Not coping with the mental health side of infertility

[SoapyChoc]

Hi

Just wanted somewhere to have a bit of a rant/get my feelings out.

Story is 2.5 years ttc. Have PCOS. Told to lose a certain amount of weight to start Clomid which I did. Was then asked to lose some more before I start which I am in the process of. Just feeling utterly fed up at the moment and the last few days feel on the edge of crying a lot.
I feel like I can't cope and yesterday driving to work felt like I couldn't manage to go in. I did because there is noone else to do certain aspects of my job but I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of falling apart. I've had depression in the past and feel like I'm heading that way again.
I'm not sure what the answer is. I have a week off in a couple of weeks and I'm hoping a bit of a rest will at least give me a bit of a boost mood wise.

Does anyone have any tips for getting through dark days please?

[ErrantBakedBean]

Hi there. I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm 2yrs ttc with endometriosis and have been through some really dark days. I do tend to find that that mood will lift after a week or so (possibly hormone related for me) and I start to feel more positive so I hope that will happen for you too. Also it sounds like you have a plan and the Clomid to try soon - great that you have something to work on.

[ErrantBakedBean]

Also have you talked to your doctor about the mental as well as physical health needs you have? Back when I was really suffering from depression they were actually very helpful.

[Hopingnwishing]

NICE guidelines state that anyone struggling with infertility should be offered counselling.... maybe mention this to your gp?

[SoapyChoc]

Thank you both for your replies. I was coping reasonably well previously so haven't mentioned this to my gp. Errant you could be right about being hormonal making me feel worse. My period finished a couple of days ago so I'll see if I feel a bit more positive in a few days.
I worry about going to the gp as not sure how to fit in counselling if it would need to be in the daytime and don't want them to feel I'm wasting their time if I then can't proceed with it. I guess I just need to be brave and make an appointment.

Thanks again for replying it feels a bit better just to get it off my chest. You cant always say what you need to in real life with family/friends.

[Hopingnwishing]

I was really struggling in my old job working on a maternity ward. DH didn't understand just told me to stop panicking and it'd all be fine in the end. Fast forward to last weekend when my friend brought her 6 month old round.... afterwards he turns round and says how hard it was to see her and how he now understood how I felt.

[SoapyChoc]

Gosh that must have been so hard Hoping I'm lucky in that my current job doesn't involve children and no colleagues have young children or are likely to have any children.
I do think men often dont 'get it' with how we feel about it. My DH is the same but then when we spend time with frinds with young children will often comment sadly afterwards about wanting it to be our turn etc.

[Blueroses99]

I’m sorry that you’re struggling but infertility and low mood/depression often go hand in hand so you’re definitely not alone. I had counselling in the evening, it’s not just during working hours, so please don’t let this put you off enquiring.

My way of coping through dark days was to become very selfish - only talking to people that would lift me, taking time to indulge myself - self-preservation. Try to remember things that you used to enjoy that maybe you don’t feel like doing at the moment. It’s tough I know but feel free to rant on here too - one thing I didn’t have through most of my infertility journey was any online support or anyone who ‘got’ it.

[SoapyChoc]

Thanks Blueroses I will definitely enquire.
Your suggestions abut indulging myself sound a good idea.

[Hopingnwishing]

All my female colleagues are part time as they have kids