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Anyone else just starting their journey ?

(716 Posts)
TTC73 Wed 23-May-18 06:23:23

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far sad

enialenagem Sun 03-Jun-18 07:20:24

Hi all, just starting infertility investigations after 2.5 years of trying. I have endometriosis so I’m guessing that is going to be a contributing factor.
Starting to find it hard as the reality is setting in. The one thing I’ve always known I wanted was to have a family. It feels so cruel to have this strong biological urge that I’m not able to fulfill.
To make it worse I’m a midwife so have a daily reminder that it’s not me that’s going home with my new baby.
I’ve had all my blood tests and have a pelvic ultrasound booked. Meeting the consultant in a few weeks.
Although I’m glad we are getting it looked into I feel really sad that we have to go down this path.

FingersXssd83 Sun 03-Jun-18 10:04:55

Ahh @TTC73 you sound just like me! I have a bit of health anxiety and really not sure I would cope very well with IVF either.

Since AF arrived on Thurs and we're officially in the infertility zone, I've been a right hot mess.

Haven't done anything other than watched / read loads about infertility. Not really helping myself tbh but it's the way I've felt.

My mood is a bit brighter today so going to arrange acupuncture (needles arrrgh!), and looking at starting yoga.

Hope everyone else is feeling okay xx

Mrsjones17 Sun 03-Jun-18 14:14:02

@lopeylopez yep it’s difficult not to get cross at them. We’ve just had slight words something along the lines of..
Him: can you pick me up after x tonight?
Me: yeah but why can’t you drive are u having a drink
Him: yeah was going to have one or two
Me: thought I were trying to cut back a bit on the drink?
Him: one or two should be alright
Me: not being funny but you had three last night and a few more than three on Friday!
Him: yeah the guidance is 3/4 units A DAY
Me: no 3/4 units a WEEK
Him: well it’ll be ok
Me: not really if all your swimmers are pissed it’s not exactly helping try can’t swim in the right direction as t is! (Possibly a bit harsh!)

Anyway he’s taken the car and going to have one shandy!

Agh!!!

FingersXssd83 Sun 03-Jun-18 14:39:05

Gosh @Mrsjones17 that sounds so familiar! It's really stressful when you're doing all you can and you feel that your other half isn't as committed. Deep down I know mine truly is give or take a few extra pints.

TTC73 Sun 03-Jun-18 16:25:06

We're a non alcohol household but its so hard getting DH to eat healthier he eats nothing but cakes and biscuits between meals and he won't drink water only squash thanks for that mil and he hates wearing loose boxer shorts that don't offer any support so he's sticking with his tight ones 😳 think once we get the test results back he'll snap into action though.
MIL currently in a huff with us at our lack of enthusiasm towards DHs irresponsible cousin and her pregancy i feel like screaming at her that we've been TTC for over 3yrs and possibly facing infertility treatments so no we aren't happy for her hmm

Mrsjones17 Sun 03-Jun-18 16:44:45

I do think he is committed he just doesn’t make the connection I think. We are waiting for second sperm analysis to be done so I think he thinks it will all be fine. We will see. To be fair he has done most of the stuff, loose boxers (not keen on the lack of support of snugness apparently!) eats well and exercises and takes supplements. But he eat well and exercised before so I guess two out of three ain’t bad?!

TTC73 Sun 03-Jun-18 17:48:28

My DH can't even take supplements because he has bad reactions to them. It must be a man thing to like snug fitting boxers then grin he is committed to having a baby and talks about it non stop but i think for men because they aren't actually the ones getting pregnant and giving birth they find it hard to commit to the lifestyle changes.
Im so sick of the snide comments from people mostly MIL saying we should have had kids by now we've been married ages etc etc its so intrusive and rude

Mrsjones17 Sun 03-Jun-18 18:49:04

Haha yeah think it’s a man thing they like to feel safe!

That’s totally shit about MIL. I take it she doesn’t know the issues? How long have you been married?

I find the easiest way of dealing with it is to ask really personal questions back. Or someone once said on another thread about saying gosh that’s a very personal question some people have real struggles you’re very brave asking that. Followed by a Paddington bear style stare haha! Although admittedly I would struggle to be really rude to MiL!

TTC73 Sun 03-Jun-18 18:58:58

We've been married 5yrs together 10 yrs. She is a very horrible unpredictable woman to be around we're pretty much NC with her at this point due to her comments and the way she treats DH.

