Egg sharing

(24 Posts)
Donnas146 Wed 28-Nov-18 20:25:03

Hi has anyone done egg sharing me and oh have had a talk about it today and going to decide if egg sharing is a possibility if our one round of ivf doesn’t work on the nhs. I know it’s a big decision so just wondering has anyone else had done this? My reasons are financially it’s a lot cheaper to have ivf with icsi if we are going to egg share and also always said I would donate my eggs if me and oh had a child through ivf or naturally ( been trying for 7 years due to male factor infertility) so I am thinking this would benefit us and also benefit another couple or few hopefully

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DaisyMay25 Wed 28-Nov-18 20:40:39

Hi @Donnas146 I'm in exactly the same boat, not due to start ivf until about March but if that doesn't work we're looking at egg sharing to get the cost down.
I'm happy to help people who cannot have child to carry and have their own children but my main concern if that when they turn 18 they can know where the egg came from and I'm not sure how I feel about this.
Let me know how you get on with this but fingers crossed the first round works!

Donnas146 Wed 28-Nov-18 20:49:32

Exactly how I feel! @DaisyMay25
We were talking about it earlier and I said I don’t know how I feel about that. I thought donors were anonymous until I researched, but I have always wanted to egg donate
I would love to help other women conceive after going through this journey knowing the pain it causes and knowing I’ve helped other women/couples have their chance at having a baby would bring me so much joy
But I don’t know how I’d feel about them being able to contact me after 18years, I thought maybe a lot of couples don’t actually tell their children they are donor!? Me and oh are going to do more talking about it and it is a option if our round on the nhs doesn’t work, we are only in the process of being referred to more fertility testing at the hospital now so have a long way to go yet, hope your ivf goes well for you hun can I ask are you having ivf? Or ivf with icsi? X

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DaisyMay25 Wed 28-Nov-18 20:54:48

@Donnas146 my thoughts exactly, I won't feel any connection and I wouldn't want to take anything away from their actual parents so I wouldn't want them to come find me.
I guess they don't have to tell them, I wouldn't expect them to if they used my eggs, they carried the child so it's there's more than mine.
Hopefully they don't drag out your testing. We got referred in September so it'll be six months from referral to treatment which is pretty good.
We're doing ICSI so to bad SA all round.
I'm terrified to start ivf though, they never tell you have hard it is conceive!
I'm assuming you'll be needing ICSI too?

Donnas146 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:00:02

Yes! I’m assuming from what I’ve researched as it’s male factor infertility very low counts all around for oh
Been trying 7 years and never had a bfp what area are you if you don’t mind me asking?
I’m from the Walsall area of West Midlands so will probably be referred to Birmingham women’s for ivf. From what I’ve googled it will take about a year from testing to starting ivf. I’ve had internal scan abdominal blood tests and all come back normal. Is it the same for you?
I’m also terrified! I have anxiety which doesn’t help and has got worse since ttc, but we women are so strong and even though it really does scare me I know I will get through ivf anything to have a child x

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Donnas146 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:01:14

Oh and yes I agree that’s why I’m on the fence as to wether it is going to be an option in the future

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DaisyMay25 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:12:27

We've only been trying 18 months and had a mc early on but had scans done as I was still in pain six months afterwards so I had already had a lot of tests done before we was referred and all mine come back fine.
I go to Yorkshire fertility clinic and they're lovely. We've got an open night to go to in a few weeks that explains everything properly and we meet doctors and nurses and couples in the same boat and that have gone through it already then an appointment two weeks later to decide to go ahead then they said two-three months after that so we're just waiting now.
I have anxiety too but the clinic offer counselling which I might have to start using soon.
Hopefully it's as quick for you too! x

DaisyMay25 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:13:29

@Donnas146 I think I would do the egg sharing though as for some people it's the only way to have their own children, you get to find out if any children are born for it and I can imagine that's a nice feeling

Donnas146 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:18:21

I hope everything goes well for you and you get your baby X
So sorry to hear about your miscarriage do you have mfi aswell?
I always sort of thought there was a problem with me too even thought oh has severely low count but I’ve been to an endocrinologist today and everything is normal with me. I am excited and anxious about starting ivf
Anxiety is shit isn’t it 😄 I’ve had it years and cope better with it now, I think to myself I’ll have anxiety either way with or without doing ivf so might aswell go for it if I can.
Yes I think I’m gearing more towards egg sharing too as I’d love to help others. Do you think you will go for it too? And do you know how many rounds you get of ivf where you are? Think we only get one go from what I’ve tesearched x

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DaisyMay25 Wed 28-Nov-18 21:47:37

@Donnas146 the doctor said it's unlikely we'll conceive naturally again due to the SA but didn't say he's infertile so not sure
We probably will if we need to but going to see how this round goes first and we're going to freeze any embryos we can to use next time before doing the whole thing again.
We only get the one so it just feels like a lot of pressure x

Persipan Wed 28-Nov-18 22:28:35

Just to say, as someone due to be an egg share recipient soon, I will 100% be telling any child I'm lucky enough to have about their origins. There are certainly people out there who plan not to tell, but to me it's only fair to that child that they should know something that fundamental about themselves - and only fair to my donor that her wonderful and generous gift should be acknowledged.

I think my advice would be, really think it through and make sure you're comfortable with each aspect before deciding - maybe having some counselling would be helpful?

