Starting the IVF journey - anyone want to come along for the ride?

(116 Posts)
jemimafuddleduck Wed 22-Aug-18 21:34:40

I'm so excited and have to speak to someone other than my poor husband! No one even knows we've been trying, let alone heading along the ivf route so I'm feeling quite alone in all of this. Hence my MANY posts on MN, if you've seen any of them.

We had our first clinic appointment today, which I've been nervously/excitedly waiting for.

I have high FSH (17.4), and the consultant, although absolutely LOVELY, initially made me feel like I was pretty much in menopause.

Then she scanned me and said although she couldn't see lots of follicles, it was nowhere near as bad as she had thought.

However our CCG won't do IVF unless your FSH is under 12, so I'm out... unless I have AMH over 5.5.

I had an AMH test today and will get the results in a week or two.

If the result is ok, we'll go straight to NHS IVF immediately- no waiting list!

If it's bad... there are other options and this is already a long post.

Anyone want to share and keep me company? X

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jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 07:57:43


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Guio Thu 23-Aug-18 08:35:00

@jemimafuddleduck, hello and welcome to this hard journey.Like you I have started the process and I am hoping to start IVF in October/November with no waiting lists on the NHS.I couldn't believe it when they told me it is straight away.I had the amh test a year ago done and it was quite low but I didn't repeat it again so not sure if it is worse now.I hope your amh is good enough for funding.why do you need to wait for the results?I had them the day after.I have told a few people including my boss but to be honest I regret now...I guess I wanted to be honest as I known I will need time off.

jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 09:44:08

Hi @Guio thanks for joining!

It sounds like we'll be at very similar stages then. I have actually told my boss but that's it, and obviously don't discuss the ins and outs of it all. He's been fab and basically said take off whatever time you need. Why do you regret it now?

Not sure why I have to wait for the results - they just said it'd take 1-2 weeks?? I'll call after a week I think and see if they've got them.

Is this your first round of ivf? Are you using your own eggs and sperm?

We will see be using our own sperm, but whether we use our own eggs will depend on the amh test.

We are going on holiday on September to a zika country, so will pay to have a blood test to make sure we're both clear when we get back, and should be starting ivf end of October time.

I'm so relieved as have been waiting for this appointment for what seems like ages (in reality it's not that long) and just feel like at least now we know our options.

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Guio Thu 23-Aug-18 10:02:22

Yes it is my first round and I get 2 free with the NHS. Is it your first as well?I haven't thought about donor eggs but people normally say you should try with your own ones a few times before moving there.Can I ask you how old you are?I am 35 and I have been trying for 2 years without any hint 😔.I have endo as well.I regret telling her because I work in a small office and I have the feeling that my colleagues will find out in the end and I like keeping my life privately.I have never been sick and the fact of asking for time off makes me feel anxious.on the other hand I hate my job and the only reason I am staying there is because of the fertility treatment so I shouldn't worry too much about asking for time is a rollercoaster!

jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 10:33:36

Yes it'll be my first and we only get one on the nhs.
We have been told if my amh is below the required level the chance of ivf working with own eggs is less than 10%, whereas if we go to egg donor in that situation it'll be closer to 70%. So if that's the case we think it'd be better to go straight to ED.
However if my amh is ok the chance is much higher that ivf will work with my own eggs. Will just have to see!!
I'm 32, and have only been trying for about a year. I had really light periods so went to the doctor in May, not really expecting much tbh. When they saw what my fsh was they referred me straight away, so I've been very lucky!
I felt I needed to tell my boss because of the amount of time off too. He's very discrete so I'm confident that he won't tell anyone.
I also work on a small team and people are starting to notice me going off a lot, but they're all great and no ones said anything (although I'm sure they all suspect something's going on!).
I just don't want to discuss it with anyone IRL to be honest.
I can't be doing with people asking how it's going and talking about it to lots of people. Even our parents and best friends don't know.

