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Trying to conceive baby#2 following ivf treatment for #1

(999 Posts)
lucieloos Sat 17-Mar-18 18:34:04

I thought I would start this thread as I can't see anything similar. We underwent many rounds of icsi and following a couple of bfns, and an ectopic pregnancy we were finally blessed with our beautiful daughter last year.

We recently started thinking about baby no 2 and had 4 frozen embryos of which 2 had been tested and found to be chromosomally normal so are meant to have a better chance. We didnt have the other 2 tested.

A couple of weeks back we had our first fet with one of the tested embryos and got a bfp super early at 4dp5dt. Sadly by 8dpt the line was barely visible and resulted in a chemical pregnancy. I've been feeling really down about it as this was meant to be a super duper embryo with no genetic problems which they said was the main reason embryos fail.

I thought it would be easier trying for #2 and of course it is in a way as I realise how lucky I am to have had a baby but I can feel the infertility fog starting to descend again as I realise although I've had a brief respite I will never be like my fertile friends and I do really want another baby and a sibling for my little girl.

Im feeling a bit negative at the moment. We will probably go back for the other tested embryo in the near future but I can't see how I would ever get lucky enough to get 2 bfps in a row. These things just don't happen to me so just not too hopeful about it at all. We said that if we used all of our frosties with no success we would be happy with what we have but already I am thinking should I do more fresh cycles. I will be 39 soon though so time isn't on my side for that.

Anyway just wondering if anyone else is in a similar situation and would like to share the journey. Please come and say hi.

Snowdayfet Sat 17-Mar-18 20:03:13

Checking in. I’m 37, ttc no 2, have one DS conceived on my first FET after a freeze all cycle with a PGS tested embryo. Just about to have my first attempt at ttc no 2 (also a PGS tested embryo) confirmed as a chemical pregnancy. 2 more PGS tested frosties left. Ho hum.

Wow lucie I didn’t realise you had been through so much ttc no 1. You are a strong woman. I know what you mean about the infertility fog descending again - it feels so unfair that we can’t just have babies like (seemingly) every one else. I definitely think it is much less crap than ttc no 1 but it’s still just rubbish and I’ve been surprised at how much brain space -serially testing- wondering about this failed pregnancy has taken up over the past 10 days.

lucieloos Sat 17-Mar-18 20:20:48

Thanks snow, with my first baby I had first transfer which was bfn, then a cancelled cycle, then I did 3 more rounds of embryo banking which is where my frosties came from. Then had a round on the NHS which was bfp but ectopic and went through 2 months of hell with that and ended up having to take chemo meds to remove embryo. Then another fresh round followed by bfn and then another fresh round which resulted in my daughter.

I got excited by this fet because I thought finally things had worked out easily for us but of course it wasn't to be. I just can't help but feel panicked by the next transfer because it's our last tested one. Then we have one decent untested and one not so good untested.

twinkledag Sat 17-Mar-18 20:21:07

Me.

3.5 yr old DS conceived from a FET.

Failed fresh cycle in 2016 then failed FET in 2017.

Egg collection on Monday for our 3rd and final round. Am also 39 and angry/sad that we can't have a baby naturally, It sucks.

lucieloos Sat 17-Mar-18 20:26:43

Hi twinkle, so sorry to hear about your failed fets. Wishing you lots of luck for Monday. It really does suck though doesn't it. I feel like I may be following in your footsteps if these next couple of fets don't work. Please stick around and let us know how it goes on Monday.

twinkledag Sat 17-Mar-18 20:29:35

Will do.

I hate that we have to be grateful that we have a child already when others have home so easily angry

twinkledag Sat 17-Mar-18 20:31:16

*Them not home

lucieloos Sat 17-Mar-18 20:32:48

Yes I know what you mean twinkle it doesn't make it much easier. I don't feel like my family is complete yet. I know my friends will go on to have second and maybe third babies but i must be grateful that I've had the one. Of course I am eternally grateful but I still yearn for another.

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 07:04:28

Good luck for egg collection today twinkle 🍀

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 08:43:02

Good luck twinkle

I am sat waiting for my second beta. I took another first response this morning and only a very faint line. So another blood test a bit of a waste of time. Just want to schedule an appointment with my doctor to figure out next steps!

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 08:50:41

Oh good luck snow it's so disappointing but I hope the numbers go down quickly for you so you can draw a line under this one and begin to plan for the next. When do you think you might be able to see your doctor?

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 09:02:42

Thanks lucie. I just need the go ahead to stop the cyclogest and move on. I have a 35 day cycle anyway so i only have 10 cycles a year as it is. Hoping to see the doctor this week although would be fine if it was next week - no rush. I need to write down my long list of questions for him too!