Justwaitingforaline Thu 29-Nov-18 10:43:33

Hi OP, I start egg sharing ICSI next month. We’re Male factor infertility and decided to egg share, partly to bring down cost but also because after going through 2.5 years of struggling to conceive, I want to do anything I can do help someone else also suffering with infertility.

Donnas146 Sun 02-Dec-18 14:03:10

Hi @Persipan I started this thread to just see who else was thinking about it and those who are going to have donors so your input is so appreciated! I am looking into it and just doing my research and me and oh have spoke about it but he has said he doesn’t think he would be comfortable with a child being able to possibly look up my name and turn up at the door in 18 years time if we were to egg share. I’m stuck on it as I really always wanted to donate no matter what the outcome of ivf is for us, It is also because the costs are a lot cheaper I won’t lie and say that’s not a reason too. I’m still undecided as if it was anonymous completely I would be al for it, but then again if it were me and I was a child of egg donation I would want to know my origins to. It won’t be until we have had a round on the nhs thst we will sit down and properly discuss this and make a decision anyway. Good luck to you I hope it all goes well for you X

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Donnas146 Sun 02-Dec-18 14:06:17

Hi @Justwaitingforaline! Thankyou for your reply, can I ask how do you feel about donating? I mean in the future that a child may contact you?
It’s such a lovely thing to do! And I too would die happy knowing I’d give other couple/couples the chance at having a child x

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Donnas146 Sun 02-Dec-18 14:07:48

And I’m so sorry to hear about your struggle I can relate completely! I’m trying to see ivf as something to look forward to and hoping it will overcome my husbands mfi and give us a child but I’m terrified aswell! Can I ask is this your first go at icsi? X

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Justwaitingforaline Sun 02-Dec-18 20:02:03

This will be our first go at ICSI, yes. I’m really excited to donate. I’ve always planned on doing so once our family was complete, this just means I get to do it as part of our journey instead smile. If someone who was conceived using my eggs contacted me when they were older and wanted to get to know me, I would welcome it with open arms but I would never instigate it or go looking for it - the way I see it is that I am simply giving someone a chance at having a family which they can’t do without donor eggs. My husband feels the same and we both did implications counselling together. As part of the application process, I had to write a goodwill message to any donor conceived children which they can access at 16 if they so choose. I also had to write what felt a bit like a dating profile which was show to people on the waiting list - luckily I was chosen 3 days later and get my treatment plan this week smile

Donnas146 Sun 02-Dec-18 20:29:34

I’m excited for you @Justwaitingforaline!
That’s so lovely! And do the recipients of the egg get to see a photo of you or anything?
I’m really just researching about it right now so sorry fo the questions 😄
Please let me know how everything goes good luck to you sweetheart I hope you get your baby X

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Justwaitingforaline Mon 03-Dec-18 11:57:54

No, no photo, just the pen portrait I wrote about myself and basic info which the clinic provide - they pick you based on those things smile there’s a small chance you may be in the clinic at the same time on egg collection day if they’re using fresh sperm rather than frozen but you still wouldn’t know who each other are. Feel free to ask any questions, I’m more than happy to answer!

Thank you, I’ll be sure to update you along the way if you’d like me to?

Kel85 Wed 05-Dec-18 12:12:21

Hi @donnas146 we are almost at the end of an egg sharing cycle. Collected 19 eggs on monday. It was really easy for us as i knew i didnt need all 19 so could give a lady the opportunity she needs to have a family. We will never meet her or know anything about her, and the eggs i donated would of otherwise just gone to waste. Praying and crossing everything right now.

RonRon1 Sat 23-Mar-19 19:28:41

Hi Everyone
I am so glad to find this thread. I am in the same boat want to share regardless as at one point the dr thought we would need a sperm doner as my husband had extremely low sperm count. I feel it would be the most amazing thing to donate having gone through our struggle to conceive. We need ICSI and I wondered if u guys would mind sharing how much it brought down the cost of ur treatment as we are having to re mortgage to get the money for IVF. Thanks in advance xxxxx

Sammy04 Mon 01-Apr-19 20:29:08

Hi Ladies, I just wondered if anyone had any experience of egg sharing at Birmingham women's hospital?

PrayingandHoping Tue 02-Apr-19 08:55:27

@RonRon1 I don't know the details but I saw a rolling screen at the clinic we used that said the egg donor in an egg sharing arrangement had their treatment entirely paid for. The clinic is Herts and Essex Fertility. I'm sure there will be details on their website.

Mrbay Thu 04-Apr-19 12:49:03

Hi all
I am about to start the IVF process and I keep re-reading the section about egg donation.

How do they know if your eggs would be suitable for donation?

Now IVF is now a possibility, I really need to give this some serious thought as I am completely torn.

Nataliena Sat 20-Apr-19 13:01:26

Mrbay - they do usual fertility tests, I think most people who ovulate normally are abke to donate, there's a minimum number of eggs for sharing, usually 8. Some clinics will proceed with free IVF for you if it's under 8 but the majority will either abandon the cycle or ask for the full cost.

It's interesting reading this post, to see different people's thoughts on being contacted by a donor conceived child.
I donated twice, around five years ago, resulting in one baby boy. I'm now considering egg sharing myself, using donor sperm and so could end up in the position where my child wants to find their sperm donor whilst my (second) egg recipient's child wants to find me at the same time! hmm All strange to think about, but I'd welcome any contact in either scenario. It's got to be better for the donor conceived offspring to have the choice to learn more about their genetics when they're older, and it doesn't change who the parent

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