Talk

Advanced search

New year, new 'starting the journey' thread

(1000 Posts)
CloudSway Fri 22-Feb-19 21:08:11

I know there are a lot of threads about people starting out, but they were all started a while ago and everyone seems a lot further ahead these days.

So.... newbies unite?

DH and I have been ttc for 2yrs. Saw our gp who ordered blood tests and sperm tests. He gave us a boat load of info..... jokes, he was pants. Told me I was 'fine' and husband was 'not fine', only detail was that DH has 4mil out of a necessary 16mil sperm, mentioned ivf and referred us to a specialist. That's all the info we got. Today I had a transabdominal and transvaginal ultrasound. It was not the most fun 20 mins of my life but it was fine, now I'm trying to play Sherlock and figure out what the random numbers the radiologist was shouting about my ovaries meant. How about you?

Because I'm early stages, I avoided forums/Google etc because I'm prone to anxiety and didn't want to panic unnecessarily. Therefore apologies but I'm still trying to figure out all the abbreviations and lingo! Also sorry, I'm naturally sarcastic and a bit sweary, but that doesn't mean I'm insensitive - it would be great to share stories and support each other here smile

veeboo Wed 15-May-19 21:27:37

I agree we can only take things a day at a time @GreyC. It's really hard not to worry and what if but I find my DPs way of thinking really helpful. He just reminds me that right now we know all the facts and have a plan. We just need to only think about the step of the plan we are on and not worry about the next one until we get there. It's not simple but he is right!

GreyC Wed 15-May-19 21:28:08

@2fingers; completely! It’s silly everywhere is different & I still feel that fertility is such a taboo subject and I feel like it should be hush hush especially when it comes to work.

FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF Wed 15-May-19 21:55:15

@verboo that is a really good way of putting it!

GreyC Wed 15-May-19 22:02:06

My last post men to say it shouldn’t!!! Be hush hush!!

@veeboo my DP is like that; it’s refreshing

veeboo Wed 15-May-19 22:16:50

@GreyC no it shouldn't be hush hush. What's your work like? I decided to tell mine in February and I am so glad I did but I am very lucky to have a fab line manager and a flexible job where I can work from home a couple if days. I do need to travel a lot the rest of the time but they have told me to ask if I ever need more time and obviously when we have treatment. I know this is not the norm though.

CloudSway Thu 16-May-19 08:41:45

Totally agree about postcode lottery, I didn't realise how varied it was everywhere. It's working in my favour because I'm getting through the system so quickly because my region offers nothing and not many people can afford it so waiting lists are short, sounds great but it honestly keeps me up at night that I'm inadvertently taking advantage of the misfortune of people around me, it's just not fair. Not to mention still being angry that I'm paying so much, seems so selfish of me... but paid £100 for one AMH test yesterday, madness!

Thanks for asking, I'm okay but super busy with work. So taking a trip all the way to Cambridge (1hr there, 1hr back) for a blood test is not ideal, and has made me worry how it will take it's toll when we have to go there so often for scans etc 😬 but oh had his second sperm test there too, one called a miOXSYS which is supposed to give them a lot more information than the usual so that will be interesting. Results in 3 days for both.
Meanwhile I'm using clearblue opks for first time as suggested by you all, so I can predict my period better! As I suspected, it is taking it's toll a bit on the anxiety side, esp as we usually just dtd every few days in the suspected window but we had to abstain before his S.A. and I'm becoming obsessed with the window which we both agree is not conducive to feeling sexy lol.

I'm sorry everyone seems to be having it rocky at the mo, at least there's a bit of sunshine - anyone making nice plans for the weekend? Hang in there ladies xxx

CloudSway Thu 16-May-19 08:47:15

Soz missed a whole page. Totally agree it shouldn't be a dirty secret but it's hard. If you tell people casually like it isn't hush hush, they treat it like it isn't the most important thing in the world to you, and say insensitive things. It's such a fine line, sometimes feels like you can't win

veeboo Thu 16-May-19 10:06:03

Hi @CloudSway sorry about all the travelling. Hope you're doing okay. Definitely dont feel guilty! You can't control all those external factors. And you deserve this!

It is a bit of a double edged sword with opks. Last month me and DP gained for every other day in fertile window and used the opk as a check if we needed an extra go. It helped last month at least.

I started with them today but think I have a few days to go until positive.

veeboo Thu 16-May-19 10:08:36

Aimed not gained!

2fingers22018 Thu 16-May-19 12:41:38

@CloudSway and @GreyC i knw i used to wonder why ppl were soo secretive about infertility until i was in this position its not that your ashamed i just dont want ppl asking insensitive and intrusive questions..but then i feel alone cause i cant open up you cant win at all!

CloudSway Thu 16-May-19 14:47:17

That's exactly right. I'm telling a good chunk of people that are quite quiet so they just listen and don't bring it up unless I do, I could be offended that they never ask how I am but actually it's better that i just use them to offload, works for me because if I keep things to myself I get worked up. Do you have just a few ppl you can rant at?

