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2WW - forgot how hard this is :-(

2 replies

RedPandaFluff · 13/04/2019 09:21

And I shouldn't have forgotten, because this is cycle 4. I am clearly a slow learner . . .

Anyway, I'm 3dp5dt and have bouts of optimism (I'm on prednisolone and Inhixa this time, and we transferred a beautiful hatching blast) that then plummet into despair (I don't deserve to be a mum, it's just not going to happen for me, my body doesn't know what to do etc.)

I'm worried when I have cramps, I'm worried when I don't have cramps. I have sore boobs but I know that's the progesterone. I'm eating everything I can get my hands on which only serves to make me hate myself even more.

Anyone else going nuts . . . ?

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BlueSarah · 16/04/2019 13:09

Hi RedPandaFluff how are you getting on? You sound just like me. I had been feeling quite positive but the past couple of days I've been really down; I'm pretty sure it hasn't worked and the thought of having to come in to work and carry on like nothing has happened... there have been tears.

Today I am 8dp5dt, I'm suppose to wait until day 15! I'm planning on testing on Sunday if I physically and emotionally make it that far. When are you testing?

Stay strong xx

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RedPandaFluff · 16/04/2019 18:55

Hi @BlueSarah - thank you for responding, I'm ashamed to say I caved and tested on 4dp5dt. If I were advising another poster who planned to do that, I'd say 'it's far too early, don't do it!'

I got the faintest of lines, which darkened on the morning of 5dp5dt, and then a positive digital last night. I'm thrilled but also cautious as I've had chemicals before, so I very much doubt I'll be relaxing any time soon.

I think some people cope better by holding out and testing on the official test day, others cope better if they have a slow realisation that it hasn't worked. My perspective is, if I get a positive that has then changed to a negative by test day, then I want to know about it as knowing I'm prone to chemical pregnancies might affect my treatment plan next time, if that makes sense. Knowledge is power!

But knowledge can also be very painful 😖

Do you think you'll make it to Sunday?