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 09:05:13

I also feel like I need to take the next cycle a bit more seriously. Ttc no 1 I was eating super healthily, taking every vitamin under the sun, exercising 4 times a week, doing acupuncture etc (including directly before and after transfer). This time I was eating like crap, drinking lots, no exercise other than walking, no acupuncture, sleeping badly (thanks to my son!) etc. Just because other women do that and still get pregnant at the drop of a hat doesn’t mean it’s applicable to me.

kmmr Mon 19-Mar-18 09:23:53

Hi snowday. I feel like we have been on a thread before together. Quite likely in this infertility game!

But my story is exactly the same. Had my son at 38 after 5 years trying. I had 4 frosties, and when he was approaching 2 we did 2 cycles, both failed. Then a third when they worked out there was a lining issue. 3rd embie failed to defrost properly, so suddenly it was my last go. With the worst quality embryo, and I was pretty angry as I feel the lining issue was obvious (I had mentioned it) but went ahead with the first 2 cycles, and 'wasted' those best quality ones. 3rd cycle resulted in a BFP, then chemical... which made me even more upset, as that meant the earlier ones may well have taken. Anyway, hindsight...

At that stage I was 40, and we'd agreed we would only try the frosties, but after a few months I realised I just wasn't ready to give up. DH took some convincing, but he relented in the end. At 41 I had one last fresh go. Got one good blast, which is pretty normal for me, but it came to nothing. Just more money poured away. DH thought I'd push for another, but the fact that it wasn't 'even' a chemical made me feel it just wasn't going to happen, and I don't have the heart or energy for donor eggs.

Anyway, I'm now 6 months later and I'm coming to terms with it. I'm glad I'm out of the IVF fog. I gave it all I could, and it didn't work - the last fresh cycle was needed to show me it was the end.

It breaks my heart that my son won't have a sibling, but now at least I can give him all my focus, not be yearning for another. I can see more clearly now how siblings aren't that great for everyone, and one child is a lovely experience. I am more present in each moment, good or bad, as I know this is the only time I get them, so I don't get annoyed easily at anything.

I'd still give my right arm for another, but we know that's not enough...

So, just giving you another view. It can be ok, and in truth it's so much better than not having one at all. I'm not saying be grateful, although I know you are, just console yourself with soft toddler cuddles and giggles. It is better, so much better, than what it could have been.

kmmr Mon 19-Mar-18 09:25:06

Sorry, mixed up names! That was meant to be addressed to Lucieloos

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 10:28:09

Gosh kmmr that sounds like a real rollercoaster. Sorry it didn’t work out but am glad you’re approaching some sense of peace.

If you don’t mind me asking what was the lining issue identified and why did it take so long for it to be picked up?

PonyPals Mon 19-Mar-18 11:08:34

Hi all,
We were successful after the very first IVF cycle and had one frozen emby which was 'perfect'.
Now that DS is 2.5 we decided to give our frosty a try and I will be honest I was expecting it to just work.
I am now on day 8dp5dt and keep getting negatives POAS. I know I shouldn't be testing but I can't help it.
It just hit me how very very lucky we were to just get DS from very first go of IVF.
Wishing you luck. You are all very brave.

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 11:53:05

Oh kmmr thank you so much for sharing your story. It almost made me cry a little. I'm so sorry you didn't get your bfp. You are right things are a million times better now than they could have been. At one point it was looking likely that we may not have a baby at all. I guess it's just hard starting over again after having a year out of the infertility game and with a tested embie I kind of had high hopes it would work. It's just really put me on edge for my next transfer and I'm really stressing over everything whereas the first time I was excited and looking forward to it. I'm not sure the frosties would be enough for me and like you would probably need to try 1 or 2 more fresh cycles as well before I could maybe start coming to terms with things. What was the problem with your lining?

It's tough, just been out for coffee with a couple of friends that I've made since having my little one and one of them was talking about starting trying for the next. I haven't told anyone about the ivf but did decide to tell them that I recently had a very early loss and because of my age I wasn't sure if it would work out for another baby for us. It made me feel a little better in a way that they knew a small part of the story as although dh would like another and is disappointed he's more of the opinion that there's only so much we can do and he doesn't want us to get all stressed and impact on our little girl which I agree with but it's just hard.

I expect we probably have met on other infertility board before as I've been hanging around here for a good few years now! Hope you're ok.

