FET this coming monday, anyone joining me?

(33 Posts)
Catren Wed 24-Oct-18 13:28:00

I'll be doing my second FET after a freeze all cycle in September and a failed FET attempt last month. Strong positives then it all ended on 16dpo. We have 4 frosties left, all pgd/pgs tested so should be good to go. My fs is worried about an implantation issue so did an endo scratch on cd4 and has given me clexane (blood thinner) to inject after the transfer.

Looking for a bit of a hand hold, I'm not as optimistic this time after my first cycle and kind of planning for the worst.

Ovulated today so start progesterone pessaries on Friday, then transfer on Monday 🤞

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StillLikeAirIRise Thu 08-Nov-18 08:00:59

Hi catren, I'm so sorry to read this update. My embryologist said after the last cycle that it was "text book" and how lucky I was to get beautiful top quality embryos- which I am, I'm well aware how many embryos aren't suitable to freeze, but it's hard to be happy about a text book cycle when it's just a BFN on the test day.

I get that it doesn't matter how many beautiful embryos you have if they don't implant, and that's going to be your overriding fear going forward. I hope this isn't the case and it's simply the statistics of how many IVF cycles fail with bad luck that it's the two that start for you.

Ultimately we all know IVF is a numbers game, but hope means that we all pray that we're the ones that get pregnant that cycle.

Look after yourself and best of luck for next time

Catren Thu 08-Nov-18 00:21:10

It's all over for us this time. Bfn from beta today. Glad I haven't told many people in rl this transfer as I can't really bear the thought of having to give the bfn update again. Wondering whether our chances have now gotten smaller with two failed attempts. Feeling definitely to blame for all this, something is wrong with me that our "beautiful" embryos are not sticking. Vent vent vent. Not sure how I'll cope with the next few months with some important family births on the way. I'd hoped to be pregnant before they happen but that's looking unlikely. Apparently the clinic's counsellor will be calling me in the next few days, and writing all this down makes me think I need it. Thanks for all your support ladies x

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Catren Tue 06-Nov-18 21:11:34

We have three left now, and it doesn't look like I'm able to carry them. I'm feeling pretty down about that and the possibility of wasting the remaining three we have. I guess we'll find out soon what the next steps will be. I know I'm very early in the ivf journey compared to others but it doesn't make it easier knowing others have it harder.

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Bananacloud Tue 06-Nov-18 12:55:20

You have 4 embies left. Don’t lose hope xx

Catren Tue 06-Nov-18 11:56:38

cariad my fingers are firmly crossed for you that everything continues to go well. The anxiety must be terrible until you get to 12w.

I've had another bfn with fmu this morning. I'm 8dp5dt so 13dpo. I've had my cry and am trying to prepare myself for the negative beta on thursday. It's all such bs!

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Cariad2017 Mon 05-Nov-18 08:29:00

CatRen - mercifully I’m not bleeding but UTIs can trigger miscarriages if they become kidney infections, and I’ve been feeling so grim that I’m worried that it could have spread. I had a scan on Thursday (before the while UTI debacle) and all was fine, but I’m very conscious that at 10 weeks they can’t see a huge amount.

I haven’t had immunes done myself, but I know those who’ve had them done for repeat miscarriages and who’ve had positive outcomes.

Botanica - Sorry you’ve had such a torrid time. Taking a step back for a little while in your shoes sounds like a sensible plan. I shall definitely be rooting for you if you decide to take the plunge and do another cycle next year.

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Catren Mon 05-Nov-18 00:56:26

Gosh Botanica that sounds like such a rough ride. I am starting to know what you mean about losing yourself into a fug of sensitivity and jealousy, I feel like a bit of a sadder person than I used to be. I can't imagine how it feels after 4 cycles. It sounds like a brilliant idea to give your body (and mind!) a rest for the next few months and work on feeling better and more yourself. It might be quite a relief not working towards a baby for a little while. I felt that when we started IVF, as I suddenly wasn't responsible for it anymore, it is the embryologist and fertility consultant in charge now! Considering donor eggs must also be so difficult, is it a complicated process? I really hope this time helps you to figure it all out.

I am wondering if a bit of a break over the next few months might be a good thing for us, particularly over christmas. My egg count is still pretty good for my age (36), although I'm not sure if age comes into the implantation rate as this seems to be our problem.

I've brought my blood test forward to thursday rather than friday this week, so they can put me out of my misery! I said as much to the nurse, who gave me the line "you never know!" but I can't stand the optimism - I'd much rather expect bad news than raise my hopes and have the huge disappointment.. on the phone with the nurse.. Sorry that was a bit of a digression..!

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Botanica Sun 04-Nov-18 21:51:43

Thanks @Catren

This last round (fourth cycle) had so much promise as I had a really good EC, but we ended up with no blastocysts to transfer.

Taking stock right now and having some time off from it all, despite the age pressures (I'm 40). My body and mind can't take any more right now and I've had to step down from my job as they can't accommodate any more time out from me. I'm looking at it as a gift to myself to recover and get myself fit, healthy and strong again, and detoxed from all these hormones.

Deciding whether to attempt a fifth round next year, despite the chances of success being so low now, or consider the donor egg route. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet so using the next few months to give it some thought. Affordability is a whole other issue...

It's the emotional aspects I'm finding toughest. I don't recognise who I've become - exhausted, oversensitive, and occasionally angry and jealous. It's horrible and it's not who I am. The rest from it all will do me good, I know it.

