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IVF questions from a newbie!

(7 Posts)
BellaShLex Tue 04-Sep-18 10:12:23

Hi,

My fiancé had leukaemia when he was 21 and as he had total body radiation along with other treatments, he can't produce any sperm. He had four straws frozen just before starting treatment so we're hoping that they will be of good quality, he's 28 now and I'm 27 with no known fertility issues.

I have some questions that probably seem daft but I'm worrying myself silly with them, our first appointment isn't for another week yet so I'm hoping some of you lovely lot might be able to help me out please?

Is there a minimum length of time you need to have been with your partner before they'll consider you?
I struggled with depression and self-harm as a teen, would this mean they wouldn't see me as being a fit parent? I was signed off work due to stress in June but I was being bullied by my manager who has now been dismissed, so I'm also worried about that!
Is there anything that I should be doing before the appointment? My BMI is 29 so I'm trying my best to get fitter at the gym, I'm 5ft10 and around 14st7.

Sorry to ask so many questions, I'm just desperate to not do anything wrong sad

physicskate Tue 04-Sep-18 13:50:08

Generally a stable relationship means living together for at least two years. Most clinics require some sort of length of cohabitation, but you are in a very different position as you are doing fertility treatment without ttc beforehand (for good reason). Most people need to have been ttc for a number of years in a stable relationship. They will have a policy. Ask them for it or consult fertility fairness (a website) and each ccg's guideline...

BellaShLex Tue 04-Sep-18 14:28:29

@physicskate thank you so much, we've known we would have to do IVF at some point but now the time has come I just feel so overwhelmed and have no idea where to start. I think I've probably overloaded my head with information that doesn't even apply to us.
I really appreciate your answer, I'll take a look at your suggestion. smile

EarlGreyT Tue 04-Sep-18 14:35:28

I struggled with depression and self-harm as a teen, would this mean they wouldn't see me as being a fit parent?

Absolutely not. That history will not make a blind bit of difference to you being offered treatment. If they saw everyone with a history of depression/anxiety as not a fit parent, they’d see many of us here as unfit to be parents!

BellaShLex Tue 04-Sep-18 14:51:51

@EarlGreyT ha, I suppose so! I was thinking earlier surely not but started to worry. Thank you for putting my mind to rest about that grin

TryingToStayRational Tue 04-Sep-18 15:07:24

I don’t know about the time together or mental health issues aspects, though I’d be surprised if they were a problem, but I know in terms of BMI our clinic had a threshold of 30 for NHS treatment. So you should be fine but it would certainly be a good plan to ensure you stay on track with that. And being as fit and healthy as you can will be great for when you hopefully become pregnant. Good luck to you both 🙂

BellaShLex Tue 04-Sep-18 15:40:05

@TryingToStayRational thank you! That's what I'm hoping to do, just be in the best shape possible so I can be healthy and hopefully it would make pregnancy a little easier (fingers crossed it happens for us).

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