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 11:55:09

Hi pony so sorry to hear about your bfns. Really hope you get good news soon. It is such a hard process when it doesn't work as expected. Would be great if you stick around and let us know how things go x

kmmr Mon 19-Mar-18 12:41:22

Basically just a thin lining. They tried to convince me thr 5-6mm was ok 'within the range of normal'. Tried the pill, which made no difference. In the end they gave me a mini IVF protocol. So just 1 or 2 injections of (something..) which pushed the lining to about 8-9mm.
In the fresh cycle I had a much better lining, so I must respond well to the stim drugs.

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 12:42:36

Oh god lucie you are stronger than me with the antenatal crew. One of the mums I’m friends with said “well I’m worried about ttc no 2 because last time it took us FOUR MONTHS to conceive”. I had to just grit my teeth. It’s like a different world.

pony sorry you’ve had another bfn. It’s the absolute pits.

kmmr Mon 19-Mar-18 12:46:20

Pony, I know what you mean! I know it took us a long time, but for various reasons the cycle I had my son was the first time we'd actually put back an embryo. Previous ones had had to be frozen - so the first real attempt worked.
I kind of expected the others would too! And like snow, I also didn't take the time to be as ready. Eating normally, drinking, bad sleep, just a bit of random acupunture here and there. Maybe it made a difference, maybe not. I'll never know. But it's just not so easy with another kid, and the costs of the existing child! I wasn't quite so flush this time around.

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 12:58:31

Snow I've spent so long hiding things from people about infertility I just wanted to tell someone. I don't really want to go into the ins and outs of infertility treatment with them but I thought a lot of people have miscarriages so they just assumed we were trying naturally and it happened that way but meant that I could open up about my fears of not being able to have any more which did help a little.

So sorry about the lining kmmr it's so hard to cover all bases. There's so many variables that it can be impossible to think of everything but I guess your clinic should have been more upfront about the lining.

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 13:27:24

Oh I totally get it lucie. I just feel like I would be frustrated when the conversation inevitably ends with “well you are meant to be more fertile the month after a miscarriage so just try again!” or things like that. But I never really got over the bitterness of being infertile. Probably not healthy at all!

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 13:41:27

Yes it was a little like that I guess they were kind of like I'm sure when you go back to work and have a little more time to chill rather than running around after a baby all the time then it might happen. I've not got over the bitterness either to be honest. It sucks. When will you get your beta results from today?

twinkledag Mon 19-Mar-18 14:03:57

Thank you all, 10 eggs collected this morning. Now back at apartment resting.

twinkledag Mon 19-Mar-18 14:05:58

@Snowdayfet - same here re diet and exercise. So much harder with toddler around to be 'perfect'. Don't beat yourself up. thanks

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 15:46:37

Wow 10 eggs is brilliant twinkle! I did 7 egg collections rounds and my highest no was 8 eggs and I also got 7 once other than that it was all around 3. Although I think I finally found a protocol that worked better for me towards the end which is when I got the 7 then 8 eggs so I would definitely give that another try if these frosties didn't work. Are you having treatment abroad?

Snow, I am exactly the same with the eating, sleeping, drinking and I also had acupuncture last time before my successful round but I don't think any of those things make that much difference especially for a fet so don't beat yourself up about it. We can only do what we can.

twinkledag Mon 19-Mar-18 17:38:34

@lucieloos - first time I got 24 eggs! Second time I got 14. This is third time and I've got 10. Same thing happens every time, I get a good amount and only end up with 2. Think that's cause we have male factor issues?

I am with Serum in Greece and can't falter them. Who are you with?

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 17:46:56

The most blasts I've ever ended up with is 3 but that was a one off. Sometimes 2 but more likely 1. We have male factor too and I also have a fairly low amh so not surprising really. Do they offer picsi and macs for sperm sorting in serum? We had some better results with that.

I am with reprofit in Czech. Bit of a pain travelling out there especially now with a baby in tow but everything is so much cheaper and the clinic so much more efficient than the private one I go to for scans etc in the uk.

twinkledag Mon 19-Mar-18 19:51:58

They made DH give 3 samples and will use whatever technique they think is best based on the sample.

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 19:58:41

That sounds good!

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 20:12:09

My beta came back today at less than 1 so at least that’s a chemical confirmed. Stopping progesterone tonight. Will get an appointment debrief time shortly. I am guessing it will be same as you girls - will add steroids and aspirin and maybe intralipds (although I’d have to go elsewhere to get those I think). Plus am still thinking I might skip a treatment cycle and try to get a bit healthier before trying again in the cycle after next. Although we are away on hols at the end of May and I wouldn’t want the second cycle to run into that time.

twinkle 10 eggs is amazing. Well done! Hope you’re getting some rest.

twinkledag Mon 19-Mar-18 20:47:37

@Snowdayfet thanks

PotatoesPastaAndBread Mon 19-Mar-18 21:20:38

Hi ladies, I'm going to pull up a chair.

