Infertility shock! Dealing with the news

[HMJ19]

Hi all,

I'm currently a bit she'll shocked.

My Hub and I are both 28 and started TTC back in January. Since coming off the pill I have had no AF and have since been diagnosed with PCO. We have been working through the tests to be referred to fertility and I've not been too worried. We are going, healthy lifestyles etc. I assumed it would happen eventually and we might just need chlomid or something to help us.

My OH had his analysis back the other day and his morphology is only 1%. The GP basically turned round and said we could keep trying but he didn't think it would happen for us naturally and ICSI might be our only option. He said we would both have difficulty individually but together it is her unlikely.

To be told this after trying for such a short time and still relatively young has completely floored us both. I'm overthinking everything, like the fact we would only get 1 round of IVF. How would we afford another go if it fails?

Now this was the GP we are still awaiting our fertility specialist appointment (month and half away still). Am I panicking prematurely? Has anyone had a similar prognosis and could share their experience? Please help, feel so overwhelmed!

[Bananacloud]

Hi. We’ve had icsi and it was an incredible journey resulting in our 9 month old daughter. Everybodies journey is different, and you won’t know yours until you start it

[TubeTop]

Do not despair. You are young, you have lots of options and it's truly amazing what science can accomplish these days.
The best thing in your favour is your youth. You have time and science on your side x

[Pumpkin18]

Me and my DH also have male factor which means it is very very unlikely we will conceive naturally. Only option for us therefore is icsi. We don't get any rounds on NHS due to my age (37) so we are planning going to the Czech Republic for our first round as it is much cheaper!

[Verbena87]

Just to say you’re in a good position finding out now, and not in another 5 years or so when time's not on your side.

We had ICSI as part of PGD so slightly different situation, but I got pregnant on our first try.

You’ll be reeling from the shock but honestly, knowledge is a good thing and will allow you to make better decisions.

[HMJ19]

Thank you everyone. I know we are in a relatively good position still. It's all just a bit of a shock.

It's lovely to hear positive stories, I have seen a few actually during my research. I think my GP was probably a bit heavy handed with us, I'll try and keep calm until we see the fertility specialists. Hopefully if they can at least get me ovulating maybe we will have a chance still and if not at least there are so many options available.

I really appreciate all your responses.

[PurpleFlower1983]

My DH’s morphology was only 1% and he changed it over 3 months with diet, supplements and lifestyle changes.

[Kay2705]

Hi there,

Your story is so similar to mine. Been trying since January and wondering why it wasn't happening went for some test to find out my DH has 1% morph. At 27 and 28 It was such a shock and we desperately want a baby: I tried him out on some fertility proxeed to help but it didn't help much. My DH is extremely healthy as he's an athlete and takes all the multivitamins under the sun.

we decided to go for treatment straight away so we are starting ivf with icsi in a few months. I also have a small fibroid as well so we sharing the problem.

[sandytoes84]

What a shock for you to process, I’m so sorry you have to cope with this. You will be so much stronger and braver than you ever knew you could be - I promise! The specialist will be able to give you a much clearer picture, hopefully soon. Try to do the things you enjoy as much as you to take your mind off the waiting - there is a lot of that involved! Good luck xx

[LauraHeart321]

I've never posted on here before but reading your post has struck a chord with me as I could have written it myself!! My husband and I were trying for two years before I decided to see my Dr who, after a million tests, discovered I had PCOS. I wasn't too concerned but last September we found out my husbands sperm also only had 1% morphology.

We were so shocked and absolutely devastated as we were young, fit and healthy and really didn't think this could ever happen to us!! The Dr basically said the chances of us having a baby together naturally were non existent so it was just absolutely awful. We were referred immediately to Care Fertility who said that we would need to have ICSI and we qualified for one free round. My husband had to have a special blood test to see if he carried a faulty gene and that took two months to come back but luckily that was OK and we started the injections middle of January this year and now we're about five weeks away from meeting our baby girl!!!

I know it's a big slap in the face now but it will get better, make sure you communicate all of your feelings to your partner and listen to him as well. It hit my husband pretty hard as he felt like he was "letting me down" which is obviously ridiculous as we both had our issues.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts xx

[Willow4987]

Hi OP,

We struggled with unexplained infertility which resulted in a successful round of ICSI on the nhs - so have hope, it can work.

It can take a little while to get to the stage of starting any treatment (almost a year in our case from being referred by the GP to actually starting treatment) so hopefully this will give you enough time to process the news

However what I really wanted to say was that I found a really helpful book which is written from a husband and wife’s different perspectives in their journey through infertility and IVF. I found it really helpful to breakdown some of the very confusing and overwhelming feelings/processes and general science stuff so that I felt more in control and knowledgeable when undergoing treatment. It also helped me to understand what my husband was feeling and vice versa and some of the writing is laugh out loud funny at times which helps to lighten what can be a stressful subject

I wish I’d found the book earlier as it walks you through typical tests and what happens when - which by the time id found it, id already been through a lot of the pre-treatment tests.

It really helped me to feel prepared mentally for what could happen

It’s called get a life: his and hers survival guide to IVF

It’s on amazon and I can’t recommend it highly enough

I hope your journey is successful, whatever route you take