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Anyone else just starting their journey ?

(716 Posts)
TTC73 Wed 23-May-18 06:23:23

DH is going for his sperm sample to be tested today and hes so nervous and the GP wants me to have some blood tests done and swabs at a later date. So nervous of what to expect and terrified of the possibility of IVF I've heard its so painful ?
We've been trying to have a baby for over 3yrs with 2 chemical pregnancies so far sad

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jemimafuddleduck Wed 23-May-18 22:23:57

Hi @TTC73! I'm kind of in the same boat. I haven't been ttc for long - only 6 months. But I went to the docs as had short and very light periods. They did some blood tests and found I have high fsh - so low ovarian reserves. They have found that I am ovulating so that's something at least. I've been booked in for a trans-abdominal and trans-vaginal scan on 4th June and DH needs to have SA done.
I guess I'm lucky that the doctors have been really proactive so quickly.
Sorry to hear that you're going through this too thanks

Mrsjones17 Thu 24-May-18 06:33:01

Yep I’m just starting the process. Slightly further along. DH has had two SA done and the results are on the low side. I’ve had bloods done last year and find but have just had them repeated and waiting for results. DH has swobs Sind all fine and still waiting for results for mine. We have been referred to fertility specialists but that’s it so far. TTC for 18 months and AF has come again this morning so I guess that makes this next one cycle 19!

Hopefully we can support each other aling the way!

TTC73 Thu 24-May-18 11:31:02

Have to wait 10 days for the sperm test results to come back and im still waiting for AF to show so i can book my appointment for 10 days after that for my swabs doing and then 21 days after they are doing a blood test to check I'm ovulating. So many dates to remember

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LopeyLopez Thu 24-May-18 18:17:20


We've been ttc for ages (over two years ntnp; onto cycle 17 proper ttc with all the trimmings (!) - opks, timing sex, bbt monitoring and all the supplements etc....) but only just been referred for ivf.

Currently waiting for a letter from the consultant to kick it all off.

We've had all the tests done and mine were all fine but DPs SA showed terrible morphology at 1%, so we are male factor. However I'm also 38 so want to get things moving ASAP as time is ticking....egg reserve is ok for now but probably not for long.

I was on the conception boards for ages but so many people came and went with BFPs, and I was still there, month after month! A bit depressing; however I do miss my mumsnet threads so hoping to find a suitable home here in the infertility section...

Best of luck to everyone here and I hope we can support one another in these troubled times.....


Mrsjones17 Thu 24-May-18 23:19:41

@lopey we have male factor too DH sample was so low we couldn’t even get a morphology ready 😫. Have you had the second SA? DH had two done quite close tighter so they are repeating it again in July so will be 3 months after last one to hope for a slight improvement?! He is trying what we can loose boxers supplements low alcohol (he already had a good diet and exercises well).

Are you doing anything to help improve sperm quality? Would love to hear anything else to try.

I too was a Long time lurker in conception board hut as you say it’s a bit much bfp after bfp and still nothing for me 18 months in

TTC73 Fri 25-May-18 09:00:29

I have a feeling DH is going to be totally fine but its me thats the problem sad they seem to be planning more tests for me than they are DH. We're waiting till the 4th now for another test doing then my bloods after that on the 21st i need my 21 day blood test to check I've ovulated which i won't have done if the OPKs so far are anything to go by. Hoping they can just give us clomid to kickstart my ovaries so we don't need IVF im terrified of going down that route

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Mrsjones17 Fri 25-May-18 12:57:02

@TTC73 I had a lot of tests done before DH had SA done so wouldn’t take it as red that it is you.

I had bloods and ultrasound done before SA. I think it’s just a starting point really to check that everything is ok before moving onto the next person really.

jemimafuddleduck Sat 26-May-18 08:23:39

I know what you all mean about the conception boards. I started a thread in February called "TTC#1" and it's now up to over 800 posts... it's ironic that I started it but didn't think I'd be on it for long and have seen many people come and go with their BFPs. On the thread I'm always like "yay, congratulations!!!" But in real life I'm just like 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

FingersXssd83 Fri 01-Jun-18 17:24:09

Yep me! Been referred to clinic after 13 cycles (I'm nearly 35)...

Initial GP 21 day bloods came back fine and DH SA was 1% morphology but still within acceptable range as there are a lot of them!