I'm 38 and have DD 6 months after 5 years TTC, 1 IVF ending in an epic miscarriage with retained products after erpc that went on for longer than I'd been pregnant. Second round of IVF successful. We've got three frosties.

I've always told myself I am so so so so so lucky to have a baby at all, plus I'm still finding having a baby really hard! (I'm knackered)

But

At the same time as I wonder how I'll get through the rest of this week with a baby, I wonder how I'll get through the rest of my life without another baby. I barely have time to think, yet I spend quite a lot of time worrying about not being able to have another baby.

Biology is a funny thing and hormones are a bitch. I feel guilty to even dream of another. But it's a feeling in my gut I can't shake off.

So that's my ramble! I'll probably lurk for a bit until we get serious about using those frosties. In the mean time, good luck to you all with cycles planned and ongoing flowers

lucieloos Mon 19-Mar-18 21:30:11

Snow, really sorry to hear that but I know like me you wanted it confirmed rather than to drag on. I will be interested to hear if you doc can offer any insight into what went wrong. Although I've been googling a lot about pgs embryos and they seem far from a sure thing. Really hope we have better luck next time.
*
Potatoes,* I'm sure we have been on a thread together before. I think we all have similar feelings about how lucky we are to have our beautiful babies but not being able to get past the feeling of wanting a sibling. It really is hard. I will probably have another attempt in the next month or so.

Snowdayfet Mon 19-Mar-18 22:25:43

potatoes oh god yeah I hear you re finding it hard. My son is almost 15 months and doesn’t regularly sleep through the night yet. I’m back at work. In the few days that I thought this fet had worked I must admit to a few omg what have we DONE?! thoughts. But I do want another - as much for my son to have company as for me. Sounds like your ttc no 1 was awful. Sometimes I feel like saying “aren’t we lucky to have our kids” but then I think no, fuck it, the amount of shit we’ve gone through to have them, we damn well deserve to have them!

lucie - thank you. Yes am like you in that I just want to move on. It hasn’t worked and I can’t control that - that’s the one thing I learned from infertility the first time round! I am also v nervous about how my remaining two will go - let’s see what the doctor says. I’ll update when I go and see him - I’ll get the appointment time tomorrow.

In the meantime I had a lovely glass of wine tonight despite thinking I should probs cut down if I’m cycling in the near future...sigh. Wine is the best!

PonyPals Mon 19-Mar-18 23:42:32

Sorry to hear @Snowdayfet that it was a chemical.
I hear you all! Even now I have noticed that I am 'controlling' the way I am reacting to this cycle being a possible BFN by constantly saying 'I know how lucky I am to already have one DC'

But I think we all realise that just because we already have one DC doesn't make the longing for another any less. In fact, maybe it is even harder as we want to give our DC a sibling.

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 07:49:00

Pony, do you have anymore frosties if this one doesn't work out?

Snow, hope your appointment is not too far away and they can give some constructive feedback.

PonyPals Tue 20-Mar-18 08:05:35

@lucieloos don't have any other Frosties so would have to start considering a full ICSI again.
What's next for you?

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 08:42:16

Aww keeping everything crossed pony. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 38 so feel like time is getting on for me. We have 3 frosties left but only one tested one so we will try that next but don't feel overly optimistic but all we can do is try.

PonyPals Tue 20-Mar-18 09:06:12

I'm 36. Turning 37 in July. I think I put so much pressure on this emby as it is '34 years old' so thought would have more chances.

That's the thing you just never know when it will work and all we can do is try.
I'm being a bit philosophical tonight (not from UK).

GenghisKahnSchmitz Tue 20-Mar-18 11:04:42

Hello everyone, may I join? I'm 37 and ttc no.2. My story is a little different as we had IUI and were extremely lucky in that it worked the first time. We were back with my gynaecologist this morning to start the process again, and he wants us to do IUI first (three attempts before moving to IVF).

Your comment about the fog is so real Lucie...I swore to myself that I wouldn't fall back down that trap where basically it's all I can think about, but I can feel it starting to rise, and I'm going to have to force myself to control it. Good luck everyone!

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 14:03:38

Yes pony I feel the same I did 3 rounds of embryo banking before having our little girl as I knew by the time we (hopefully) had her I would be older and chances of a fresh cycle working would be less. We saved up 4 frosties, 2 of which were genetically tested and I kind of felt that gave us a really good chance of a sibling but now I'm not so sure.

Hi ghengis, I'm sure we have been on boards together before also. It is very hard not to fall down the infertility trap again isn't it. I've been out with friends today and the babies and am feeling a lot happier and more philosophical about what will be will be but I know it probably won't last long before the fog and anxiety sets in again.

twinkledag Tue 20-Mar-18 14:49:49

It is all consuming, it takes up all your headspace.

