IVF and new job help please!!

(11 Posts)
Sunshine19 Sun 28-Oct-18 19:29:02

Hi can anyone advise..I start brand new job tomorrow and I’m nervous about starting and learning something completely different. Also, I had my first IVF consult last week and the nurse says I should expect treatment to begin in January. Great! But my training period is still ongoing then and not sure if I should tell my new employer??
I’m not sure how they would take it? My man tells me I’m working for a ‘real’ company now and have the full support of a union which I’ve never had before. I’m anxious about the time off for appts and have no idea what protocol I’ll be on until I get my AMH results.
Thanks for reading xox

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Viletta Sun 28-Oct-18 19:41:32

Hi, I said that I am expecting a planned minor surgery around the time of my retrieval. I worked a week from home before that and took a day off for the transfer. Went pretty unnoticed in the office. If you can place the scan around your working hours, you will only need two days off. I would however make sure you take more time off if you need it, IVF might be emotionally exhausting.

Soontobe60 Sun 28-Oct-18 19:46:30

You've got coup,e of months to make yourself the best employee they have ever seen! Also, you'll get a better idea of how well the IVF thing will go down. It's not just about the treatment, it's about the resulting pregnancy and maternity leave. Not all companies are so enlightened and may be reluctant to employ you once your training contract ends.

Sunshine19 Sun 28-Oct-18 19:49:17

Thanks for your reply @viletta! Was your boss ok when you said you needed time off? If you don’t mind me asking how was your IVF? Yeah, the nurse did say I should take 2 weeks off during tww. I don’t think I’ll tell my employers until I get an official date for IVF. Crazy how nothing happens and then it all happens at once 🙄 I wouldn’t have cared if it was my last job tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️ Xox

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Sunshine19 Sun 28-Oct-18 19:52:33

Thanks @soontobe60!! Your right! Great advice I’m going to work like the clappers in the meantime! My friend also works for the company I’m joining and when I told him about potential IVF date he says “it’ll be alright, women get away with anything in our company.” 😂 took it as banter fortunately xox

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Goandplay Sun 28-Oct-18 19:59:32

I really wouldn’t say anything. I don’t think there is any official legislation for IVF treatment.
Previously I worked for Barclays and they were beyond wonderful. They gave me all my appointments full pay, tww and told me to take any time needed for emotion rest as sick leave.
Worked for a housing association and with pressure they allowed me to build up time in leui for my appointments and I got my GP to sign me off for tww. They said they would do that once, the next time I took it unpaid but they were unhappy about it but I didn’t like the job so took the risk.

I would try to work the appointments as best as I could and take annual leave?

Good luck!

Sunshine19 Sun 28-Oct-18 20:21:55

Thanks @goandplay yeah I’m coming to wait and see what happens with the date then go from there. Hopefully at that point I’ll have finished my induction period and the shifts vary from days to back shifts so might not need too much time off work for appts! How was your IVF? Nurse told me everyone is different so trying not to get my hopes up too much! Xox

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JeNeBaguetteRien Sun 28-Oct-18 22:14:03

Congratulations on the new job.
I started a new job last year and had IVF 3 months later.
I didn't tell my work, I didn't have many appointments and did any scans first thing.
It was really tricky as I did have one scan that really clashed with an important work event, I was able to rearrange that one.
Unfortunately that cycle was cancelled as I didn't respond well to the drugs. Next cycle I said I was on a waiting list for a minor op which covered egg collection and the day after, so I took 2 days sick leave.
I booked annual leave for test day as I was supposed to go to my hospital for a blood test. Unfortunately AF started the day before test day. I was very glad to have the day off, tbh I just lied in bed crying.
I'm doing IVF again and still not telling work, although they do allow time off for IVF appointments I'd rather not tell them.

I'd concentrate on proving yourself and making a good impression, and hoping that the friend you told keeps your conversation to himself.

If you are lucky enough for your first round to work, which I hope you are, you will be happy and will figure out what to do about work. If not, you haven't had to tell them.
Of course you may find they are very supportive etc but I would see how the land lies before going in and telling them immediately.
Also I do know 1 person who booked the TWW off on 2 IVF cycles. Personally that wouldn't have worked for me, I was glad to be in work having the distraction.

Goandplay Tue 30-Oct-18 08:19:56

I was always told you didn’t need the tww off. I did usually take it off. I offered to return to work at Barclays but they said they didn’t want me there, they’d prefer me at home resting. But as pp said the days are long in tww.

My first round was fine, I was young and not expecting it to work. I was also fortunate to have that round through the NHS.

The second and third rounds were stressful. I needed extra drugs as my body wasn’t responding as much as they wanted. The middle cycle didn’t work and that just seemed to floor me. I wasn’t expecting to feel as bad as I did. I felt very lonely.

I can’t complain because I have children and the time, effort, trauma etc are a memory.

The cycle that didn’t work was the only cycle I didn’t have weekly hypnosis. It’s so relaxing it can’t be bad and I do think you mind plays an element in the whole thing.

Cherries101 Tue 30-Oct-18 08:55:20

I started a new job during IVF and just booked a few half dayas for monitorkng, 3 days from EC, and the day of ET off as soon as I knew the dates.

Viletta Wed 07-Nov-18 12:46:07

Hi, unfortunately my first attempt failed. I was very happy I didn't tell at work, it would have been extra stressful to tell another person that it failed and I wouldn't have been able to hold myself I think. I'm sure my boss would have been supportive. I don't think you need 2 weeks off, the wait is long and work might be a welcome distraction. However make sure you put yourself during that time and do take time off if you feel like it. Good luck! I hope it works for you!

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