Overwhelmed and emotional

[Lxx16]

Yesterday I had my first gynaecologist app regarding the next steps for fertility tests. We've been TTC now for 12 months, off the pill for 14 with what would be our first.

I went alone (OH got stuck at work) and I'm so overwhelmed by it all I don't really know what to expect. They've given me three blood tests (day 2, day 21 and rubella) and two scans (pelvis ultrasound and HSG). They've also sent my OH for testing too.

I went home and explained everything to him and felt really down and emotional about it. Not sure he understands how I'm feeling and he just doesn't get it. I was then getting ready to leave this morning for work when I got a text from my MIL saying how chuffed she was that we were wanting a family etc and that she couldn't possibly want a better mother for her grandchildren - which is lovely and it totally caught me off guard. So I just sat and sobbed on the kitchen floor. (I've also not told my family yet).

Think I've overreacted and I'm just extremely emotional anyway (CD 5 and just coming to the end). Anyone else at this stage and don't know what to expect next or anyone been through it now and can shed light on the scans etc. I was told last night but I was that overwhelmed it hasn't gone in!

Sorry for long post! Just needed to get it off my chest x

[LillyLeaf]

I think hitting the 1 year mark is really hard, I felt like that, totally overwhelmed and generally pissed off that this was happening to me. It's normal to feel this way, you are not alone. Chances are you may still conceive naturally but I also think it's a good idea to try and get your head around what might be next. I was very fearful of IVF but actually reading up about it and understanding more it is doable (not saying you'll get to that stage). But for now just focus on the next steps... The tests, once you have the results you'll have a better idea of any issues. Not sure if any of that helps sorry

Has your OH told his mum?

[Lxx16]

@LillyLeaf No it does help, thank you! I just felt like my whole world had come crashing down last night as they threw everything at me! I'm hoping it's something simple (although taken 14 ovulation teat in September and October and all negative).

The dr mentioned IVF and to start reading up but did say it wasn't that scary.

I'm guessing so, even though I told him how I felt he keeps his feelings very close and is a closed book. He would have rang her this morning to get his feelings off his chest (he wouldn't want to burden me with it - that's what he usually says). I don't mind her knowing at all but I think it's now real. It's no longer just us in our little bubble and it's that which I'm struggling to get my head round x

[LillyLeaf]

Sharing your thoughts on these threads is a great idea as we often don't have anyone in the real world to talk to about this (or don't want anyone to know). I found listening to 'The Fertility Podcast' really helpful to almost normalised infertility because it is 'normal'. I think 1 in 8 couples experience problems with fertility, which is a lot of people but we just don't talk about it so it can feel very lonely and like you're the only one. It's really is important to keep checking with your OH about how you both are feeling because this is tough.

[Lxx16]

@LillyLeaf thank you. 2 of my friends are 16 weeks (within 3 days of each other) so cant really share it with those. They don't get it.

I've been reading through quite a few and thank you for that! I will have a listen to it. I didn't realise that statistic!

I will, he's just not very good at sharing his feelings but we'll get there! Thank you again x

[MonkeyToucher]

The procedure was slightly different in my area, but I can shed a bit of light on next steps. We went to the GP at 12 months and had the 3 blood tests you mention and sperm analysis done. They showed nothing wrong with either of us so we were referred to the fertility clinic at our hospital. Had our first appointment and was booked in for the scans. From initial gp appt to fertility referral took 3 months.

In our case I never got to have the scan as I got pregnant naturally that month! It was cycle 15 so don’t lose heart, it can still happen! I was totally convinced there was something wrong with me, but hearing the consultant say how common it was for healthy couples to take over a year to conceive was like a huge weight lifting...

I am now pregnant with DC 2 which was a happy accident (using natural cycles to try and avoid pregnancy - it didn’t work!) so if you are planning more children I just wanted to reassure you that taking a bit longer first time doesn’t necessarily mean it will be the same for a second

Good luck x

[Lxx16]

@MonkeyToucher thank you so much for this! I've had a few days to get my head round it and I do feel a lot better generally!

The dr said that to me too, but you still get yourself in a mess! We won't give up trying every month anyway but I'm going to stop using the ovulation kits and it was driving me potty!!

Congratulations!! And thank you again, so reassuring x