7 out of 10 fertilised normally. Will next hear on Thursday.

I'm going home tomorrow so praying these are good enough to go to day 5 (Saturday) so I can fly back for transfer. No annual leave left to stay!!

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 15:12:35

That's really good going twinkle to get 7 out of 10. Keeping everything crossed for you. That's a long way to have to fly back to. Did you take your little one with you?

twinkledag Tue 20-Mar-18 15:27:03

Yes my OH and DS are here with me. I'll fly back to Athens on Friday night if embryos get to Day 5. They have done in the past so fingers crossed.

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 15:31:36

Will they fly back with you too or will you go on your own? Sorry for a million questions just wondering what I would do if need more fresh cycles. I have to get a flight from Stansted which is a 3.5 hour drive each way so a bit of a pain.

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 15:32:55

How will you know if they get to day 5 before you leave?

twinkledag Tue 20-Mar-18 15:40:38

I will go back for the transfer on my own.

That's the risk - I won't know if they'll get to day 5 before I leave, I need everyone to pray for me sad

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 15:43:29

Aww will definitely be praying for you. It's so nerve wracking waiting for the updates I used to hate it! Let us know how things go on Thursday x

Snowdayfet Tue 20-Mar-18 16:20:59

Great news on fertilisation twinkle. Will be cheering your embryos on.

pony hoping today has brought better news for you.

My debrief appointment isn’t til 4 April which is a bit frustrating but at least means I can just forget about it all for a couple of weeks over Easter.

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 16:39:35

Oh that's annoying snow but like you say at least you can have a few weeks off from it all. Do you think you will go again on your next cycle after debrief?

twinkledag Tue 20-Mar-18 16:49:40

Thanks both 😘

Snowdayfet Tue 20-Mar-18 20:23:49

Well assuming my period turns up this week that’ll be around cd16ish so in theory if we wanted to go again that cycle we could (I usually ov on cd21). I guess I can decide closer to the time and depending on what we discuss at the debrief. But right now am tempted to sit next (this) cycle out and try again in May. Feel like I’ve tried the “relaxed approach” to FET and it didn’t work so now I should take some time to prepare properly....

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 20:28:33

Are you doing natural fets then snow?

Jenbot78 Tue 20-Mar-18 20:33:30

Hello all, can I join? Going for FET from frozen embies (we have two but will put one back) from our cycle that gave us our lovely daughter who is now 10 months. DH and I have been trying again in the vain hope that something might be different this time. I feel like I have something to prove to myself about getting pregnant naturally, like if I somehow manage it on my own then there isn't something wrong with this body of mine! So hard still, and unexpectedly so raw from those infertile years. So desperate for another one but so scared to start on that bloody treadmill again... Lucieloos I feel like we were on the same board last year. Hope you are doing OK. Sorry for your loss.

lucieloos Tue 20-Mar-18 20:44:44

Hi jen yes we were definitely on the same board last time around. Feel like I recognise so many names on here. I guess we are getting to that stage where we are all looking to try again. I love this board as it makes me feel so much better talking to others going through the same thing. I think we are probably going to go back and try again straight away. I always find the waiting the hardest and I just want to get on with things and I'm not getting any younger so don't have any time to spare. I know I'm going to be completely devastated if it doesn't work second time around though. Just feel like how many times can I be on the wrong side of the stats but then I got a bfp on this fet even though it didn't work so what's the chances of getting 2 bfps in a row?! Probably not great.

We haven't really tried naturally much at all. We tried so much in the time leading up to ivf that I just don't want that pressure again but might be worth a go if this next one fails.

twinkledag Tue 20-Mar-18 21:05:32

We tried naturally for over a year this time sad

Snowdayfet Tue 20-Mar-18 22:58:25

Yes we are doing natural fets this time. Last time I did a medicated as I had really hit or miss ovulation - I had so many anovulatory cycles which is why we did ivf (mild male factor too thus we didn’t try iui). After stopping breastfeeding my periods seem to have come back v regularly so we did natural - but will be asking doc given my history whether it might be better to do a medicated.

We haven’t bothered trying naturally really at all. I have no faith in my body at this point so don’t really see the point. Roll on the miracle bfp -as if I’d be that lucky-!

GenghisKahnSchmitz Wed 21-Mar-18 02:43:51

Well done on the seven fertilising Twinkle, and fingers crossed for them making it to day 5.

Sorry you have to wait until 4th April Snow but hopefully with Easter, it'll go by quickly.

