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Egg donation

(12 Posts)
ladygoingGaga Mon 04-Mar-19 20:27:50

My sister heard awful news today that she will never conceive naturally due to not producing eggs herself.

I’m 40 and have 12 year old DC myself, my first thought was how could I help.

Is it even possible to donate eggs at 40?

I would happily have tests to find out if I could

Persipan Mon 04-Mar-19 21:53:04

I'm pretty sure the usual criteria for an egg donor involve a cut-off age of 35. You might possibly find a clinic willing to work with you as an older known donor, but the downside there would be that the odds of success for your sister would be fairly low, because she'd effectively have the odds of IVF success that a 40 year old woman would have, which would be under 10%, because egg quality decreases with age. Whereas, with an egg donor aged under 35, she'd have much higher odds of success. So, even if there were a clinic willing to go ahead, it might not be the most practical option.

The other thing is, not everyone is comfortable with the idea of using eggs from a friend or family member. For some people, it's a great option; for others, it's much too emotionally complicated. And, infertile people often find having those around them respond by immediately offering to donate their eggs or act as a surrogate to be... a bit challenging. So, while this is a very kind thought, I would recommend treading carefully around the idea.

What you can definitely do is be there for her. Don't try to fix it. Just acknowledge that this is shit, and you're sorry this is happening to her. That will mean an awful lot.

ladygoingGaga Tue 05-Mar-19 08:57:59

Great advice, never thought that me trying to fix it could be seen like that. Thank you

ladygoingGaga Tue 12-Mar-19 22:20:30

Bit of an update, had a heartfelt talk with my sister and she would prefer an egg from me than a stranger.
However she has funding for two lots of treatment and twelve months to do it in.

Anyone have any idea how long it takes to investigate if I would be suitable donar? Is it just a blood test?

MandalaYogaTapestry Tue 12-Mar-19 22:31:35

You do realise that her baby will be actually your daughter? And you will have her in your life but as another person's child?

MandalaYogaTapestry Tue 12-Mar-19 22:32:06

Or son, of course

mynameiscalypso Tue 12-Mar-19 22:37:27

Based on my experience with IVF and friends going through similar processes, I don't think it would take that long. You'd have to go through STI screening and probably some checks on your ovarian reserves so they can see how well you would respond to drugs and how many eggs they're likely to get but it's not like donating an organ where you have to be a 'match'. If you're capable of producing healthy eggs via stims, I would have thought they would have as good a chance as any of implanting (although I may be wrong). What you're doing is an amazing thing; I wish you both all the best.

LillyLeaf Tue 12-Mar-19 23:03:27

There's a documentary called 'One more shot' it actually deals with yours and your sister's situation. It might give you some insight. Good luck.

dragonsfire Tue 12-Mar-19 23:11:01

Hi I have literally just gone through a chemical pregnancy through IVF with my amazing husband, so please know I understand.

Going forward egg donation might be a situation to look at for us - saying that yes my friends have offered but honestly no I wouldn’t accept.

Actually going through the injections and egg Collection can be traumatic, I would never want my sister or loved one to go through it!

I think anonymous would be the way to go as there is always the risk of your sister feeling like s parebt.

Keep it anonymous, keep it professional or could muddy the waters

dragonsfire Tue 12-Mar-19 23:13:02

*a parent

Persipan Wed 13-Mar-19 06:21:06

Have a look here: www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://www.ngdt.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/HFEA_The_donation_process_for_known_egg_donors_LR.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwjC2fzru_7gAhXESBUIHWBXC0AQFjAEegQIARAB&usg=AOvVaw0ZSd2qaN8uql25gBT0V2Ta

And here: www.hfea.gov.uk/donation/donors/donating-your-eggs/

Basically, expect blood tests, a transvaginal ultrasound, and counselling.

EarlGreyT Wed 13-Mar-19 10:41:50

However she has funding for two lots of treatment and twelve months to do it in.

In which case whether you can donate using the funding your sister has is likely to be dependent on criteria set by her CCG. It would be worth looking into that as a start point, but I suspect that at 40 she may well only be able to use you as a donor if she has the treatment privately (I.e. she pays).

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