this (I was feeling like a horrible human) and that self care is important (I’m not very good at it). I did indeed to resort to a duvet on the sofa with DH and Ddogs. Helps to remember how lucky I am that I have them I guess..!

[Dinosauraddict]

@TwistofFate - wishing you luck with the IVF.
@Hoping2018 - glad it worked out for you!
@ChocolateGateaux84 - hope you coped with 9 years I don’t know, but all credit to you. I feel broken already.
@keeponrunning85 - that is exactly how I feel. I knew their due dates were coming so even though I didn’t know to the day, the end of the pregnancy isn’t a surprise, but it just feels like I’ve been stabbed. Overly dramatic I am aware, but I don’t know a better description