FET this coming monday, anyone joining me?

[Catren]

I'll be doing my second FET after a freeze all cycle in September and a failed FET attempt last month. Strong positives then it all ended on 16dpo. We have 4 frosties left, all pgd/pgs tested so should be good to go. My fs is worried about an implantation issue so did an endo scratch on cd4 and has given me clexane (blood thinner) to inject after the transfer.

Looking for a bit of a hand hold, I'm not as optimistic this time after my first cycle and kind of planning for the worst.

Ovulated today so start progesterone pessaries on Friday, then transfer on Monday 🤞

[CritterTamer]

@Catren I had the endo scratch this time around and got my BFP last Friday - I think it helped me. Now 15dp5dt and just desperately hoping it continues to stick. It’s so hard to keep hopeful after a failed cycle! I’m also now on Clexane due to a nasty dose of OHSS - be warned the jabs are horribly painful, far worse than stimming 😢

[CritterTamer]

PS good luck for your FET on Monday - I hope you get your BFP 🤞

[Catren]

Hi critter thanks for replying! Congrats on your bfp, really hope it sticks. I didn't know clexane had anything to do with ohss, that sounds rough, it's why i did a freeze all as i was definitely at risk.

I had no problem with my gonal f but found my trigger really painful, as the drugs went in, and left a big red sore itchy patch. Is that what I'm looking at here? How long do you have to do the jabs for? Funny how the nurses keep quiet about how painful some of the drugs are..!!

[CritterTamer]

@Catren yes they did not warn me to expect these to hurt so much! I find that they cause an intense pressure and burn8ng sensation whilst injecting, and it’s hard to get the full amount out. The burning and aching then continues for about 30 minutes afterwards.No rash though. Hopefully it’s just me and you will have a better experience. I’m on it because I had late onset OHSS due to the pregnancy and my blood was thickening so the clexane will help think the blood to protect the embryos and also prevent blood clots for me. I’m on it until my first scan on November 5th.

Good luck for Monday 🤞

[Bananacloud]

Good looks for tomorrow @catren.

[Catren]

Thanks critter and banana, the transfer is all done and I'm home now. It all went smoothly, more talk of "beautiful" embryos and hopefulness, but I'm not convinced!

I'll probably start testing on Friday (4dp5dt) or Saturday (5dp5dt) but will try to keep a balanced head even if I do see those two lines again. My batch of 10 frers are coming in the mail today so I'll be fully prepared!

[Bananacloud]

Get plenty of rest. I did for whole 2 weeks and I got my bfp baby is 10 months old now.
I’m having another fet in early December hopefully xx

[Catren]

Thanks banana, I rested quite a bit last cycle and that didn't work! I figure that was my implantation issue rather than rest though 😉

I'm trying to keep distracted with work and looking after my 3yo dd, although getting a good night's sleep is proving tricky with her having a terrible cough. Just want the days to pass quickly!

[Bananacloud]

Aww at least you’re keeping mind busy. When’s otd?

[Catren]

I have to go in for the blood test on Friday the 9th. I'm definitely not waiting that long though to poas! They actually expect us to wait for the nurse to call with news. Wtaf.

[Bananacloud]

I know it’s mad. But I think reason for that is, in case you test and get a false positive. So I suppose we should always be prepared for the worst. I go fir my injection on the 7th to start fet and then 2 days later will be your test. Be here before you know it xx

[Catren]

I'm kind of pleased i got my positives though last cycle before it failed, as it showed it tried and implantation might be an issue. It also helped me take the news from the nurse as the day of the blood test my second line started fading. I'd had strong lines on frer and a bunch of digital bfps. The nurse called and said I had an hcg level of 36, which is officially pregnant but not looking good, and i might have held out hope over the weekend rather than come to terms with the loss. But that's obsessive me. I need to know everything that's going on! Exciting that you're starting your next fet!