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Guio Thu 23-Aug-18 11:04:17

It is good that you have a very supportive boss.At the end of the day we don't choose to have IVF and every woman should be blessed with a baby. I think about this every day and getting obsessed.Now that I am on holiday is worse as I have more time to think.I really don't want to be like this every day as it could take many years or it couldn't happen 😐.


jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 11:31:56

I know what you mean. I'm dwelling on it lots 😞

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Kellyx Thu 23-Aug-18 17:45:36

Hiya! I am also now starting my IVF journey, been trying with my husband for just over 5 years, with no clear reason why we can’t fall we are now starting IVF at the Bourn Hall clinic. We are waiting for a letter any day with our seminar and starting appointments! I had the same issue a couple of weeks ago, my FSH was 10.5 and had to be under 9 for IVF, I googled what would help bring it down (even though the doctor said nothing would) and it said caffeine, so I completely cut out caffeine as I was a big coffee lover and cut out sugar too and FSH was 6.5. Apparently it really varies over the days! I went to a blood test at my ivf clinic in the morning and another one the same day at my GP surgery to give myself the best chance! Sending well wishes xxx

jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 17:56:38

Hi @Kellyx - thanks for your message.

That's really interesting how you got your fsh down. How long did that take to come down?

Wow 5 years, I really feel for you. Like I said, I feel very fortunate that they actually found something wrong and we have been seen so quickly, so I really sympathise. It's been so hard every month as it is!

I already have a list of questions for the consultant as long as my arm, I'm full of what-ifs.

Will it be straightforward IVF for you? How many cycles do you get funded? And any idea when you'll start? X

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Kellyx Thu 23-Aug-18 19:22:27

Hiya! Thanks for your reply! It’s lovely to speak to someone in the same(ish) position! Everyone I know has had such straight forward conception I feel like the only one lol. It was within a couple weeks I got the fsh down. Don’t know if it would’ve gone down by itself or it was my changes! Guess I will never know. Yes we are now waiting for the start date but should be around sept-Oct time as we have done everything else now. Yes I asked so many questions and I’m taking a note pad to the seminar so I can take notes haha. I’m obsessed at the moment can’t get it out of my head! Do you know when you will be starting yet? Such a long process isn’t it x

jemimafuddleduck Thu 23-Aug-18 19:57:01

@Kellyx I'm in the same boat. ALL of my friends have had babies pretty much on the first time they've tried.
We have always said we weren't sure about having kids, and when we changed our minds and decided we were going for it we didn't tell anyone we'd changed our minds. Thought it'd be easier than everyone knowing and asking if I was pregnant yet.
The downside is everyone is constantly asking whether we think we'll ever decide to try for kids. I was with family this weekend and I swear each person asked me at least once. I was asked about 15 times over the weekend!! And some of the people I haven't seen for ages so it was more of a case of "when are you going to have kids".
I came home feeling like shit 😢

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Kellyx Fri 24-Aug-18 09:01:47

Yea I totally get that! We got married 2 years ago, and ever since then everyone seems to be asking us why we haven’t had kids yet and if we are going to! Inside I get really annoyed because I think it’s such a rude question because you never know what issues people have! So inconsiderate.. my sister the other week was telling me to hurry up because she wants to be an aunt! I had to walk off.. 😡 xx

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 10:19:23

Urgh, it's hard isn't it.

The other thing (and I know rationally this is silly) is that I keep thinking to myself it's my fault for not wanting kids for so long.

All my life I've said no, don't want kids, can't think of anything worse. Then something just switched on me and I think it's the universe's revenge and that maybe only people who have always wanted kids should be allowed them!

I'm aware that sounds a bit crazy, but it's how I feel at the moment 😢

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Kellyx Fri 24-Aug-18 11:46:52

It’s so weird you have said that because I feel the same way but the opposite.. I worry it’s my own fault because I’ve always wanted to be a mum but for some reason in the back of my head my whole life I’ve worried what if I cant.. I feel like I’ve mentally blocked myself from allowing it to happen! I suppose as women we blame ourselves 😢 it’s such an emotional journey isn’t it. I haven’t even start the drugs yet and I feel an emotional wreck 😩

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 15:21:33

Yeah it's really emotional.

So what's the next stage for you? I have an appointment in 2 weeks for the blood test results and plan for the next step. Then once we get back from holiday, zika blood test, and if that's all
Clear (which I'm sure it will be) we start straight away apparently!

I said to DH I could be pregnant by Christmas! He got a bit funny because he said I was getting too ahead of myself and may be disappointed, but I said if I'm not pregnant/miscarry or whatever then I'll be devastated anyway so what's wrong with being positive?! He's very cautious by nature so I kind of get it, but I just think having a PMA will help.

