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Why do I do it?

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Ginfizplease Mon 15-Apr-19 12:22:11

Long story short. I have 2 DC. One conceived via ICSI after a few years trying due to very low MF in all ways. I'm fine. 2nd DC conceived naturally 15 months after first. Not trying and was still BF so had no cycle. We tried to use our frozen embryos later on but it didn't work.

This month I'm on day 31 of an average 30 days cycle. For the last three months I've started brown spotting well before period arrived but this month nothing. This isn't unusual in the grand scheme of things. I've had plenty of cycles exactly like this one in previous years. But for some reason this month I'm blindly hoping it's because I'm pregnant. It feels stupid but I'm allowing my thoughts to run away with me. I know om going to be crushed in a few days. Why so I do it to myself?! I know just how lucky I am to even have my two DC. They're all I wanted and more (well, if it was my choice I would have always wanted three, long before I knew of our MF issues). Just thought I would offload somewhere people would understand. I was finally accepting our lot but then this month I'm in a spin. sad

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