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Partner trouble

(3 Posts)
AmyMaria2 Sat 18-May-19 01:30:19

Hi all..
I hope someone can relate, maybe not ..
Me and my partner are currently going through fertility issues and on our second month of clomid, my partner and I have been together for 3 years, but knew each other for longer and have been ttc for 2 years. When our first month of clomid failed a few days ago and I came on my period I was devastated I really shut my partner out and felt like a failure for a few days - after speaking to people I realise now that it was just month 1 and I have more chances and opportunities to achieve what I want- a family , I just worry that my partner isn't as on board as me, he says he is but sometimes I don't feel like he's as bothered as me about the whole thing.. maybe it's because he's a man? Whenever we have an appointment he seems to want to be there but this time (appt on Monday) he is annoyed he has to take a day off work? I think me being upset and withdrawn over the first month of clomid failing has put him off the whole process? I understand if no one relates to this post or thinks I am being over the top... thank you x

Ginger951 Sun 19-May-19 18:43:12

Your not going over the top! Let's just start there.
Me and my husband have also been trying for 2 years and had a failed IVF/icsi round in Feb. Currently starting the protocol for a FET next month.
I know it's super hard but try and keep talking to one another. You are going through this together not alone. At times it can feel that way because you are trying to protect each other but don't.
One thing I've realised in all this is that as a man they can feel at a distance from all the treatments. As women we take the drugs and monitor our bodies etc etc but they are just bystanders. Trying to support us but not knowing how to or how we are feeling or how the treatments are making us feel.
We are a mystery to them most the time as it is!
And just remember he is going through it just as much as you. Be kind to one another and talk. And remember even on the days when it seems like he doesn't want it, remember that I'm sure like me you have those days to.
I wish you the best of luck!

Eggcellent29 Mon 20-May-19 13:30:22

Men love women, women love babies and babies love hamsters.

From my experience and that of my close friends, many felt that their partner would not be bothered if they didn’t have children and that they only did because they love their partner and want to see them happy and fulfilled.

It might be a long journey, it might be a short one. But either way, there will be arguments and disagreements! It’s only natural at a tome when there is so much pressure, upset, etc. It’s so important to talk to each other about how you are feeling, and to forgive each other if you behave ‘badly’ or out of character.

You are in no way being over the top. You are feeling these things and you have every right to express them in the way that is personal to you. But when that moment has passed, it may help to explain to him why you were feeling that way, so next time he may be able to understand more smile

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