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Kellyx Fri 24-Aug-18 19:36:54

We are now waiting for the letter to come through with the seminar and appointment to learn about the medications etc, and then we will be starting on my next cycle (hopefully)! Yes its suprising how quick it all happens once you are in the clinic!
I have the exactly same mindset as you, I am trying to use the power of positivity. I said exactly the same thing to my husband, about being pregnant by Christmas, he also tries to bring me back to earth, but I've been reading about the law of attraction, so I'm using that! Its got to be better than worrying yourself sick and feeling sad about it already hasn't it? I definitely think PMA all the way!

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 20:30:41

Ooh they haven't said anything to us about a seminar, they've just said that we'll get straight on with it when we get back from holiday. I wonder if we'll do that as well?
Where are you based if you don't mind me asking? I'm in Bristol.
You're NHS as well I take it?

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Lauren83 Fri 24-Aug-18 20:37:13

I had NHS funding and had an own egg cycle with AMH of 2.2 and FSH of 9 which failed, I then tried again but my FSH went to 23 so they cancelled the cycle and withdrew funding for own egg treatment so I moved to donor eggs, tried donor eggs and on the third donor egg cycle I had a little boy (Borb in Jan) I actually work in an IVF clinic too so If I can help with anything from either perspective let me know

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 21:23:36

Ahh thank you Lauren!
Congrats on the birth of your little one!
Do you work in an nhs or private clinic?
When you say the first cycle failed, what happened?
I've been told because my fsh is over 12, unless my amh is under 5.5 they won't fund me for own egg ivf but we might be able to get nhs funding for donor egg.

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IceIceMaybeBaby Fri 24-Aug-18 21:38:24

Hi lovely ladies!

Just wanted to say I completely agree with you, it's such an emotional journey and it's really hard for people who have not gone through it to understand the distress this brings.
@Kellyx, I feel you. I am 28 and got married a year ago (anniversary is soon approaching! eek) and it's so hard to tell people "actually, no, I can't just pop a baby just like that, it's not always easy". I know it's not malicious in any way, but folk take for granted the ability to conceive naturally and they forget there are other situations too. The ones that get me the most are the "oopsies". "Oh I didn't even try, it just happened and I was on the pill!" Yeah right ok please take your superhuman ovaries and get tae.

Anyway, rant over (for now). We're not quite at the very start, I wish I joined in earlier! We're doing IVF with ICSI, already had the injections (Gonal F 300 and Cetrotide) and had my EG on Monday. Out of 10 follicles we managed to get 5 eggs and we were so incredibly lucky to have them all fertilise! Sadly not all grew right so we have 3 left, strong contenders and we're hoping they will all be at blasto stage tomorrow. Oh yes, ET tomorrow morning and I don't know what to do with myself!! eeek

Hope you're having a lovely evening xxx

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 21:41:30

@IceIceMaybeBaby eeek how exciting for you!! I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight if I were you!

How many are you having out back in? (Assuming all 3 are ok tomorrow). Do you get a choice of whether to put one or more in? X

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Lauren83 Fri 24-Aug-18 21:53:37

Thankyou, it took a long time but I got there! I would have kept going with my eggs had I had the money to keep self funding but I knew I could swap a 5% chance of success for a 50%, I knew I needed blast transfer and some to freeze and I knew I wouldn't get that with my eggs as my antral follicle count was low too. It doesn't even occur to me that he is donor conceived and if I could go back and use my eggs I wouldn't as he wouldn't be the same baby!

I work in an private clinic but we do have a contract to take NHS patients

jemimafuddleduck Fri 24-Aug-18 22:12:24

Yeah I totally understand that. Our consultant told us if the amh is bad our chance will be 10% but if we go for donor eggs it'll be closer to 60-70%. So I think I'd much rather those odds!!
I'm basically planning on my head to go down the donor route, but will see what happens.
How did you find working in your clinic and having your own issues? Did it make life harder or easier for you?

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IceIceMaybeBaby Fri 24-Aug-18 22:39:20

@jemimafuddleduck I know I don't think I'll be able to shut my eyes! Can't not think about it! I'm having just 1 replaced, they said from the start that they wouldn't risk putting in more than 1 as I am quite young and they didn't want the risk of multiple pregnancies. Didn't really have a choice, so here's hoping it sticks! It's been such an emotional roller-coaster but all will be worth it!
I'm currently on some lovely progesterone pessaries which are so messy! Strange to say I kinda preferred the injections over these awful messy things haha without TMI, but may have to shop for a whole new set of knickers haha it's all ruined! But as I said, all worth it and I'd try anything to have my own wee wriggly baby in my arms!

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