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Starting a new job and IVF at the same time. Is it possible?

(10 Posts)
dizzie118 Thu 27-Sep-18 00:53:54

Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and i need some advice.
I'm about to start IVF next week and I've got a second interview for a challenging new job that involves a lot of cross-country flights. I'm in two minds about it as I'll need time off in the first weeks of the job for scans, egg collection etc which could be an issue. And if we're lucky (fingers crossed) I'm not sure I'd be happy to be flying so much - one of the main purposes of the job is visiting our locations. However it could be a great opportunity for me in the long term.
I don't know whether to continue with it knowing I'll feel guilty about the above with the new employer or to go for another job closer to home with less stress... Has anyone been in a similar position?

Ohluckyme Thu 27-Sep-18 07:42:14

I wouldn’t put your life on hold for ivf. It may not work and if it does work then you’ll be too happy to care. Flying is fine in pregnacy - how do you think air hostesses and female pilots get on? Good luck with ivf 💐

Pumpkin18 Thu 27-Sep-18 22:55:33

@dizzie I'm in a similar situation, got the possibility of a new job (with a previous employer) and would be starting probably a couple of weeks after having IVF, so possibly starting pregnant which I would feel guilty about. Finding it hard to make the decision what to do but thinking that this is my life and having a child is our priority

cheesymashandbeans Thu 27-Sep-18 23:20:20

Depending on flexibility of new job, it may be an issue when it comes to attending daily scans to check on if your eggs are ready to collect, this is only for about a week though. Also personally I was in a lot of pain for a few days after egg collection (although my friend had no pain after hers so fingers crossed you'll be fine) after implantation many women try and take a bit of time off to put feet up and relax, although I suppose there's no real reason why you have to do that.
For about a month in the process, there are lots of going into the clinic for various checkups/scans/procedures, so it really does depend on how flexible this new job is.

PhoebeMouse Fri 28-Sep-18 10:09:42

Could you delay the start date of the new job once you had your dates confirmed for the IVF? With my IVF, i actually only ended up having 2 scans before my egg collection, and they happened to fall on Saturday and Sunday so i was very lucky! I only needed 2 days off for egg collection and an afternoon for embryo transfer. It totally depends on the clinic and which protocol you are on, but you may not have as many appointments as you think. I would say go for it otherwise you may regret passing up the opportunity if it's a job you really aspire to.

dizzie118 Sun 30-Sep-18 07:19:40

Thanks for all the replies!
@cheesymashandbeans & @PhoebeMouse - The job has been vacant for at least 3 months so there is a huge backlog that I'd have to get through and it's unlikely they'd be happy with either delaying the start further or being too flexible with time off at the start.
@Pumpkin18 - I think I'm with you regarding priorities. While the job would be good for me, Im not particularly career focused, so really it is just a job. The more I think about it, the more I think I'd rather focus on this cycle of IVF first then find something.
Thanks again for your thoughts and good luck to you all on your fertility journeys!

Pumpkin18 Sun 30-Sep-18 11:18:25

I'm starting to think similar @dizzie118 I would be able to have first cycle of IVF just before start new job but I would have to probably quit current job before IVF and then take 2 weeks off for it as we are going abroad so I would have 2 weeks of no pay. Then when I start new job I could be pregnant and then wouldn't get even statutory maternity pay plus would have the guilt of telling employer that I'm pregnant on maternity cover position. I was for the new job but now starting to think that earning less and not being truthful about my situation might also pile on the pressure. It's a difficult decision to make for me

dizzie118 Thu 04-Oct-18 22:53:30

@Pumpkin18 - I decided not to go for the job as I was concerned about the amount of travel I would have to do and fitting in appointments etc too. Plus it avoids all the stress you mentioned keeping it quiet at work for at least first the few months!
I'm on day 3 of injections today and once this is all done I'll be looking for a job then. Either full time or a temp/fixed term contract for 6-9months (fingers crossed!).
In NZ, as long as you work at least 10hrs a week for 6 of the 12 months prior to your due date you qualify for a statutory maternity payment. So fingers crossed I get something!
Let me know how you go 😀

Pumpkin18 Fri 05-Oct-18 07:41:53

@dizzie oh that's cool. I spoke with the employer I may be going to as I know him well and just didn't feel comfortable going in to it and not being honest. My DH said the only way was to tell him the truth so I did and he said he didn't see an issue and still wants to meet me to have a chat about the job. I also sounded out my current boss and said that with IVF coming up etc I'm concerned about how it might affect me with stress etc and she said if I get to that point to speak to her and she will see what we can do about giving me an easier job. I think if I definitely get offered the other job then I will let my employer know and see if they can offer me anything as at the moment I can walk to work and I do like the team there so would really be the better option.

dizzie118 Fri 05-Oct-18 23:55:12

That sounds great! I'm glad you were able to speak to them both about it. It's a hard topic to bring up but hopefully it'll put you in the best position possible when it come to your IVF cycle. smile

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