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What was your turning point?

(9 Posts)
LadybirdfromUSA Tue 11-Sep-18 03:30:37

This is my first post. I've been desperate trying to find a forum of some sort that's active where women discuss infertility.

My husband was diagnosed with MFI at the beginning of the year. Sadly, he had no sperm on the slide. Nothing living. Nothing dead. We've seen a urologist and finding a cure for azoospermia through a fertility specialists means experimental testing, putting him under and nothing would be guaranteed.

Basically, lately I've been filled of sadness and completely overwhelmed. IVF is too expensive. Adopting a baby is too expensive. I assume I'll get a lot of people talking about grants but that doesn't seem realistic. It's likely we'll end up doing straight adoption through foster care. Getting financials together and paying off debt is going to take time.

Please tell me what was you're turning point where you knew "you could do it, you could stop being sad all the time and work towards whatever plan you had/have to build a family".

Ohluckyme Tue 11-Sep-18 07:54:49

Sorry to hear you’re in this situation. Honestly I am up and down. I’m on holiday at the moment so I’m feeling pretty good but was at a friends wedding a couple of weeks ago with lots of children which sent me into a depression. I think it’s good that you are looking to the future with the idea of fostering them adoption. That’s a really positive thing!

Sorry to ask but have you looked into donor sperm?

LadybirdfromUSA Tue 11-Sep-18 14:32:50

It maybe a good idea for others but its not something that either of us feel is right for us. Thank you for replying it does make me feel better!

Ohluckyme Tue 11-Sep-18 17:43:05

Of course it’s not for everyone. Have you considered counselling? X

LadybirdfromUSA Tue 11-Sep-18 18:54:32

In order for counseling we have to be diagnosed with depression or something along those lines which will affects any future adoptions. Sadly we have he best insurance my husbands work offers.

Blankspace4 Tue 11-Sep-18 21:56:40

I’m not too sure how the foster / adoption model works in the US.

However, I do know that from my perspective, what has helped me feel better is having a plan. Even though i recently needed to have surgery which means I will never conceive naturally and IVF is our only option. The fact that one route is closed is almost a weight lifted. I hope you can channel your energies into finding out more about that route to a family.

Sending love x

Pumpkin18 Fri 14-Sep-18 20:51:10

Hi @ladybird sorry you are feeling this way. Our issue is male factor too. I found it really hard at first and felt very sad thinking we will never have a family. I then found other people here going through the same issues and starting looking at clinics abroad and started to feel more hopeful. Treatment here in the UK is too expensive for us so I think we are going to go to Repfrofit clinic in the Czech Republic as the costs is so much more affordable. Have you thought about treatment abroad? I think of I hand for found that I would still be wondering what we were going to do

sandytoes84 Sat 06-Oct-18 12:39:56

I would highly recommend ‘rocking the life unexpected’ by Jody Day if you are struggling to process a potential future without children. It took me a couple of years to fully be at peace with the potential, but this book was the starting point.

AniSL Sat 06-Oct-18 20:21:56

LadybirdfromUSA I hope my journey may offer a glimmer. DH had two samples 3 months apart, nada not even one little tadpole in either sample, he has a US testes which found everything is functioning normally and all tests came back fine, lifestyke changes and plenty of supplements and still nothing in the next sample. We started looking at clinics all over the world as we knew we would need TESE - testicular extraction. After A LOT of consultations, we decided on Newlife in Greece, DH had TESE at a fraction of the cost of a UK procedure (including the flight and hotel), they found good quality sperm, enough to freeze several vials. All the UK clinics told us it wouldn't be possible and we needed donor sperm. We now have 10 blasts developing on day 3 with my eggs and DH sperm using ICSI

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