Mrsjones17 Sun 03-Jun-18 20:29:39

That’s really shit! @ttc73

Ive been with my DH 10
Years too. Married for 3 though

LillyLeaf Mon 04-Jun-18 09:17:07

Mind if I join? I'm 35 and TTCing for a year now, never thought it would take so long. I have a fertility appointment later in June but I have had a few tests done via GP and private. Nothing looks massively wrong but DP's SA is 'ok', 4% morphology was the latest. I have a small fibroid which will be removed in August, no one seems too bothered about it affecting my chances with it being there. I'm really not ready for IVF and desperately want to conceive naturally but worried about leaving it too late. Feel like I'm in limbo. The waiting list for NHS IVF is 7/8 months so if we want that asap we'll need to go private. Just don't know whether to keep trying or give up and pay for IVF. Sorry about the rant, all this is going around in my head everyday.

We're lucky that both sets of parents have not really asked about babies, I think they know not to ask and probably know we're TTCing.

thisisouryrfx18 Mon 04-Jun-18 09:25:16

@TTC73 soo sorry that u find urself in this situation, im the exact same ttc #1 for 2.5 nearly 3yrs now! Im currently trying to pluck up the courage to fone gp and get an appointment to start investigations..but im terrified!

thisisouryrfx18 Mon 04-Jun-18 09:31:17

Just realised ive seen @LillyLeaf @Mrsjones17 both of u in various conception boards hi ladies😊 sorry that its came to this for all of us its shit isnt it?

LillyLeaf Mon 04-Jun-18 18:18:02

Yeah Hi, the conception boards can get so annoying. Thought I'd try here although I haven't quite labelled myself infertile yet. Although not really sure if there's anything that can be done before IVF?

thisisouryrfx18 Mon 04-Jun-18 19:37:38

@LillyLeaf i wouldnt label myself as infertile either but as u said when ur on the conception boards and everyone has left because theyv had their bfp u start to accept that something isnt right..suppose finding out what it is is the first step x

Mrsjones17 Mon 04-Jun-18 20:06:04

Yep hi @thisisouryrfx18 sorry to see you over here. It is indeed shit

FingersXssd83 Mon 04-Jun-18 20:20:46

Agree that the conception board is awful! I've decided not to go on again.

@LillyLeaf you're in exactly the same situation as me minus the fibroid (although I've been getting pains/chills in my lower abdomen so kind of expecting to have something going on after my ultrasound!).

I've really lost my shit over the last week or so, does anyone have any recommendations how to take your mind off TTC? I'm finding it all a bit much xxx

LillyLeaf Mon 04-Jun-18 21:06:37

@FingersXssd83 I have been googling the same... 'how to stop thinking about TTCing' too. I've had a very stressy day all because I've been trying to get my healthcare to cover this fibroid op (so I can have it sooner), but if they think it's fertility related they won't cover it but I'm sure it's the cause of some pain too so not necessarily just fertility, just trying to ring my doctor's to get a letter explaining etc blah blah blah, it's just draining. I am tempted by acupuncture just to see if it helps, just feeling like I could cry if I think about it all. I'm struggling to concentrate at work too, really need to take my mind off this.

thisisouryrfx18 Mon 04-Jun-18 22:18:31

@LillyLeaf and @FingersXssd83 i wish i knew sumthin to take my mind off it all aswell its soo draining its all i talk about with oh all i think about is ways to get pregnant things to buy and do..ive lookd into acupuncture its reasonably priced and nearby i want to try it out

thisisouryrfx18 Mon 04-Jun-18 22:20:36

@LillyLeaf hope doc sorts out the letter for u what a nightmare they always try to worm their way out of paying for ops bastards

TTC73 Tue 05-Jun-18 11:31:40

Just been to GP for my swabs doing just a blood test to go now before we find out on the 2nd what it all means. Nervous and excited at the same time

LillyLeaf Tue 05-Jun-18 18:27:20

@TTC73 does it feel good that something is happening? I find the waiting the hardest. I've booked my first acupuncture appointment on Thursday, not sure if it's just a first chat or if she'll get straight to it. She's asked to see any test results we have and any charting, I think it will be interesting. Might chill me out a bit or refocus my thoughts 🤞

Mrsjones17 Tue 05-Jun-18 18:47:11

@TTC73 understandable that your nervous but at least things are going in the right direction! Good you get to find out on 2nd not too far away. I assume 2nd July that is?

FingersXssd83 Tue 05-Jun-18 19:12:10

What are the swans for @TTC73? I wasn't offered them at the GP, just the 21 day bloods

LillyLeaf Tue 05-Jun-18 19:16:43

I had to have swabs done before I could be referred to a fertility specialist, can't remember what they were for, I think one was for STDs.

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