Yes, Lucie we have definitely met on the boards, and you also kindly helped decipher all my confusing results! I was so pleased when you finally got your BFP. Sorry for your recent loss x. I also find the waiting so hard, I just want to get on with it. Will you start again next cycle?

Hi Jen, it's a horrible treadmill isn't it? We have given it a half arsed attempt but I think I have accepted it won't work anyway. When are you starting your treatment?

Argh, I'm irrationally annoyed (though it feels rational to me). This time around we just need to have updated std testing and DH needs to have a new SA before starting the process. I went to make his SA appointment, and there's no free appointments until the start of May! Then to make matters worse, DH doesn't even know if he'll be in the country for it, and we're away in June for the month, so I'm not sure when we'll actually be starting again. In my head I know it's only a few more months (hopefully) but it feels like all I ever do in this game is wait.

PonyPals Wed 21-Mar-18 05:29:40

Hi everyone,
I did my beta and sadly it was a negative.
Just need sometime to get over this shock.
Good luck to you all thanks

PotatoesPastaAndBread Wed 21-Mar-18 06:46:24

pony I'm sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself. So hard to deal with the disappointment.

Twinkle seven is great, congrats. Massive fingers crossed for them making it to day 5 - you must be on tenterhooks!

Snow sucks to have to wait, enjoy some Easter calories to help pass the time wink

Hi Lucie yes I think we did - possibly the of infertility board. I think now is be starting a "desperation of infertility" board. Although we're all going through heartache over this, it is great that many of us are here and not still on a yet-to-conceive-first-child board. Here's hoping for success second time around as well.

Genghis how you talk about the months ahead really brings back to me measuring everything in months (cycles) - "it won't be this month because I'm doing X and next month is Y, then the following month..." It messes with your head! I feel for you.

I think I'm crazy to be thinking all this already. Haven't mentioned to dh yet!

lucieloos Wed 21-Mar-18 07:31:05

That's interesting snow we also did a natural fet this time with the chemical as my cycles have been back regular for a long time but next time I'm doing medicated as don't want to leave anything to chance with my hormone levels.

Ghenghis, yes that's right I remember now. I've started on the meds this cycle so we will be going for the transfer again after Easter. When I got my bfp with my daughter I did a fresh cycle back to back so figured there's no harm in doing the fet back to back so just going to get right back into it. I am worried though as I know I'm going to take it really hard if this one doesn't work but then I've been there before I guess.

That's crazy about your dhs sa that's so long to wait for a really simple appointment. Could you maybe ask them to let you know if any cancellations come up? The waiting is so hard because it's always there in the back of our heads and I find myself subconsciously wishing time away which I really don't want to do anymore with my little girl. We have so many nice things planned this year I just want to enjoy them without all this rubbish in the back of my head all the time.

Pony, so sorry to hear about your beta. Take some time to yourself and then get planning your next round. I always found that helped.

Potatoes, yes it's great so many of us have made it this far. Really hoping we can all graduate off this board successfully too.

Snowdayfet Wed 21-Mar-18 11:40:47

pony sorry to hear about your negative beta. Take care of yourself lovely - it really sucks.

lucie interesting that you did natural this time too. I must say that I don’t really understand how a medicated fet works when you’re ov-ing naturally - it’s one of my questions. I did have my hormone levels checked the day before ov and the doctor said they were all fine so will be interesting to find out. And my period has started today (albeit in a weird way - lots of cramping but a little bit of brown blood only) so let’s see what happens there - might be a clue!

genghis, potatoes - yes to the infertility fog. Constantly second guessing what you’ll be doing weeks and months into the future - ugh. genghis that’s ridiculous about your SA - could you get it done privately to expedite it?

Am really glad this thread is here - I don’t feel like I necessarily belong on threads with ivf/infertility newbies anymore but it’s so good to have a group going through the same things.

twinkledag Wed 21-Mar-18 11:50:56

I'm really sorry pony thanks

lucieloos Wed 21-Mar-18 12:03:36

Snow, the estrogen which you start on day 2 stops your follicles from growing meaning you don't ovulate naturally. The estrogen tablets are what causes your lining to thicken and then when it's thick enough you begin the progesterone which is what happens when you ovulate naturally...progesterone rises. This is the standard protocol my clinic uses and the doctor said he would rather I do it this way next time. Glad af has arrived and you can move on. Mine was a lot lighter than I was expecting with a chemical.