DH has just been for his SA at the clinic and I go for bloods and scan later this month.

AF arrived for me yesterday and I've been mega low since.

I appreciate we haven't been trying that long or had the disappointments that some people have had, but I'm really struggling with anxiety about it all atm.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a calmer day xxx

Mrsjones17 Fri 01-Jun-18 18:48:47

@fingersxssd83 I really struggle with the anxiety with it too. It’s just shit and unfair sometimes x

LopeyLopez Sat 02-Jun-18 09:25:17

@TTC73, I reiterate what MrsJones said: don't assume the problem is you. I thought that too, because of my age (DP is younger at 35, and probably healthier...), but I was wrong. He had his semen analysis long after I had many tests. Now I wish I had pushed for his tests sooner, as the whole process has taken so long overall to come to this point (starting IVF).

@MrsJones, yes, we had the second SA sample done and it yielded similar results unfortunately. Morphology still low, although this one did say 2% rather than 1%. Count is also pretty low at 16 mill per ml, which would have been classed as sub fertile a few years ago (and still is by some standards), but now just squeezes into the normal range (I looked this up: it is 15 mill to 200 mill, so a huge range.... and we are right down there at the bottom...)

I have my transvaginal scan on Tuesday and we have the first IVF app ("nurse appointment") the Sunday after. Everything suddenly seems to be moving very fast and it is scary... this is all I've wanted for so long, but when it suddenly happens it takes you by surprise! There appears to be no waiting list at all for the treatment (but then, we are self-funded so I don't know if that makes a differences...) I am fearful of the IVF process too, but the more I read about it the better I feel. Just educate yourselves, with everything the fertility unit give you and anything you find yourselves too.

I have to keep remembering that the IVF is still statistically more likely to fail than to be a success, and so I shouldn't get my hopes up to high. That is hard, when I think that I'll be having an embryo actually placed inside my womb in a few weeks or months...! Some people say to treat the first cycle like a practice run...

Mostly at the moment I am having difficulty with the fact that we are male factor. I fell it's totally out of my control. Every time DP has a coffee or a beer I wince inside.... I know this is wrong, but I feel like I am doing everything I humanly can to make this work, and when I thought it was me that had the problem I went all out with all the supplements, lifestyle changes, acupuncture.... and he does nothing. It is obviously different for men. I can't say any of this to him as I sound like an absolute bitch; maybe I am....?

Infertility is not a blame game and of course it is not his fault, and I love him to the ends of the Earth and wouldn't want to be with anyone else, ever. However I still have this niggling feeling that, "I'm fertile, but you're now by default, I am infertile too..." and that just doesn't seem fair.

Sorry for the long message / moan. I will keep in touch with details of how the apps went in case anyone is interested for when you may have to go through the same...


Mrsjones17 Sat 02-Jun-18 10:28:46

@lopeylopez I could have written your post about DH. My DH has had similar results. Although he has started taking vitamins and loose fitting shorts. I know what u mean about the drinking. He doesn’t drink that much but like you said I am doing everything I can (Accupuncture supplements diets etc) and it’s still out of my control. And even if we do go down the IVF route it’s a lot of invasion things for me and I’m not the one with the issue. Again I know it’s so bitchy and I would never said that in real life. Like you said it’s not a blame game but it’s so tough on the emotions!

Wishing you lots of luck and really hope you are first time lucky!!

Frustratedfrenchie Sat 02-Jun-18 11:52:07

Hello ladies,

We have been TTC for 13 cycles after my DH's vasectomy reversal. A SA in february told us he had a low sperm count and we would only have a 10% chance of conceiving naturally. We live in France now and I went to see my GP/Gynecologist on tuesday, she sent a referral, 2 hours later they called me with an appointment for a fertility clinic that specialises in IVF. In France if you are under 43 they will fund 3 cycles of IVF regardless of if you already have children. My appointment is July and i've been advised to expect to start the treatment the following month.

Sorry for not responding individually, sending everyone strength for the journeys ahead of us! xx

TTC73 Sat 02-Jun-18 14:12:15

DHs cousin has just announced she's pregnant cue me bursting into floods of tears sad DH is pretty pissed off too as she is no way prepared to have a child. Its all so so shit.

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Frustratedfrenchie Sat 02-Jun-18 14:29:39

@TTC73 sad I see pregnant people everywhere and its breaks my heart. I was irrationally really angry at hearing the Radford family are expecting baby number 21, as if it almost depleted the allocation of babies for everyone else, but also at their lack of responsibility for their other 20 children who won't be getting the attention they need.

