DFiance's sperm count.

[AuntieGeek]

Morning lovelies. Had a slightly rough week compounded by an appointment to see my local private fertility specialist. Turns out that DF has a sperm count of 1million/ml (the andrologist at our local hospital described it as a ""bit low" but didn't give figures). Specialist said 1% chance of pregnancy naturally as I'm 43 and a half (six months left to use my own eggs, BMI of 32 so no way would I be OK for IVF at the mo, and we don't want that and I don't want to use donor eggs or sperm) so this leaves me in a position of pretty much never having kids with the only man I've ever actively wanted them with.

To compound the shiftiness of yesterday I get home, go to the loo and AF turns up a day earlier than the app said. First and only time I've ever cried because of that turning up...

It's more of a hand hold I'm after right now than practical advice but practical advice is welcome. What can I do to either raise his sperm count, keep my sanity, plan for a different future, tell my dad that the tiny tiny bit of hope I gave him when I met DF is extinguished and DFs mum the sad news she's never going to be a grandmother via us?

I'm normally a very practically minded person. This is outside of anything else I've experienced in many years.

Many thanks for listening.

[Rspu3]

Sorry to hear your situation op sending you hugs as I know exactly how it feels to get results like yours and your dp. Oh has 2-3million.
Can you afford to go private at all? Because if it is an option I would do that right now and start losing weight as we speak op x

[AuntieGeek]

We have gone private. IVF isn't what we want though. Did losing weight help your DH's sperm count?

[C0untDucku1a]

I thought it was your bmu that was 32? But yes him being over weight will affect chances of pregnancy.

[ChariotsofFish]

Could you try IUI it is that not something you’d want to do?

Otherwise I’d look into specialist fertility counselling as a first step towards moving on.

[Rspu3]

My oh lost weight and took supplements but it only improved his count by a million and his motility by about 30percent so it did improve but it is still severely low.
I think ivf with icsi would give you both a good chance, and if you do only have about 6 months I’d go back and discuss options x

[C0untDucku1a]

Improve your diets, no alcohol, i assume neither of you smoke if you're ttc - but if either does, stop immediately.

Your age is against you, so you really need to be absolutely sure that youd rather have no child than use IVF.

[FuzzyPixel]

There are different things that can be used for low sperm count dependant upon diagnosis, other than IVF with ICSI.

My DH had a zero sperm count but had an epididymo-vasostomy, he now had a normal sperm count.

We sought help from an excellent urologist who before the surgery tried him on Tamoxifen. There are also some great vitamin supplements on the market.

Dr Ramsay in London is amazing, I recommend a quick Google of him to look at reviews on similar forums.

Melanie Brown is a nutritionist who specialise in male and female infertility, we never used her services but I would have sought help from her an in instant if my husband's sperm count was low (rather than zero or normal).

[kikisparks]

Sorry to hear that :( is private IUI an option with sperm washing? Not sure if that might help with MFI.

[AuntieGeek]

Thoughts much appreciated. We'd stopped smoking and we'd been eating really healthily and not drunk much at all.

DF wonders if he'd basically not abstained for long enough. I think it was 36 hours before he had to give the sample. I'm absolutely not prepared to go down any IVF route and neither is he.

DF is chunky too. He also had a groinal hernia repair long before we met.

[ckc45d10]

There is also some research on CoQ10 and sperm concentration and motility. If you haven't considered already, this may be something to talk to your doctor about.

[Sigoesperando]

Hi all looking for some advice/experiences;
I had first round ivf last year, which produced 6eggs which all fertilised and 2 good quality 1of which a 9cell at day 3 I was told almost top quality. Unfortunately on day 3when i was supposed to have the transfer I had some bleeding and was advised not to go ahead and wait for day 5 but they didn’t make it, I was devastated. We are considering trying again albeit privately again so saving like mad but also wondering if we are letting our hearts rule our heads; I am 40 now and AMH was 1.2, my husband has low sperm count so it was ICSI but they had to pick the best of a small bunch that were motile.
Going by the statistics from the consultant and being told the odds are stacked against us we really not sure whether it’s worth another attempt. I can’t help thinking about what if I had the et on day 3 and that top quality egg, but as one of the medical staff said in the follow up the egg didn’t make it to day 5 so wouldn’t have been successful anyway.
I have been taking DHEA (on the consultants advice), COQ10, DHA and pregnacare Pre conception ever since the attempt 5months ago.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated x

[ChariotsofFish]

@sigoesperando You’d be better off starting your own thread, where more people will see the questions.

@auntiegeek IUI isn’t a form of IVF. It is probably worth you looking into.

[Sigoesperando]

Hi ladies sorry how do I start my own thread??
Thank you

[TheLastPharl]

IVF is your best chance of having a child. What are your reasons for being so against it?

[Weenurse]

Girl friend was advised to lose 10 kg to help her chances of conceiving naturally, her husband did it with her and they now have a son.
The other thing you could do whilst losing weight, is look at a future without children.
You could travel, do hobbies build your dream home all fo the cost of raising a child. This is not the end, mearly a fork in the road

[Goldengirlssofa]

I know how you feel. I doubt we will ever conceive but I don't want to give up hope.

[AuntieGeek]

IVF is a hard limit for me. The coat, the fact that realistically it has so small a chance, donor eggs being my best bet and what it would do to my mental health (already had a tough couple of years in years in terms of stress).

We've decided we'll give up take aways for Lent and I'll probably give up bread too. Post-production wedding may change our minds but not right now.

[ColeHawlins]

I think you are slightly misinformed insofar that the success rate with donor egg/double donor (as indicated) is really very good (~60% per cycle depending on clinic).

The good news is that you do have time to change your mind about donor gametes, shift a few stone, and still have treatment in your mid forties, if that is indeed your decision.

I was on a similar situation of being ~40 with a DH with MFI (also prior hernia op) and it really is so stressful and upsetting. We did get our joint baby in the end.

[ColeHawlins]

But you do need to think about donor sperm as well as thinking about donor eggs and be prepared to do whatever is advised if you choose to go the donor route.

You're not the only half of the partnership with a gamete challenge here. It's even possible that double donor could feel "fairer" and be a positive choice for you. It's such a personal thing, but consider everything before ruling things out.