Hi all,
Infrequent poster/constant lurker. I have a translocation and we're hopefully staring our first IVF+PGD cycle later this year, best guess is currently August/September time but should find out more at the next appointment next week.
I've had mild-moderate depression in the past but it's always been manageable, but since around the time we started TTC it's slowly gotten worse. I'm now at a point where I just cannot cope any more and am finding daily life a real struggle. Last year I managed to get onto a group CBT course which helped a little, and a few weeks ago I self-referred back and was assessed for one on one support. Their assessment was high depression scores and moderate for anxiety which I think fits my symptoms, and they're recommending a course of one on one CBT but it's going to be quite a while before I climb up the waiting list.
Every morning I feel like someone is holding me by the shoulders to the bed, and once I do make it up/into work I alternate between feeling like my brain is made of porridge and unable to concentrate or make any decisions (I cried the other day when DH asked what I wanted for dinner ) and feeling like a scrambling bag of cats where it won't stop shouting at me and I feel completely overwhelmed. I feel like I'm going to get disciplined in work because my productivity is appalling and I spend half the day on the verge of tears at my desk for no discernible reason.
I'm not sure this is 100% the result of long-term TTC and approaching IVF, but it's a pretty large factor. Does anyone have any advice please? It's such a hard journey and I know a lot of you have unfortunately also been through this/still struggling. I'm considering going to the GP again and raising antidepressants as an option, but not sure whether the side effects are worth it and I'm scared about how they would impact our IVF chances.... has anyone been on them and happy to share how they found it/how the side effects worked with the hormones etc.?
I also am self-medicating with food and alcohol which is not helping my MH or my plan for "my body is a temple"-esque health prior to starting treatment.
Sorry for the long ramble. DH is amazing but other than him I don't really have any friends I feel comfortable talking about this with and I just don't know what to do. Thanks very much in advance to anyone who is comfortable sharing xx
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How do you handle your MH?
8 replies
ivf2019 · 12/04/2019 13:56
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