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Fourth IVF

(21 Posts)
Busybea66 Mon 28-Jan-19 21:08:59

I was just wondering if there is anyone on here who is going through a similar journey to me.

I’m am currently on my fourth IVF cycle and I’m struggling to be positive. The first cycle resulted in our DS who is now 3.5 and amazing. We desperately want a sibling for him though. The second and third we had ICI frosties. The second one we thought was unsuccessful but it turned out to be positive and an ectopic. It resulted in a serious medical emergency when it erupted and I was lucky to survive. Despite this, we seen that as a positive because technically the treatment worked, it was just unlucky to be an ectopic. However, here we are on our fourth treatment and I’m struggling to be positive. We’re going for a fresh cycle again but this is our very last treatment regardless of the outcome. I just can’t face it anymore. I’m 39.5 now and I feel we just really need to get on with our lives after this treatment.

Despite the success we’ve had, I’m seriously struggling to be positive or excited about this treatment. The buserelin is beginning to make me feel a bit down too and my work is horrendously busy (I’m a secondary school head of department), all of which is contributing to the situation. I really need some inspiration.

Just wondering if anyone else has a similar journey going on or if anyone else has had a similar journey with a positive outcome.

twinkledag Tue 29-Jan-19 11:09:33

Me.

I have 4 yr old DS and 4 transfers since which have failed (1 ended in mc which was utterly heartbreaking).

Where are you having your treatment?

Hobbes39 Tue 29-Jan-19 14:16:34

Hi @Busybea66 - I don't think you should beat yourself up for not being positive - especially on buserelin!
I have now had 7 IVF transfers in total - 4 fresh, 3 FETs. I've had some
'Success' (1 CP, 2MMC) This last fresh cycle i only agreed with my DH that we would do on the condition it was our last one as I just can't keep doing this to myself. I found t hard to give up as we have got a little bit further each time... but I'm 42 soon and as you say, there comes a time you just can't keep going.
So I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant with this last cycle. It wasn't our best cycle numbers wise so I went in feeling pretty meh about it all and was feeling pretty gutted that we only got 5 eggs. But we got 2 v good quality embryos at day 3 and put them back.
I was so unbothered by it all that I didn't mind that my DH couldn't come to the transfer - just went along, had them put back and then carried on my day. But somehow we've got over the first hurdle. I've not had a 'top' quality embryo before so might be that, who knows?

Anyway - I'm a now total nervous wreck as it's last chance saloon here, and time is going so slowly, and I'm all too aware that raised hopes can be dashed so quickly, but just wanted to say that my lack of positive attitude appears to have had bugger all impact on the cycle. Whether it continues or not we will see, but do t feel you have to be all positive all the time. IVF is shit. Repeated IVF is shitter. None of us should have to go through this, but hopefully we will get our babies in the end. X

Hobbes39 Tue 29-Jan-19 14:18:01

Hi @Busybea66 - I don't think you should beat yourself up for not being positive - especially on buserelin!
I have now had 7 IVF transfers in total - 4 fresh, 3 FETs. I've had some
'Success' (1 CP, 2MMC) This last fresh cycle i only agreed with my DH that we would do on the condition it was our last one as I just can't keep doing this to myself. I found it hard to give up as we have got a little bit further each time... but I'm 42 soon and as you say, there comes a time you just can't keep going.
So I'm currently 5 weeks pregnant with this last cycle. It wasn't our best cycle numbers wise and I went in feeling pretty meh about it all and was feeling pretty gutted that we only got 5 eggs. But we got 2 v good quality embryos at day 3 and put them back.
I was so unbothered by it all that I didn't mind that my DH couldn't come to the transfer - just went along, had them put back and then carried on my day. But somehow we've got over the first hurdle. I've not had a 'top' quality embryo before so might be that, who knows?

Anyway - I'm a now total nervous wreck as it's last chance saloon here, and time is going so slowly, and I'm all too aware that raised hopes can be dashed so quickly, but just wanted to say that my lack of positive attitude appears to have had bugger all impact on the cycle. Whether it continues or not we will see, but dont feel you have to be all positive all the time. IVF is shit. Repeated IVF is shitter. None of us should have to go through this, but hopefully we will get our babies in the end. X

Busybea66 Tue 29-Jan-19 19:01:29

Hey twinkledag, we're having our treatment at Nuffield in Surrey. I've actually realised it's our 5th IVF not 4th. We are lucky to have children already, some people are worse off than us. I'm sorry yours ended in mc. Are u thinking of trying again?

HavelockVetinari Tue 29-Jan-19 19:10:00

Oh @Hobbes39 I'm crossing everything for you! flowers

Busybea66 Tue 29-Jan-19 19:19:21

Hobbes39 I'm so happy you're 5 weeks in, my fingers and toes are all crossed for u. You've just reminded me that the worry doesn't go away, even if u get a bfp. The 12ww is excruciating, and must be even more so if you've had previous bad experiences. It really is a roller coaster of a ride from start to finish regardless of the outcomes. My work is driving me slightly mad which is adding to my mental state. The constant drive for GCSE results with students who seem determined to fail is leaving me drained. I feel like it's drowning my enthusiasm for our final IVF. It's encouraging to hear motivation didn't affect your treatment.

gentlyscented Tue 29-Jan-19 19:26:56

Not me. But my db and sil are very similar to you. Got ds with first cycle, used Frosties 2nd time mc at 7 weeks, 3rd cycle didn't stick. 4th time was a fresh cycle and they've just found out their expecting twin boys. Stay positive op, wishing you the very best of luck.

