Hi. This is first time I have openly spoke about my troubles to anyone other then my family and friends. Myself and my husband have been going through IVF for 8 years now. I have PCOS and do not ovulate or have periods so IVF was our only option. We have had 7 failed attempts resulting in 3 ectopics (2 ruptured tubes) so both have now been removed and then this week I miscarried. Each time I go through IVF I end up in hospital either with OHSS or ruptured tubes or this time a miscarriage. Each time it's scary dramatic and heartbreaking. We have no children. Our life's have been shattered again. Now I know ppl will tell me I'm young I have time on my hands (blah blah blah) however I don't and can't hear that. Our lives revolve around each other and wanting so desperately in becoming parents. I look at my husband and see the hurt and want in his eyes. I want him to become a dad and I already feel like a mum but with no child to mother. We still have 5 embryos left and I know it's far too soon to make a decision if we will try again. However I don't know how much more heartache I can take. I am strong and so is my husband it only hits me how much we have been through when the consultant/nurses/docs read my notes and look at me with sadness and say how do I keep going I've been through so much...we've tried counselling however they can't give me what I want which is a baby. We have spoken about adopting or even a surrogate however looking into surrogacy is a mine field and to be fair so adopting. I feel I can't give up just yet on carrying our own baby however I also feel I'm going insane by trying the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I'm not even sure what my question is apart from would you carry on? Would you keep trying? Or would you simply call it a day and look at another alternative?
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Infertility
IVF - 3 ectopics 1 miscarriage- do I keep fighting?
KimmyB1986 · 21/12/2018 23:10
I’m so sorry 
a single miscarriage is heartbreaking but to go through what you have- you are a very brave, strong person.
Nobody here can tell you whether to keep going. That is the hardest question and one I’m not sure how I’ll answer if the first 3 Ivfs don’t work, as I don’t know if we’d afford a 4th (I’m still to be put on the waiting list for number 1). I think it’s just a continuing process of thinking about it and discussing with your husband.
I liked the Netflix documentary “one more shot” but if you’re feeling raw it will be a tough watch, it might help to see others go through the same kind of difficulties or it might just be upsetting. They show people who created their families in different ways and it made me feel optimistic at the time, as I’d do anything, but my husband has since ruled out any option other than a baby that is genetically ours. It may be a good idea to have some gentle discussions with your husband about this and see what page you are both on.
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