Jenbot78 Wed 21-Mar-18 16:17:40

So glad also that this thread is here, good to find others that are going through this. One other thing that annoys me about all this for number 2 is that I feel I need to rush into this if I want any more children. We spent so long ttc no 1 that time is now short (40 this year) so feel have to get on with it! Gengis feel fed up with ttc naturally already. Have period today (AGAIN) and just so longing for the day when my whole life isnt dictated by my menstrual cycle. Feel like I don't know what I'll do with my time without this to take over everything!!

lucieloos Wed 21-Mar-18 18:05:53

I'm the same Jen I'm 39 this summer so feel like time is not on my side. Really don't want to have to start fresh cycles again.

So I've got lining scan next Wednesday and if that is ok intralipids on Thursday. Wasn't going to tell anyone at all this time but think I need you girls on my side. I go back to work in a couple of weeks and was really hoping to be pregnant by the time I went back confused

Jenbot78 Wed 21-Mar-18 19:28:03

Oh good luck! Did you have intralipids last time? I had steroids on successful IVF as I have Hashimotos.

Jenbot78 Wed 21-Mar-18 19:29:58

Our appointment is in a couple of weeks to talk about starting FET process. Annoyingly, my clinic seems to do down regulation as part of process, not sure even why...Anyone else?

lucieloos Wed 21-Mar-18 19:36:44

No i don't do down reg just the estrogen which is supposed to stop ovulation. I didn't do intralipids on my first fet but I have used it before but not on my successful round with my daughter either. I'm not convinced that I need it or that it does anything but if I don't do it and it's a bfn or another chemical then I guess I will only wonder and kick myself for not trying it.

I did aspirin, steroids, clexane and progesterone on first fet. What dose of steroids were you on Jen?

Snowdayfet Wed 21-Mar-18 19:49:14

Ah thanks lucie. So you just switch off ov. That makes sense. So if I wanted to do a medicated fet I’ll have to wait a cycle anyway as won’t see th doctor until too late to start oestrogen. Gosh you’re brave going back to work pregnant! I think I would have been fired on the spot if I’d done that! -absolute twat of a boss where I work-

lucieloos Wed 21-Mar-18 20:10:55

Haha yes I would have liked to but not going to happen now. They can't fire you for being pregnant. I know what you mean though I wouldn't have been looking forward to telling them but then every other woman there has probably had at least 2 lots of maternity leave so I would have just been having mine closer together but I'm older and don't have time to spread it out unfortunately.

Yes the estrogen switches off your natural cycle so that your clinic can control it all. My doctor told me no difference in success rates between natural and medicated but I think both he and I feel a little more comfortable with medicated as you don't have to time ovulation and know that estrogen levels are right before and after transfer. For my successful bfp I was on estrogen throughout my cycle even though it was a fresh so makes sense to give it a try.

In relation to your cycle yes you would have to wait until the next one anyway as you need to begin the estrogen on day 2.

Snowdayfet Thu 22-Mar-18 07:27:34

Hmmm. Let’s see.

Yes I know they can’t technically fire you for being pregnant but I work in such a spectacularly unfriendly place they might just try. But I felt I had to go back to work early as a result too!

My period is also quite light, which I wasn’t expecting. Seems anticlimactic somehow.

ella232 Thu 22-Mar-18 08:00:17

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GenghisKahnSchmitz Thu 22-Mar-18 10:02:43

So sorry about your result Pony. Take care of yourself.

Good luck for next Wednesday Lucie. Sorry you've had to move your goalposts re. being pregnant going back to work.

Sorry about AF Snow - I hope you're ok with it.

Thanks for the commiserations - unfortunately there's only one laboratory here (not in the UK) that does the SA (and only two days a week!), so not much I can do but wait. Pfft. I'm really really trying not to wish time away but wouldn't it be great if just for once things went to plan for us all. Ah, the joys of infertility!

lucieloos Thu 22-Mar-18 11:46:05

Ghengis, sorry that's the only option and you have to wait. I find that the hardest thing and yes it would amazing if just for once things went to plan for us all!

Snow, that doesn't sound a very nice place to work! Definitely an anticlimax with the period. Much lighter and shorter than I expected!

twinkledag Thu 22-Mar-18 15:42:26

Hi all, update from me.

All 7 embryos are still growing, 2 are perfect and the rest a bit slower.

However still cautious as today is day 3 and isn't that when the sperm takes over? And in our case we have male factor.

Funnily enough, I always end up with 2 from however many get collected.

