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anyone else on a waiting list for ivf feeling very lonely

(10 Posts)
2fingers22018 Tue 09-Apr-19 17:20:29

We ve been ttc 3 and 1/2 yrs now we re on an ivf waiting list 6mths long! feels like a lifetime away im feeling very depressed and alone we come under unexplained infertility..anyone else in a similiar situation?

TwistofFate Tue 09-Apr-19 19:21:24

You're not alone - though I know it must feel like it! We've been trying for 2 years and we're also in the unexplained category. I only know 1 woman who had fertility treatment in real life, and it's been the most lonely and isolating time in my life.

janey15 Tue 09-Apr-19 21:45:28

You are not alone - we are just starting our last iui cycle before starting the ivf process. We've been told it takes about 6 months here too. We're unexplained, although I've got endo, and we've been trying for 4 years.
I'm new to these boards but finding it very friendly and supportive x

theotherblonde Tue 09-Apr-19 23:08:36

I am also on a 6/7 months waiting list. I am actually surprised as I thought it would be around 12/18 months so much shorter than expected for my area.

For me, I am just emotionally struggling to get my head around the fact that I cannot have children naturally. I have stage 4 endometriosis and my tubes are both blocked. I am thankful for IVF but its not something I had planned on considering until very recently.

sandytoes84 Wed 10-Apr-19 05:10:54

You’re not alone and depending where you live could have quite a wait. Even when you start treatment it can be a long haul. Been ttc for 7 years and only had 1st ivf at end of last year, freeze all and had to wait until April (next financial year) to start first FET - fingers crossed for next month.

My advice would be to first come to terms with the fact that it might not spontaneously happen for you and you will need treatment - I found counselling really helpful.

The process is long and so it helps to feel like you’re doing something useful. I found trying to get healthier was a good focus; with the view that I’d be in a physically better condition to cope with ivf when it started.

The loneliness is difficult, especially when all of your friends are having babies which always happens when you’ve been waiting so long! It’s great when you can rely on others for support, but really it comes from you and your partner.

You’ll be so much stronger than you know you could be and whatever the outcome you’ll one day realise how badass and brave you are for coping with it all!

Good luck op!

2fingers22018 Wed 10-Apr-19 15:33:46

Thanks for all the replies girls! @TwistofFate i know a few ppl in RL with fertility issues but no one im close enough to share my experience with its just soo frustrating isnt it i feel more depressed with every month that passes i dont want to be an older mother..suppose i dnt get a say in the matter @janey15 welcome to mumsnet i honestly dont know what id do without this site prob go mad lol @theotherblonde i know what you mean it doesnt feel like its your own life sometimes i still cant believe its came to this its scarey @sandytoes84 i have been trying to lose weight and concentrate on being healthier ive lost over a stone it was a gd distraction for a while but i can feel myself getting depressed again. Thank you for reminding me i will get through it just gets tough sometimes x good luck to everyone going through treatment atm💗🍀

Noortje Thu 11-Apr-19 15:40:23

We're still waiting and it feels like nothing happens. I have found it easier since we had our first appointment at the clinic and got some answers about what treatment we need and roughly when it is going to happen.
I have also started journaling; writing down every day what I'm grateful for, which positive things happened that day, and what I have to look forward to. Even when I feel down it forces me to stay positive. I now think less about what a future with a baby would look like, and more about how I can make life fun in other ways (at home, holiday, work) smile. Good luck!

2fingers22018 Sun 14-Apr-19 19:12:11

@Noortje i try to focus on things to look forward to the journal is a gd idea al try that out x its just hard isnt it? Im stuck in a vicious cycle were im depressed so its hard to have the motivation to do things i enjoy. I just wish we could get the ivf started just now and if it doesnt work look at other options adoption etc everything just involves more waiting uuuggh

Holly19 Sun 14-Apr-19 19:26:48

@janey15 do you mind me asking how long you had to wait to start IUI in comparison to IVF?

Anaesthetist83 Wed 17-Apr-19 16:21:35

Gosh. I went to an open evening at Nurture in Nottingham last night and they don’t have a waiting list for NHS or private - a few weeks for paperwork to be processed etc. Have you investigated other units?

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