[Bananacloud]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. But I’m sure experiences like that make you stronger.
Gosh, you sound like me regardin having to know everything. What day you thinking of doing actual test? You feeling any different? xx

[Catren]

Thanks banana, it was pretty rubbish.. 😩

Sore boobs have started, and a bit crampy today, but otherwise feeling nothing! I'm going to start testing tomorrow (4dp5dt so 9dpo equivalent) and I'll keep you posted.

[Bananacloud]

Eeeeep!! Exciting days
Sending baby dust your way xx

[Catren]

Bfn today! I had a faint bfp at this point last month so not feeling hopeful. I'll poas again tomorrow obviously. Bought 10 frers cheaply from ebay so not costing a fortune.

I'm planning some travel with work in a few weeks so there's something to look forward to if this fails again.

[Bananacloud]

But you said you’re not going to start testing till tomorrow..? Personally, I think it’s very early to start testing, you’ll just end up feeling deflated. Just hang in there. Btw, did you use fmu?

[Catren]

Sorry I'm in Australia, so it's already Friday (tomorrow) here!

[Bananacloud]

Hi? I just wanted to wish you luck if you’re doing a test this morning. Fingers crossed!!
But don’t be disappointed if it’s bfn cuz it’s still early days xx

[Cariad2017]

How’s it going Catren? I’m rooting for you. Xxx

[Catren]

Bfns yesterday and this morning. I'm now 7dp5dt so think it really should be showing up with a faint line by more if it worked. God this is so disappointing.

Thanks cariad, I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself. It's bad enough seeing the ttc folk all come and go, but now all the old infertility team have passed me by as well! I know it's not a race and I shouldn't compare myself but I'm so over the disappointment.

[Botanica]

Still rooting for you @Catren. You're not out yet.

I get you completely on being the one still left on here after others move on with their BFPs. It's a lonely feeling.

I'm still lurking despite the last round failing again, and whenever I see yours and a few other names I recognise from previous threads come up again, I'm secretly wishing you extra special good luck. 

[Cariad2017]

So sorry to hear this CatRen. Whilst I’m still clinging onto the hope of late implantation for you, I can only imagine how deflated you must be feeling right now. It must be so frustrating to watch people come and go on these threads. It strikes me as a very cruel lottery. There often seems to be no rhyme or reason why a particular round will work for some and not for others. Currently curled up in bed with a UTI and dreading either a miscarriage or a devastating 12 week scan, not least as I doubt we’ll be quite as lucky with IVF next time round.

If this FET doesn’t work, will your clinic do more investigations around immune/ implantation issues?

[Catren]

Thanks botanica and cariad, i try to stay positive but need a big fat vent so thanks for humouring me.

cariad the consultant said that if it doesn't work she'll look into immune system issues. The scratch and blood thinning medication were a last ditch attempt before we do more investigations. Have you had those ones done? Not sure what they involve or what the treatment is. This clexane jab is really painful so I'll be happy to see the back of them. Really really hope your scan goes well. Sorry you're dealing with a UTI, that's rough. And sorry you're worried about miscarriage, are you bleeding? How have your scans been so far? X

botanica I'm sorry you're still here, while its awful to be passed by i also don't wish this on anyone! How are you getting on?

[Botanica]

Thanks @Catren

This last round (fourth cycle) had so much promise as I had a really good EC, but we ended up with no blastocysts to transfer.

Taking stock right now and having some time off from it all, despite the age pressures (I'm 40). My body and mind can't take any more right now and I've had to step down from my job as they can't accommodate any more time out from me. I'm looking at it as a gift to myself to recover and get myself fit, healthy and strong again, and detoxed from all these hormones.

Deciding whether to attempt a fifth round next year, despite the chances of success being so low now, or consider the donor egg route. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet so using the next few months to give it some thought. Affordability is a whole other issue...

It's the emotional aspects I'm finding toughest. I don't recognise who I've become - exhausted, oversensitive, and occasionally angry and jealous. It's horrible and it's not who I am. The rest from it all will do me good, I know it.

I'm a bit lost really, not really fitting in anywhere and floating around wanting to feel part of something, rather than a lonely failure....

Hopefully I can come back to it all in the new year with some fighting spirit!!!