Flying back tomorrow night to have the transfer on Saturday at lunchtime. The flights practically doubled in price overnight sad

lucieloos Thu 22-Mar-18 16:20:16

That's brilliant news twinkle keeping everything crossed you will have some great embryos to transfer on Saturday. I feel your pain about the flights. I'm debating whether to book mine now before the lining scan and hope everything is ok or wait by which time they will have shot up in price! Not easy is it.

twinkledag Thu 22-Mar-18 19:05:31

It's so expensive @lucieloos sad

Going business class on the way out, can't even drink the free booze 😩

lucieloos Thu 22-Mar-18 19:20:12

Oh no that's a shame twinkle but hopefully it will al be worthwhile and you will be our first bfp on this board smile

GenghisKahnSchmitz Fri 23-Mar-18 02:24:56

Great news about the embryos Twinkle! Fingers crossed for you. That's awful about the flights (and the lack of free booze!!)

AnupamaD Fri 23-Mar-18 11:12:00

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lucieloos Sat 24-Mar-18 11:16:27

Wishing you lots of luck today twinkle. Let us know how you get on.

twinkledag Sat 24-Mar-18 13:41:38

Thanks lucie. 3 made it to 5-day blasts and 2 are at morula stage. Had 3 transferred!

Snowdayfet Sat 24-Mar-18 14:23:11

3 blasts transferred??! Woah! That’s full on. Why so many?

Keeping FX for a successful tww twinkle!

twinkledag Sat 24-Mar-18 15:06:23

Due to my age (39). And to increase the chances. That was their advice. Bit scared!

Snowdayfet Sat 24-Mar-18 19:39:53

Wow. You are brave!! Fingers crossed one of them takes x

lucieloos Sat 24-Mar-18 19:51:34

Wow that's brilliant twinkle! You should have a really good chance with 3 day 5 blasts!! Hope the morulas make it to freezing too. When is test day? Are you an early tester?

TooManyHappyMeals Sat 24-Mar-18 20:17:33

Good luck to everyone. I am currently pregnant with DC2 from FET. I had a freeze all ICSI which got 4 blasts in 2015, the first FET became my first DC (now 2) and second transfer last August resulted in this pregnancy. So we have had two transfers and two successes. I can't believe how incredibly lucky we've been, and reading this thread just hammers it home!

I have to admit second time round has been so much better. The FET (compared to the freeze all cycle) seemed so much less onerous and knowing that we had 3 in the freezer, so 3 possible chances definitely took some of the pressure off. The downside is the feeling of time marching by, even privately funding the FET we had to wait many months.

We still have two good quality blasts. I'm not sure what we'll do with them once DC2 is born. It's something we've been thinking carefully about but not reached any conclusions... Just one of the many difficult things you have to deal with when having fertility treatment that 'normal' people don't have to think about.

Anyway I'm wishing everyone on this thread lots of luck and really hoping there are more amazing FET miracle babies soon. flowers

twinkledag Sat 24-Mar-18 21:10:53

Test on 4 April.

So stressful flying back and forth to Athens, I just wanted to do whatever increases my chances. I've had 5 transfers now, and 1 DS.

twinkledag Sat 24-Mar-18 21:11:26

Welcome @TooManyHappyMeals smile

lucieloos Sat 24-Mar-18 21:19:37

Hi toomany really good to hear of your success stories. Hopefully we will all get a little of your luck and there will be lots of bfps on the way for this board.

Twinkle, I know the feeling. We are going for single transfer as cumulatively the success rates are higher doing one at a time with more cycles but I think if we end up doing more fresh cycles and we had 2 blasts I would consider putting them both back just because it is hard work flying back and for all the time. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just me but got our little girl to think about now too.

twinkledag Sat 24-Mar-18 22:09:46

My feeling is that also they wouldn't have recommended 3 back if they didn't believe it would be ok.

GenghisKahnSchmitz Mon 26-Mar-18 04:02:55

Great news Twinkle, I'm glad it all went well! Now to wish away the time until 4th..

I'm glad it all went so well for you Toomany, and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

GenghisKahnSchmitz Mon 26-Mar-18 04:05:49

Oh, and how are the morulas Twinkle?

twinkledag Mon 26-Mar-18 08:25:02

Hey was just coming here to update. 2 morulas turned into blastocysts, 1 an expanding grade AA and the other an AB. Totally, totally shocked! Never had such good results before ever!

lucieloos Mon 26-Mar-18 09:05:43

That's amazing twinkle did you do anything different this time?

twinkledag Mon 26-Mar-18 10:16:57

@lucieloos - I took CoQ10 and generally ate a lower carb diet. Been eating eggs for breakfast for the past year!

I also took pregnacare conception and an iron supplement (as I know my iron levels are low anyway).

But for balance - I also didn't think this was going to work so I didn't give up alcohol (not a big drinker anyway but still) and I smoked the odd cigarette here and there. I know that is totally wrong when TTC but I have really felt like this isn't going to work and I was only doing this cycle to say to myself I had done it and to try to move on with my life. To think we now have 5 potential chances has completely shocked me.

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