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How do you cope?

(2 Posts)
Bexicle22 Wed 28-Nov-18 00:28:49

I have unexplained infertility. In other words, there’s something wrong with me but nobody can tell me what it is. We were trying actively for almost two years and then gave up and decided to take the “relaxed” approach and have done for the last 6 months or so but still nothing.

I have been pregnant before. Twice. One resulted in my now ten year old daughter. Both times I’ve been pregnant, it was due to missing one pill. I’ve not been on contraception for over two years now and still not even had a hint of pregnancy so clearly something is wrong but after having all tests done on both of us, nobody can tell us what the problem is.

I am of course very fortunate to have my daughter however she is not my partner’s biological child. I know deep down in my gut that if it was going to happen, it would have happened by now. Getting pregnant twice off simply missing one pill then being unable to get pregnant at all after not taking any contraception for years, it speaks for itself really.

We can’t afford IVF and of course we don’t get any help because of my daughter. The fertility specialist said IVF would be our only realistic option for treatment. I wouldn’t consider surrogacy as it’s just not for me. So it seems that I will never have a baby with my partner.

Some days I don’t think about it. Some days, like today when yet another period comes, I do. Sometimes I wish there was a reason for my infertility so that I could at least have a plan of what treatment to have or something I could try, or even just be able to say “well it’s X and that’s why it isn’t happening” so that just adds to the frustration really.

I know a lot of you have been trying much longer, are still trying and/or are going through fertility treatments but are any of you in a similar position to me? Knowing that you aren’t going to ever be pregnant? How do you get past that? How do you cope? I’m over trying to stay hopeful because it does nothing to help me in any way. I’m just seeing a lot of people announcing pregnancies and newborns at the moment and it gets to me sometimes even though I try to just get on with it.

Sorry for the essay. Just feeling a little rough (and it’s not just because of the period cramps!)

Justwaitingforaline Wed 28-Nov-18 08:03:06

Hi OP, I remember you from the yammers threads flowers

Have you considered egg sharing? Eg donating your eggs at the same time as having your own IVF treatment? It heavily reduces cost, if not making IVF free and for me, also means I can help someone else in the same awful infertility boat - we start IVF with my next period

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