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Is it worth DP having his sperm checked?

(20 Posts)
QueenRefusenik Wed 14-Feb-18 09:30:34

Hi all, we've been TTC a DC2 for 14 months now. It's somewhat complicated by the fact that I had an ovary removed in August due to a fibroma but as far as I can tell from OPKs, temping and last month's blood tests I'm still ovulating regularly and we're DTDing on the right days etc. We're both early 40s too which can't be helping. We've ruled out IVF as not right for us even if we could afford it. GP suggests the next step is for DP to get his sperm tested which I guess is fairly obvious but what I stupidly didn't ask is whether they'd be able to do anything about it if it turned out there was anything wrong there? Dr Google has also failed to educate me on this point but maybe I'm not googling the right keywords...

Obviously at the moment we don't know whose 'fault' it is and I actually quite like that! I worry a little that if we ended up proving the issue was with DP's sperm that he would feel guilty (unnecessarily, obviously!) and that I (however unfairly) might end up resenting him a little... So what have people's experiences been, is it worth putting DP through it when realistically we already have ds1 and are not planning on going for IVF or any other kind of more intensive trying, and wouldn't be TOO devastated if we ended up with just one DC?

TheCatsPaws Wed 14-Feb-18 09:46:53

Male infertility is usually treated by IVF as far as I know.

TheCatsPaws Wed 14-Feb-18 09:48:03

It’s an easy test though, just a bit undignified for the poor chaps lol. If I were you I think I’d feel better knowing, even if you don’t want to go for IVF, because at least you can manage expectations

QueenRefusenik Wed 14-Feb-18 09:50:49

Hi Thecatspaws thanks for responding. You're probably right, he should just suck it up. Not like I haven't had a few undignified procedures along the way! I guess at least we'd know if it was time to just stop trying.

Woolfrai Wed 14-Feb-18 09:52:44

We have male infertility. It's definitely worth having sperm checked. For me, I'd rather know what is happening.

My husband has what is called azoospermia meaning he has no sperm in his ejaculate. He does however have sperm in his testes. We're currently waiting for an operation to see if we can remove the obstruction. As much as that isn't guaranteed to work, it's possible a different (and maybe less successful) route than IVF.

In other cases, some men have been prescribed things like Tamoxifen to improve counts where they have been previously low.

Woolfrai Wed 14-Feb-18 09:56:08

In terms of fault, we avoid using that word at all costs. For us, we discuss where we want to be, and how we will get there, regardless of what is stopping us. We're open to friends and family abut our infertility, apart from our diagnosis, we tell them 'what does it matter?'. Being completely honest, the psychological impact it has had on my husband is massive. There's been lots of press in the past year about male infertility and its impact on mental heath - for me, it was worth reading a few articles.

Woolfrai Wed 14-Feb-18 09:57:07

Oh, and hand on heart, I've never resented my husband for it. Instead, I've loved him so much more for seeing the tenacity he has had throughout the whole process.

carbuckety Wed 14-Feb-18 10:01:27

Checking spermicide is the simplest of all the infertility tests and I thought the first thing they did when an 'issue' as other tests in women are more invasive etc.

carbuckety Wed 14-Feb-18 10:06:27

Autocorrect is my enemy. Obviously I meant sperm not spermicide

QueenRefusenik Wed 14-Feb-18 14:58:16

Thanks all, some interesting insights here. Sounds like we'll push ahead and see if there are any issues on DP's side of things, then go from there. I agree the idea of 'fault' isn't helpful, but I did wonder how far it might end up creeping insidiously in and obviously I'd like to avoid that if at all possible!

HelloMist Wed 14-Feb-18 17:33:54

Diet and supplements might help improve on sperm problems (motility/quality) which you can look into depending on results. It wouldn't necessarily lead straight to IVF.

Woolfrai good luck with your husband's op. Mine has azoo too. That would normally lead to IVF with ICSI I think wouldn't it if they are able to retrieve some?

Woolfrai Wed 14-Feb-18 18:11:43

HelloMist - thank you for the luck. We have precious had retrieval, and a round of IVF with ICSI. Sadly for us, it failed. My husband was keen to further understand the cause of his azoospermia and its possible wider impacts. We sought advice from a private specialist who diagnosed bilateral azoospermia; one side obstructive and the other side non-obstructive. Our specialists thought is that he may be able to repair the obstruction. If successful, my husband's counts would still be low, but there is a small chance of pregnancy. It would also mean small numbers of fresh sperm for any future possible rounds of IVF with ICSI. smile

Woolfrai Wed 14-Feb-18 18:17:06

HelloMist mind OP - I should also add, I hope all goes well for you.

Pennywhistle Wed 14-Feb-18 18:21:53

just a bit undignified for the poor chaps

hmmconfused At least it’s private and pain free which is more than be said for most of the tests women have to go through.

“Poor chaps” my arse.

TheCatsPaws Wed 14-Feb-18 22:03:44

At least it’s private and pain free which is more than be said for most of the tests women have to go through.

Private is debatable, the dr told my DP to go to the disabled toilet and do it lol.

Pennywhistle Wed 14-Feb-18 22:34:44

Well he wasn’t in a room full of people with his legs spread...

TheCatsPaws Wed 14-Feb-18 22:46:54

True. I think with having had these sort of tests since my teens (horrible pain that led to lots of swabs and speculum exams) I’m just used to that.

Men on the other hand rarely have it, so when they do they’re a bit taken aback.

QueenRefusenik Wed 14-Feb-18 23:04:01

All useful stuff - I will persuade DP to man up and we'll see... Best of luck Woolfrai!

AmbK Sat 17-Feb-18 18:40:44

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sparks46th Wed 07-Mar-18 10:17:36

Well he wasn’t in a room full of people with his legs spread...

Actually not true at all - my DH had six people looking at his balls yesterday

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