Has anyone has as much bad luck with infertility as I have

(13 Posts)
Lizinder Wed 17-Apr-19 17:32:18

Thanks for the messages of support. It's good to hear your experiences too. Onwards and upwards.

OP’s posts: |
VenusStarr Tue 16-Apr-19 09:44:13

I did endless searches to try and find some hope @NBparis, ithas just taken over everything at the moment. I'm definitely starting to accept that it is going to take a whole for me to come to terms with what's happened.

Very similar to me @Rarfy. I just feel like I can't trust my body at the moment. The hospital didn't really give us any information either, even when it was confirmed last week thru just discharged me without even a leaflet. NHS 111 absolutely petrified me so I didn't really leave the house for two weeks whilst waiting for my second scan, just in case it started while I was out.

I'm sorry to hear that @ScottishBadger flowers

NBparis Mon 15-Apr-19 22:45:15

Oh @venusstarr that sounds so traumatic. I was told at 6 weeks that there was nothing in the sac and it was too small, and even with that total lack of good news I still spent the week between scans to confirm googling it and convincing myself it might be OK. Having that roller-coaster of bad news, good news, bad news must have been so so awful. I think we have to give ourselves time as it is a traumatic experience and you can't just click your fingers and be over it, much as we might want to.
@scottishbadger I know exactly what you mean about pregnancy announcements. My sister announced her 2nd pregnancy when I was newly pregnant before my first miscarriage and she had her healthy baby recently. I've really struggled to deal with it. I'm the same with pushing the deadline... I always said three transfers and we'd give up and go back to our lives but that just feels impossible now. I'm so scared that I'll spend all of my 30s going through ttc trauma but I still can't stop.

ScottishBadger Mon 15-Apr-19 22:19:00

Fingers crossed that now you have the fibroids sorted, it'll help everything else along?
I have one child (7) who came along after 10 years, that was post pcos diagnosis and surgery to remove excess womb lining. We've been trying for a second since when was 6 weeks old. 4 miscarriages and plenty of Clomid but nothing has stuck. We were going to stop trying when I turned 35. Bumped that to 40 now.
Every pregnancy announcement is like a slap in the face.

Rarfy Mon 15-Apr-19 22:11:49

I'm 34 if that makes anyone feel better and my problem started in 2014 so it's taken me a while.

Missed miscarriages are just psychological torture. I spent 2 wks between scans convincing myself my dates were wrong whilst worrying about starting the physical process of miscarrying.

My sympathies are with you all xx

VenusStarr Mon 15-Apr-19 21:43:09

Thank you @NBparis. I thought I was doing OK as I was told a month ago at my first scan that it was most likely a blighted ovum. Had a scan 2 weeks later and they found a foetal pole and yolk sac measuring 5 weeks (I should have been nearly 8 weeks), so had to have another scan last week. In the meantime I miscarried naturally. Being in limbo for that time, I thought I'd come to terms with it. It was only confirmed as complete last Wednesday. We've been given the all clear to try again if we feel ready. I don't think I can face actively trying at the moment but we won't prevent either, just dtd whenever. I feel very stuck. I'm 35, nearly 36 now. I hope your procedure goes smoothly.

So sorry to hear your experience @cranstonmanor flowers

Oh @Rarfy, I'm so pleased you have your DD but so sorry you had such a horrible time. I'm sorry for your losses flowers

NBparis Mon 15-Apr-19 21:14:52

Oh @venusstarr I'm so sorry you're having a tough day. It's like that, isn't it ? Fine one minute and then it all hits you again. I hope you'll feel better soon. Are you just trying again naturally now or do you have to wait?
We are really just after finding out so nothing much happening yet. The fertility clinic has been really good but we've been referred to the mat hospital for the procedure and then further testing. It's going to take a few months, which is disheartening as I feel the time passing (I'm turning 35 this year) and would love to just plough ahead but there's no point if I'm going to have more mcs.

@cranstonmanor @rarfy you guys have been through so much. It is such a long cruel journey for some and all you can do is keep going and hope for a good outcome eventually.


cranstonmanor Mon 15-Apr-19 20:15:23

Been busy TTC for six years+. Have had fertility treatments since 5,5 years. 3 or 4 chemical pregnancies, a miscarriage at 11+4 weeks, an ectopic pregnancy and a termination for medical reasons at 18 weeks.

You're not the only one, you're not alone in this.

Rarfy Mon 15-Apr-19 19:39:52

Probably not quite the same but my first pregnancy ended in an mmc. I had a terrible time with it haemoragging three times and having to have emergency surgery.

I was very lucky to be pregnant again 6 weeks later. At the 20wk scan we discovered our son had a condition called PFFD. Main problems being one leg was half the size of the other and he had scoliosis. We chose to continue with the pregnancy with close monitoring only for him to die at 28wks and I delivered him stillborn.

I had a break after him then tried again when we were ready. We had lots of early scans due to history and things were going quite straightforward. I had my 12wk screening scan but baby was too wriggly so I had to return to get the nuchal fold. Returned at 14+2 and hb had stopped. Had another erpc.

Waited another year and tried again and am happy to say my dd is laid in my arms as I type this. The road to her wasn't plain sailing either I had placenta previa and ended up in hospital from 33wks. She is here though and amazing.

I just want to wish you luck on your journey and hope you get there sometime soon.

VenusStarr Mon 15-Apr-19 19:30:34

It's a really tough time. Not had a great day today, it seems to hit me out when I'm least expecting it. I am so sorry to hear your experience @NBparis. Do you have an appointment scheduled yet at the recurrent miscarriage clinic? Has your fertility clinic been able to offer any support? Hope you get some answers soon xx flowers

NBparis Mon 15-Apr-19 17:42:42

@lizinder what an awful experience you've had - I'm sorry you had to go through that. I really hope your new clinic works out and that your hard times are behind you now.
@venusstarr I'm sorry about your mc. It's hard to hear that it is bad luck but I guess it is good that they think it was nothing to do with fibroids. Bad luck means you've every chance of it working next time. I have just had my second miscarriage after my fourth ivf transfer and finding it quite difficult to find the hope I need to go on. They are doing testing and referring me to recurrent loss clinic but I don't know if its better to find a cause or be told its bad luck.
Its such a tough road.

VenusStarr Sat 13-Apr-19 19:07:14

I'm sorry to hear of your experience and miscarriage. I've just had a miscarriage after 16 month ttc, like you we thought we'd done it. We have a fertility clinic appointment in May and I also have fibroids. The gynecologist doesn't want to operate though, even though I have lots she doesn't think they affected the pregnancy and it was just bad luck.

Good luck, what's the next step for you? 🍀

Lizinder Sat 13-Apr-19 17:33:23

Me and my husband were to for infertility treatment. But I got pregnant and we were extastic. The thing was I suffered a miscarriage. It broke our hearts. The cause was fibroids. I had never heard of fibriods before that. Had the miscarriage surgically removed, but it was not all removed and had to return to hospital again. I had 9 fibroids remove with one operation. Was to have IVF on the NHS but it was no longer available in my area. Looked at private IVF but balked at the price. Done the assessment and changed our mind. Looked around for somewhere that done it on NHS but no luck. So back to try private with better finance. But a troublesome fibroid was found on scan so back to the hospital to get rid of them. Another wait and to be told not all again had been taken out, so another operation. Now trying another fertility clinic and seems to be ok. Wish me luck with it. Upto 4 years since the miscarriage and patience with infertility is a must but times ticking.

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