No it didn’t happen in the UK. She asked me to come work in her country for the summer, and I did. My parents were under the assumption her husband was giving me a job. There was no job. They paid for my meals and let me stay at their house but the money at the end of the treatment was supposed to be for my “work”, inconvenience, the fact I couldn’t enjoy my holiday as I was taking fertility meds. I can’t truely describe the situation. I lived with them in their tiny apartment despite other family members asking me to come visit and stay with them. Her husband controlled my diet, what I ate and drank, for 6 weeks. I do not eat beef but was given steaks to eat to keep my iron up. He would take the skin off chicken before I could eat it. I was given raspberry tea after raspberry tea despite being so warm in a country much warmer than the UK. I had to wear long sleeved tops so as other family wouldn’t see bruises on my arms for having my bloods done.
The mother was very upset about needing eggs, and she made it quite clear that they would be taking dna from her so that the baby would be a part of all of us. There wasn’t the same access to the internet then as there was now. I was very young, very naive. The clinic they used recommended a phsyciatric evaluation which they were both very concerned I wouldn’t pass but they got that swayed. I didn’t have to do it.
I am just so angry they completely blindsided me, took advantage of me, lied to me, manipulated me and then infringed on my parents privacy just so he could meet his child’s blood relative.
They cannot expect to have so much control or knowledge about my health and about my life.
The child deserves to know the truth, I don’t think she knows already but there is absolutely no denying she is besotted with me to the point I’ve had to block her because she is so needy with me. On occasions I have answered her FaceTime she just wants to watch tv with me. She calls me all the time, New Years, Christmas, birthdays, the weekends and she doesn’t understand that it’s a different time or I’m out with my friends. She keeps calling and calling.
Her other sibling will say hi but isn’t interested in chats. Her mom rarely speaks to me and her dad would speak to me a bit. But he seems to want to talk about me being like her, or her being like me. Whereas the mother completely ignores the fact the donation ever happened, like the agreement was supposed to be. He compares our features, our hair, our noses, our toes. He tells me all the things she likes that we share interests in. I was once talking about an arguement I had with my boyfriend at the time and mentioned my temper and he said “I know your temper so Well! I live with it every day.”
I believe everyone deserves to know who they are and where they come from. It would not be so hard if she didn’t look exactly like me. I look at her and it’s like looking into my soul. I feel wretched. It wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t seem to like me so much, If there was no connection, but there is. That little girl is 50% me and I don’t owe them anything. I will not ruin her childhood but I think once she is old enough I will tell her exactly who she is.