I'd be happy with just the one thank you.

Hugs my love, i'm positive it will be our day one day.

Mrsjones17 Sat 02-Jun-18 15:34:04

@TTC73 sympathies. Totally rubbish when that happens. I said to DH other day I’m going to quite my job and start smoking and drinking and I’ll surely get pregnant! Some people find it so easy. We’ve done everything we possibly can to make the right choice about bringing a baby into the world, good jobs, finaially stable, nice house, solid relationship, healthy lifestyle and yet can’t get pregnant for love nor money!!

TTC73 Sat 02-Jun-18 19:49:11

Its so rubbish that we are trying so hard and people who don't even want and can't even look after a baby just seem to fall pregnant after one time.

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jemimafuddleduck Sat 02-Jun-18 20:52:38

I agree. While we're talking about stuff that upsets us/makes us angry, can I also mention the "Is this a line?" posts on the conception boards? Fair enough with the real squinters, but when someone has a clear line and they're like "oooh is this a bfp? I can't tell!" I'm like OH FUCK OFF!

TTC73 Sat 02-Jun-18 21:12:49

Yes those piss me off too or people that join the TTC boards and post a BFP within a how??

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jemimafuddleduck Sat 02-Jun-18 21:23:39

Yes!! Also I watched a YouTube video on ttc earlier... she got her bfp cycle 1!!! Not really sure she was qualified to give advice 😒

LopeyLopez Sat 02-Jun-18 22:09:08

@Mrs Jones, thank God you posted that, makes me feel soooo much better that someone else is in s similar position, albeit a crappy one for both of us...

Yes, my DP doesn't drink too much either, is generally healthy and eats well and exercises. However, although he rarely gets massively drunk / pissed, he does drink say one beer probably four-five nights a week, and then more on nights out and at the weekends. So it all adds up.... This would be fine if he didn't have a problem, but his sperm (or lack of them) indicate that he does... He also drinks strong coffee every morning and sometimes at other times of day; drinks a few cups of black tea a day; loves coca cola; and eats a chocolate bar a day. So too much caffeine - again, fine for someone with normal sperm. Not fine for someone with next to none.

He has agreed to take supplements which I have bought, at around £34 a month. He did buy some loose boxers himself but is not wearing them every day! In my bitchier moments I am very pissed off that I am funding this whole thing (I agreed to fund the IVF), which we wouldn't even need if he had normal you say, I would never say this out loud, because I would be a total cow to do that, but it's good to get it off my check here....

As you say, we are the ones that have to go through all the invasive procedures, despite not being the ones with the problem. They have to wank into a pot a few times....easy by comparison!

I agree with all the anger towards those who seem to get pregnant so is so unfair. I may sound bitter.... that's because I am!! So angry with those "drive by bfps" on the conception boards.

Ah, good vent, that feels better...! ;-)

RubyBoots7 Sat 02-Jun-18 22:54:58

Why are you scared of ivf, what have you been told? I didn't find it painful at all. Tiring, frustrating and an emotional rollercoaster definitely (as is the infertility journey)
There's a good chance they may not find any explanation for your infertility on either side as is so often the case. Sometimes medicine doesn't have the tests to determine the reason.
Seeing other people getting pregnant is really hard but from experience it you up if you get too focused on them and what they are doing. For your own wellbeing, maybe try to distance yourself from it a bit if you can. Good luck.

jemimafuddleduck Sat 02-Jun-18 22:56:21

@LopeyLopez I think those feelings are completely natural. I don't know about DH yet as he's yet to be tested (planned in for v soon) but I would feel the same. My DH does a lot of cycling and wouldn't want to give that up... 😐

TTC73 Sun 03-Jun-18 01:40:18

I read this buzzfeed article a few weeks ago and one of the posts referenced injecting yourself with hormones into your stomach daily with a massive needle and saying it burned going in (the liquid) shock
Im a massive needle/pain phobe so is DH so i don't think we'd cope with the self injecting parts at all. Also I've read they stick a long flexible needle through your stomach to harvest your eggs which again sounds like actual torture for me. Obviously these could just be scare mongering internet rubbish and I'd talk through the options with our Obgyn but it still makes me feel sick thinking about it

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