I'm a bit lost really, not really fitting in anywhere and floating around wanting to feel part of something, rather than a lonely failure....

Hopefully I can come back to it all in the new year with some fighting spirit!!!

Catren Sun 04-Nov-18 21:35:49

Thanks botanica and cariad, i try to stay positive but need a big fat vent so thanks for humouring me.

cariad the consultant said that if it doesn't work she'll look into immune system issues. The scratch and blood thinning medication were a last ditch attempt before we do more investigations. Have you had those ones done? Not sure what they involve or what the treatment is. This clexane jab is really painful so I'll be happy to see the back of them. Really really hope your scan goes well. Sorry you're dealing with a UTI, that's rough. And sorry you're worried about miscarriage, are you bleeding? How have your scans been so far? X

botanica I'm sorry you're still here, while its awful to be passed by i also don't wish this on anyone! How are you getting on?

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Cariad2017 Sun 04-Nov-18 20:39:49

So sorry to hear this CatRen. Whilst I’m still clinging onto the hope of late implantation for you, I can only imagine how deflated you must be feeling right now. It must be so frustrating to watch people come and go on these threads. It strikes me as a very cruel lottery. There often seems to be no rhyme or reason why a particular round will work for some and not for others. Currently curled up in bed with a UTI and dreading either a miscarriage or a devastating 12 week scan, not least as I doubt we’ll be quite as lucky with IVF next time round.

If this FET doesn’t work, will your clinic do more investigations around immune/ implantation issues?

Botanica Sun 04-Nov-18 20:03:41

Still rooting for you @Catren. You're not out yet.

I get you completely on being the one still left on here after others move on with their BFPs. It's a lonely feeling.

I'm still lurking despite the last round failing again, and whenever I see yours and a few other names I recognise from previous threads come up again, I'm secretly wishing you extra special good luck. 

Catren Sun 04-Nov-18 19:52:09

Bfns yesterday and this morning. I'm now 7dp5dt so think it really should be showing up with a faint line by more if it worked. God this is so disappointing.

Thanks cariad, I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. It's bad enough seeing the ttc folk all come and go, but now all the old infertility team have passed me by as well! I know it's not a race and I shouldn't compare myself but I'm so over the disappointment.

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Cariad2017 Sun 04-Nov-18 18:32:15

How’s it going Catren? I’m rooting for you. Xxx

Bananacloud Fri 02-Nov-18 21:00:04

Hi? I just wanted to wish you luck if you’re doing a test this morning. Fingers crossed!!
But don’t be disappointed if it’s bfn cuz it’s still early days xx

Catren Thu 01-Nov-18 23:44:32

Sorry I'm in Australia, so it's already Friday (tomorrow) here!

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Bananacloud Thu 01-Nov-18 22:27:44

But you said you’re not going to start testing till tomorrow..? Personally, I think it’s very early to start testing, you’ll just end up feeling deflated. Just hang in there. Btw, did you use fmu?

Catren Thu 01-Nov-18 22:13:22

Bfn today! I had a faint bfp at this point last month so not feeling hopeful. I'll poas again tomorrow obviously. Bought 10 frers cheaply from ebay so not costing a fortune.

I'm planning some travel with work in a few weeks so there's something to look forward to if this fails again.

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Bananacloud Thu 01-Nov-18 19:07:31

Eeeeep!! Exciting days grin
Sending baby dust your way xx

Catren Thu 01-Nov-18 10:58:42

Thanks banana, it was pretty rubbish.. 😩

Sore boobs have started, and a bit crampy today, but otherwise feeling nothing! I'm going to start testing tomorrow (4dp5dt so 9dpo equivalent) and I'll keep you posted.

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Bananacloud Wed 31-Oct-18 11:31:05

I’m so sorry that happened to you. But I’m sure experiences like that make you stronger.
Gosh, you sound like me regardin having to know everything. What day you thinking of doing actual test? You feeling any different? xx

Catren Wed 31-Oct-18 09:17:38

I'm kind of pleased i got my positives though last cycle before it failed, as it showed it tried and implantation might be an issue. It also helped me take the news from the nurse as the day of the blood test my second line started fading. I'd had strong lines on frer and a bunch of digital bfps. The nurse called and said I had an hcg level of 36, which is officially pregnant but not looking good, and i might have held out hope over the weekend rather than come to terms with the loss. But that's obsessive me. I need to know everything that's going on! Exciting that you're starting your next fet!

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Bananacloud Wed 31-Oct-18 07:54:53

I know it’s mad. But I think reason for that is, in case you test and get a false positive. So I suppose we should always be prepared for the worst. I go fir my injection on the 7th to start fet and then 2 days later will be your test. Be here before you know it xx

Catren Tue 30-Oct-18 23:53:04

I have to go in for the blood test on Friday the 9th. I'm definitely not waiting that long though to poas! They actually expect us to wait for the nurse to call with news. Wtaf.

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Bananacloud Tue 30-Oct-18 22:27:42

Aww at least you’re keeping mind busy. When’s otd?

Catren Tue 30-Oct-18 21:27:05

Thanks banana, I rested quite a bit last cycle and that didn't work! I figure that was my implantation issue rather than rest though 😉

I'm trying to keep distracted with work and looking after my 3yo dd, although getting a good night's sleep is proving tricky with her having a terrible cough. Just want the days to pass quickly!

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