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Given up- donating eggs?

(16 Posts)
Lilypad15 Tue 09-Oct-18 09:22:10

After two years of ttc with unexplained infertility, I’ve decided to move on and accept that it’s not going to happen for me.

I’ve considered donating my eggs for a long time but decided to ttc a bit longer “just in case” but I’ve still not got pregnant so I think now is the right time to start thinking about actually donating. I would rather someone use my eggs successfully rather than them going to waste every month.

Has anyone donated? Or know anyone that has? Or has anyone used donor eggs? I have zero issue with the idea that someone somewhere may end up having a baby with my eggs while I couldn’t, I would rather help someone going through this like we all are.

I keep reading about how they are desperate for donor eggs in this country but there are SO many obstacles. I contacted two different clinics asking would I be eligible to donate as I have type one diabetes running in my immediate family. One said I wouldn’t be able to donate and another said I would.

I’m just looking for any info or stories any of you have RE egg donation.

Cinnabunbun Tue 09-Oct-18 09:34:43

Would you be looking to donate as a way of financing your own IVF? I know a few people who have done this successfully. They had a very low cost IVF cycle in exchange for donating half of the eggs collected. I think the criteria was mainly age and personal health related. Some genetic conditions ruled people out like MND but others like family history of certain cancers didn't rule them out. If you are nearing the cut off of 35 yrs old then they might be more picky

jemimafuddleduck Tue 09-Oct-18 10:09:32

Hi @Lilypad15
I'm sorry to hear of your troubles ttc. I know what a horrible experience it is.
Is there any way you could try ivf/iui? Are you eligible on the nhs?
I think it's lovely that you are considering helping others. I'm due to be having ivf soon via egg donor - I have diminished ovarian reserve so highly unlikely to conceive naturally. From a personal point of view I'm indescribably grateful for people who donate their healthy eggs.
I know that they are very strict with who they accept though.

Lauren83 Tue 09-Oct-18 10:22:14

It's lovely you are considering this I have a baby from donor eggs myself and if people didn't donate people like me wouldn't have a chance of a family so thankyou for considering this. Have you had any investigations that have shown a possible cause for your infertility? As your investigations for egg sharing if you weren't ruled out on the genetic questionnaire may throw up some reason for you struggling to conceive and it may turn out to be something that you can work around? Like a PP said if you haven't tried anything bar TTC at home would you not look into assisted conception for yourself first? You could tie it in with egg sharing like mentioned

Lilypad15 Tue 09-Oct-18 14:36:58

Thanks ladies. We had all the fertility investigations possible done. Everything is “completely normal” with both me and my partner. I mean, clearly there IS something wrong but it’s not something they’ve been able to find anyway. All my hormone levels etc are all perfect and I have a good ovarian reserve. I’m 29 so would like to make a move soon rather than putting it off as the older I get, the less use I’ll be to anyone lol

In terms of IVF, we did consider it. I did also look into egg donation as a form of helping fund a cycle. After a lot of research and thought, I decided I don’t want to do it. The success rates are so low and I don’t think I could go through the disappointment after spending a significant amount of money if it didn’t work. There’s always a chance it would but there’s more chance of it not and I’m not much of a risk taker! My fertility consultant said that with “unexplained” infertility, clomid and icsi wouldn’t help us to conceive so IVF would be our only other option. I have a 10 year old dd from a previous relationship so we’re not eligible for any goes on the NHS.

Every month that goes by when my period shows up yet again makes me sad for myself obviously but also that it’s just a waste. There’s nothing seemingly wrong with my eggs. I’m healthy, don’t drink or smoke, no allergies or health issues. There’s obviously something wrong in there that’s stopping me from getting pregnant so someone may as well have my eggs since I’m not using them. I would love to know that someone somewhere that has been going through this hell too could finally have a chance at being a parent because I was able to give them something they needed.

Lauren83 Tue 09-Oct-18 18:09:11

If you really have made your mind up then I understand but it's a lot to put yourself through doing an altruistic donation when you want to complete your family yourself, there will be the same amount of appointments and you will be having an egg collection so it seems such a shame to not give yourself a chance.
If your ovarian reserve is good and your partner has no male factor you could be looking at around a 40% chance of success at your age. If you are worried about funding it then you could always do 2 alt donations and then there would be a £1,500 would cover your egg share cycle, you would need to ensure you got a good response though to be able to egg share. Another thing to consider is if you were ruled out to donate and your partner has a good SA and no MF would he consider sperm sharing as your IVF is free then. If your mind is fully made up though ignore me smile

AlphaBravo Tue 09-Oct-18 21:29:06

OP I was the same for 12yrs (not even joking with that number). Then I did Keto and ate full fat dairy, high protein etc for 6 months after my 30th birthday and something changed with the balance of my body. My hair changed, my body hair changed, my skin changed, my overall 'smell' actually changed. My cycle dropped from 29 days to 27 and suddenly I was pregnant. I found out at exactly 4kws when I went in for a scan pre IVF.

BeaCat Wed 10-Oct-18 07:52:53

I have to agree with Lauren83, once you've done everything you need to do to donate your eggs you're 80% through the ivf process anyway, why not go that extra bit further and give yourself the chance of having a baby? I know you'd still have the emotional and financial side to contend with but it could be worth it?

hoping2018 Wed 10-Oct-18 07:54:16

It sounds like you're an ideal candidate for donating eggs (though I'm not sure on the type 1 diabetes - type 2 is more genetic than type one so I'd be surprised if it rules you out!)

Are you aware though that donating eggs basically involves the hardest part of ivf? All the drugs for weeks on end and then egg collection / then you'd give them away? Seems silly to not then five half away and try ivf for you and your partner with the other half?

Others may disagree and say the waiting/disappointment is the hardest part but as someone who ivf has worked for (second cycle) I'd do it all again many times over!

Ohluckyme Wed 10-Oct-18 09:29:03

The more goes you have at IVF the more the odds go up that it will work you know. It’s not a 30 percent chance of working over all. He’s a link to a calculator created by Aberdeen university which gives odds over up to 8 cycles (two different calculators for pre and post ivf)

w3.abdn.ac.uk/clsm/opis/home/toolintro

welshweasel Wed 10-Oct-18 09:31:26

Aged 33 we were given a 50% chance of ivf working on the first round (our clinic have excellent results for that age group) and we were indeed lucky. I echo what others have said, once you’ve got as far as egg collection you may as well carry on as that’s the hard bit done.

SleepyMcEdie Wed 10-Oct-18 09:33:42

It took us 2 years to conceive my DS, no reason why, all tests were normal.

The month we were successful I used a Clearblue fertility monitor. They are about £100 but I used it again a few months ago and got pregnant in the second month. Now 16 weeks pregnant. I swear by it for telling me the exact day I was most fertile.

Could be worth a shot.

Ohluckyme Wed 10-Oct-18 09:34:48

Sorry it’s up to 6 cycles. So at my age and my issues, over 3 cycles, there would be a 68% chance I would have a baby, and over 6 cycles there would be an 85% chance. I hope I don’t have to have that many cycles though!!!

Ohluckyme Wed 10-Oct-18 09:36:23

SleepyMcEdie there’re great for people with no issues but are a bit of a waste of money for most people on the infertility boards.

SleepyMcEdie Wed 10-Oct-18 14:31:35

@Ohluckyme I know they probably don’t help people with most issues but just sharing that it worked for me. We had been ttc for 2 years and test had come back showing I wasn’t ovulating in every cycle but everything else looked normal.

Ohluckyme Wed 10-Oct-18 14:54:55

SleepyMcEdie Glad it worked out for you xx

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