Baby bombed - self care ideas(9 Posts)
I've just got home from what should of been a nice evening out with friends but instead has turned into an evening of smiling to hold back the tears of yet another pregnancy announcement. I really didn't see this one coming either.
I think we all sadly know the hollow, empty, sick feeling of being baby bombed but I was interested to hear how other people deal with and shake the feelings off. I'm finding recently the feelings are festering & its taking days/weeks to get over.
I seem to find 'switching myself off & on again' helps me, so literally going for a nap or a night's sleep. The feelings don't feel as strong when I wake up again. A bath sometimes helps but not always.
I'd be really interested to hear if anyone has anything else that helps them that I/we all can try. Sadly eating my body weight in dairy milk is not an option as I'm dieting for IVF.
No advice but I know how you feel. 2 weeks after a MC IVF pregnancy a work colleague announced in a meeting at work she was Pg. I was desperately holding back the tears, I was trapped in this room and sat opposite her. After I sat in the toilets and cried and cried when I got home. I can't say I'm dealing with it very well but I hope in time this feeling passes. Trying to focus on me and my partner at the moment rather then other people. Sorry you're going through this.
Thank you so much for your reply Lilly. I'm sat on my own in my living room having a little cry, I often wonder if I'm the only one that feels this so to know I'm not alone is what I really needed right now. Thank you. I'm also really sorry for what your going through, this whole infertility thing is a complete shit show.
Not much advice but lots of understanding. Look after yourself and let you feel whatever you need to. I have counselling which helps. Also, I am brutally honest (most of the time) about my Herculean struggles and that seems to help the baby bombs as people are more aware. Though I hate that they sometimes are scared of hurting me when they happen, too.
Just know you’re not alone in feeling like this. It’s utterly shit.
Maybe go for a small bar of something nice, or maybe trash yourself to an afternoon doing something nice. I really like exercise for taking my mind off it (even if it’s temporary)
Yep you’re really not alone and it is utterly shit. Sorry your evening out was spoiled.
I didn’t find a way of dealing with it beyond getting upset and angry. I also used to “play” guess who is going to announce their pregnancy next with my husband. We were really good at it, and I used to think it would help in some way as I’d then be prepared for the announcements. I’m not sure it actually did help especially when there was an announcement we’d really not anticipated. Ranting on line was the one thing which probably did help a bit as it made me feel less alone and like there were some people who understood.
No advice, just - it's so shit. Giving myself permission to feel all the things I was feeling, and not getting tied up in punishing myself for it, was a bit of a breakthrough. It allowed me to start withdrawing from situations and people who were causing me pain. Wishing you strength.
I felt just the same as you after my first cycle ended in miscarriage. Two colleagues announced their pregnancies with due dayes around what would have been mine. I knew if I was to attempt a second cycle I needed to sort myself out. I decided to try clinical hypnotherapy and it has been brilliant. It's helped me to acknowledge and accept the jealousy that comes from seeing other people's family grow and I've been able to wprk through that and get some peace. We've just had egg collection today and I wouldn't have been able to get to this point and mavigate through this cycle if it wasn't for the hypnotherapy and my therapist. I was sceptical but it's been worth every penny.
You're definitely not the only one, I feel the same too. Many of my friends have kids, and there have always been friends of which I though "I bet I'm pregnant before them", considering their characters and lifestyle. So when these friends announced their pregnancies it really felt like a punch in my stomach. I am honestly very happy they are expecting, but it's such a confrontational thing every time a pregnancy is announced. Deep breaths, let the moment pass, have a good cry and focus on yourself and the future is what I try. And yes, it is a massive shit show this whole infertility thing!!
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