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To dread what should be a happy event !

(4 Posts)
movin Mon 29-Oct-18 21:23:44

I've posted this on the wrong board - so going to try again here!!

Heading home for Christmas this year, I'm an ex pat. Normally get so excited for this and can't wait.
Starting IVF next week, with a view to egg collection done before we leave. I'm getting desperately worried about spending the time around mine and DH's big families/friend circle. Many of who, have children we haven't met yet, so there will be lots of expectations to meet the new baby etc. Lots of family parties planned etc.
Dreading all the you better get cracking if you want kids insensitive comments or the you must have focused on your career assumptions. Could I realistically hide at my mum and dads for 4 weeks ..... or do I just need to grip ?!

MrsK1087 Mon 29-Oct-18 21:37:07

Hey
Firstly hope that your treatment goes well! Having been doing IVF for a couple of years now, Christmas can be tough particularly if you are feeling you "have to" be sociable when you aren't really feeling it.
I would say keep any arrangements fairly loose so you can cancel if you have to once you're hear. Following egg collection (depending on how close you have yours before travelling) it's quite an anxious time anyway waiting to hear about fertilisation rates and you may just want to be at home with your parents.
All I'd say is don't push yourself, this is just another Christmas for everyone else but for you it might be challenging, don't be afraid to be selfish and take the time you need xxx

movin Mon 29-Oct-18 21:50:23

The difficulty will be we've not been home for 2 years, so we can't cancel plans or avoid people without looking rude. I know my mum will be really supportive. But it's the bigger family I'm concerned about. Have never got on with DH's family. They think I'm a snob, so all eyes will be on as to why I've not given my DH children yet. Egg collection all going well should be 2 weeks before we travel. So hopefully we'll be over the worst.
Tacking a beach holiday on the end of our trip to get a much needed rest before then next step. Good luck with your journey !

Cherries101 Mon 29-Oct-18 22:35:53

I think personally you should spend the 4 weeks with your family and let DH manage his. Post ET can be a very emotional time — the last thing you need is idiot family making it worse.

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