2fingers22018 Thu 16-May-19 14:54:08

@CloudSway to be perfectly honest in RL no everyone i know is at a stage in their lives where they have kids so they just cant relate at all..they try to but i feel like u need to be in this situation to fully sympathise. I work with some younger people aswell who im friends with but theyr all young free and single out clubbing and pubbin everyweekend so they dnt understand either lol thank god for u girls listening to me rant x

veeboo Thu 16-May-19 16:19:57

@2fingers22018 I really feel for you. And I think you're right @CloudSway it is hard to get the balance right. When I first started telling friends I became totally infuriated with people asking me if I was pregnant, and saying it would happen if I wasnt so stressed despite me telling them the real issues. One friend even made me try her alcoholic drink to prove I was t pregnant. But since then I have started telling a small number of those people how that's made me feel and setting out what does and doesn't help. It means opening up and being vulnerable but its helped and it's a bit of a better balance.

2fingers22018 Thu 16-May-19 16:47:01

Ive just seen a new thing destruction therapy i honestly think this would help me!😂smashing up stuff and visualising what your mad it..screaming into a pillow just isnt cutting it anymore lol

squirrelnutkins1 Thu 16-May-19 22:36:52

@2fingers22018 😂 that sounds fun!!! Sign me up!

CloudSway Fri 17-May-19 08:20:40

My cousin is going to marry a guy from Poland, we were talking wedding traditions and apparently there's one where the guests all break as much glass as possible on the groom's front lawn and the newlyweds have to clear it up.... sucks to be them, but sounds like you need to get yourself a polish wedding invite! 😂

squirrelnutkins1 Fri 17-May-19 11:02:41

Oh wow! Wonder what the origin/meaning of that tradition is!!

Does anyone get ovulation pain? I had twinges on my right side last month and left yesterday and today. I'm grasping at straws really! Hoping it is that but in reality I'm thinking it's another cyst forming. Negative nelly that I am 😂

squirrelnutkins1 Fri 17-May-19 11:03:01

Ps. Happy Friday to everyone 🎉🎉🎉

veeboo Fri 17-May-19 11:29:27

@CloudSway that sounds bonkers (and a recipe for blood all over a wedding dress!). @2fingers22018 we've got a load of concrete in our garden that needs breaking up if you want to come round? We were going to pay a labourer!

@squirrelnutkins1 sorry if I have missed this but what CD are you on? Are you in the tww?

squirrelnutkins1 Fri 17-May-19 11:39:31

I'm on day 16 so according to my app I'm in the fertile window but I've had a history of not knowing if I do ovulate/one set of bloods showed late ovulation. Maybe I should take the pain as a good sign?! Wish I could have my bloods checked every month 😂 @veeboo

VenusStarr Fri 17-May-19 12:53:21

Happy Friday smile

@squirrelnutkins1 I'm cd17, think I'm in the tww but not entirely sure that I did ovulate despite all the promising signs 🤞

Had all my tests come through - ultrasound, hsg and a hysteroscopy (sp?) am absolutely petrified 😢😔 really hoping I won't need them but reality is I will...

Had my first counselling session this week. She's lovely, I basically told her everything that's in my head and she said it seems I'm mentally exhausted. Sounds about right. Everything in my head is ttc or babies or pregnancy. When we booked the follow up session I said oh ill know whether I'm pregnant or not by then 🙄doing my own head in!!

Sorry your referral letter was upsetting @squirrelnutkins1 💜 any news on an appointment?

Hope you're all OK. Sorry I'm struggling to keep up. Any nice plans for the weekend? Xx

squirrelnutkins1 Fri 17-May-19 13:30:35

@VenusStarr ooh I really hope so xx

When are you tests? Try not to be too scared but think of it as another step in the right direction (easier said than done!). But yeah, here's hoping you won't need them 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Glad you could offload on her. When are you back again? Did she give you any coping strategies? Thanks hun. No word on the appointment, it was just a copy of the referral letter.

Going out for a nice meal with another couple so looking forward to that. They're the same age as us and have 4 kids 😳 all but one were surprises 🙄🙄🙄

Hugs xxx

Kelly199 Fri 17-May-19 13:38:53

Really sorry if I miss anyone, trying to catch up. Seems as though I've missed a lot!!
@VenusStarr hoping you've ovulated this month! 🤞🏼
Glad you have someone to talk to about everything. It's good to get it off your chest!
Hopefully you'll have good news 🤞🏼 xx

@squirrelnutkins1 hope you'll ovulate!! Fingers crossed for you xx

@CloudSway sounds great, although it sucks to be them 🤣🤣 lol. Hope you're ok xx

@2fingers22018 destruction therapy sounds great right now xx

@FinallytakingtheplungewithIVF hope you're doing ok with the injections xx

@veeboo @GreyC hope you're ok xx

Hope everyone else is ok. Sorry if I've missed anyone xx

Kelly199 Fri 17-May-19 13:43:55

Didn't see your last msg until now @squirrelnutkins1** and @VenusStarr yes forgot to ask when your appts are?
Try not to worry, although, as @squirrelnutkins1** said, easier said than done!! Xx

@squirrelnutkins1** Hope you enjoy your meal.
Annoying isn't it how people can have many 'surprises', yet here we all are praying for just one!! Xx

2fingers22018 Fri 17-May-19 13:50:15

Dont forget the new thread everybody this1 is closed now🎉woohoo new thread lol

This thread is not accepting new messages.