Busybea66 Tue 29-Jan-19 19:31:04

Twin boys; that's brilliant!!!! They must be elated!! I'm hoping that a fresh cycle is going to make a difference to us too. We're also having two embryos put back this time, this will be the first. So again, something else to hopefully improve our chances.

Millionsofthings Tue 29-Jan-19 19:37:48

Big hugs to anyone going through this journey!

We had 5 IVF treatment each one from scratch and never any frosties or sniff of a positive.... I was not positive at all and didn’t really feel I wanted to do round 5... but it worked and we now have Ds!

So round 5 and feeling no positive vibes it still can happen!!

I won’t say keep posted but just keep going!! Good luck!

Millionsofthings Tue 29-Jan-19 19:38:12

*Sorry keep positive

gentlyscented Tue 29-Jan-19 19:42:32

Their oven the moon! This was their last chance too, it's really taken it out of my sil it's been horrible to see. They chose to have the 2 strongest embryos transferred hoping it would double their chances 🤭 and it worked!! I could burst with excitement for them 😁

gentlyscented Tue 29-Jan-19 19:43:18

Over not oven lol

Busybea66 Tue 29-Jan-19 19:44:21

Aww; that's really encouraging. Well done to u and thanks for sharing your experiences. It's lovely to hear how other people have coped and even better to hear of their successes. I'm only at the start of this cycle, so have a few more weeks before I will know if it's been a stickler or not. It's funny how most of us are reporting to have a ds and not dd!!

Millionsofthings Tue 29-Jan-19 21:20:51

Busybee66

Yes funny! I am sure I read somewhere in the past that ivf pregnancy’s resulted in more male births that female births!

Smidgen15 Tue 29-Jan-19 21:39:43

Me too 🙋‍♀️

I had my DS (now 3.5) on my 4th cycle. I had 2 miscarriages on cycle 1 and 2 plus DS was a twin which we lost. I massively hyperstimulated after getting 38 eggs and DS was born 7 weeks early.
But when DS got to 2.5 we decided we really wanted a sibling for him so we save a little and used the CC to fund another cycle. The clinic (although wont admit it) massively cocked up and blasted me too quick with the stimming drugs, did EC too early. I only got 12 eggs (for me is a low number), 10 were immature and none fertilised. We were gutted.
We were then in limbo as we said only 1 shot and if it failed, we would continue as a trio but we felt robbed of a chance altogether so here we are, just about to do another cycle on the CC (really not comfortable with how we are funding it)

Im trying to stay positive, i even said to hubby today that i thought this cycle will work. But thinking about it, it probably wont.
Good luck all

Busybea66 Tue 29-Jan-19 23:38:58

Smidgen 18

Don't be disheartened. None of us can predict our outcomes including you. I keep fluctuating from thinking it's gonna a positive outcome to the opposite, and this happens daily.

All we can do is our best. Whatever that is at the time. Keep plugging on and try to keep faith. The money factor is a big concern for me too, but if it works out won't it be well worth it.

Smidgen15 Wed 30-Jan-19 08:34:21

It sure will, which is why im going to try one last time. It will financially kill us, but we have plans in place if we find ourselves in trouble...
What will be will be and if it doesnt work, im ok with being a trio 😊

Busybea66 Mon 11-Feb-19 18:17:46

Hello ladies, just wondering how your cycle has been going?
I'm having egg collection on Wednesday and starting to feel really positive and even excited. Really focused now and desperately hoping for the best. Everything has been smooth so far.

RedPandaFluff Mon 11-Feb-19 19:49:50

Good luck, @Busybea66!

I'm having some tests before I start my fourth donor egg cycle (need donor eggs due to having none of my own). It's been pretty grim so far - six excellent quality blasts transferred with only a chemical pregnancy to show for it.

We'll do a fourth and a fifth and then we'll stop. I can't even think about how that will feel though . . .

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 12-Feb-19 14:27:21

Hi. Congrats on twins

Op / it took 5 ivf to get my one ever bfp in 10yrs of ttc

We said we would do 2 fresh cycles - both private due to df having children in 20’s

Both failed in uk and we stopped due to pain of failure and tbh finance and think was just 40

A year later I said I wasn’t ready to not have a chance of being a mum
But we went abroad - cheaper and tbh I think their technology is way advacnced from UK plus their freezing techniques better

3rd fresh cycle failed but had better quality embryos and think 6 to freeze

4th fet failed but the 5th Another fet implanted

I had an era which said my lining wasn’t receptive on the usual day of ivf and needed extra progynova

5th worked - I was almost 44 when gave birth and dd is 2 next month

I know it’s easy to be positive when ivf finally works - and I was distraught and so down and tearful when previous 4 failed

I think I was more blasé about the 5th - so didn’t do the things indidb1-4 - like eat protein - nuts - fresh pineapple - keeping feet warm etc / you try anything when people say I did abc and got preg after ivf

We even booked a holiday 3mths after to lick wounds again

But as I said 5th worked

And went on holiday - sober - in the shade - throwing up non stop as had hg

But wouidnt change a thing smile

We would have done another 3 fet if 5th failed and we said we would have stopped then - but I know deep down I couldn’t have - and I would have wanted to try a cycle of donor eggs as a last option

Several friends in their 40’s have used de as said they could only afford one cycle and successful first time

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