Too Late??

[antoniaeml]

I will be 40 in September and I have an amazing daughter who will be 5 in June. I met my, now, fiance in 2012 and fell pregnant after 2 months partly as I was given to believe I'd struggle to get pregnant due to suspected ovarian cysts and coeliac disease so we weren't careful but we were delighted to find out we were expecting!

I was made redundant while on maternity leave, my fiance already has 2 children from a previous marriage and works away Monday-Friday, and we were really struggling for money so when I found out I was pregnant at the end of 2016 we made the difficult decision that we weren't in the position to have another baby and I had an abortion; a decision I regret terribly now. I found work 3 months later and 3 months after that I found out I was pregnant again! After 4 difficult years we were delighted, so you can imagine how I felt when I started spotting on the morning of my 12 week scan and then found out I had miscarried at 8 weeks.

I suffer from depression, anxiety and insomnia but manage very well but, still, I have had to give up my full time job as I was struggling being on my own during the week, we have only lived in our area about a year and so have few friends nearby and no family, and I need to spend more time with my daughter.

I would love another baby but since my micarriage last June we have not used protection but my period comes every month! This month my period had been slow to come with 3 days of spotting and terribly tender/sore breasts and hot flushes and now I'm worried I'm starting menopause at not even 40 and that I've left it too late.

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

[TheJoyOfSox]

Do you have any pregnancy tests at home?
I’d be doing one in the morning fingers crossed 🤞🏻 for you.

[Bubblegum89]

I have a 9 year old daughter from a previous relationship. I’d been with my (now) partner for about a year and a half when I fell pregnant whilst on the pill. I was excited, him not so much. I felt very backed into a corner. I wanted the baby more than anything but he couldn’t see past the fact we didn’t have enough money as it was, we weren’t in stable housing etc. I felt there was no choice but to terminate. That was 3 years ago and I have dealt horribly with it ever since.

Having had the termination, my biggest fear was not being able to get pregnant again. So on top of the huge regret of terminating, I am now living my biggest fear. I think about it every day and I know I may never get the chance to be a parent again and that I threw away my only opportunity. I can’t begin to describe to anyone how much that kills me. So I absolutely understand how you feel.

I am at least thankful that I’ve been unable to get pregnant again at all so haven’t had to suffer a miscarriage, I’m so sorry that you’ve been through that. I think 39 is very young to start going through menopause although I know it’s not impossible. Could you speak to your GP and ask them to run some tests? I think they’re able to check your FSH levels to see if you’re beginning the menopause.

[antoniaeml]

Sadly, my period has now come with a vengeance, so definitely not pregnant.

Bubblegum89 - I'm so sorry you had to go through that, I completely understand how you feel, I think about both the termination and miscarriage all the time.

I will go to my GP to check things out, I know they say once you hit 39 fertility does decline rapidly though I also know it's not impossible as I have friends who have fallen pregnant in their 40s! xx