Hi all, we've been TTC a DC2 for 14 months now. It's somewhat complicated by the fact that I had an ovary removed in August due to a fibroma but as far as I can tell from OPKs, temping and last month's blood tests I'm still ovulating regularly and we're DTDing on the right days etc. We're both early 40s too which can't be helping. We've ruled out IVF as not right for us even if we could afford it. GP suggests the next step is for DP to get his sperm tested which I guess is fairly obvious but what I stupidly didn't ask is whether they'd be able to do anything about it if it turned out there was anything wrong there? Dr Google has also failed to educate me on this point but maybe I'm not googling the right keywords...
Obviously at the moment we don't know whose 'fault' it is and I actually quite like that! I worry a little that if we ended up proving the issue was with DP's sperm that he would feel guilty (unnecessarily, obviously!) and that I (however unfairly) might end up resenting him a little... So what have people's experiences been, is it worth putting DP through it when realistically we already have ds1 and are not planning on going for IVF or any other kind of more intensive trying, and wouldn't be TOO devastated if we ended up with just one DC?
It’s an easy test though, just a bit undignified for the poor chaps lol. If I were you I think I’d feel better knowing, even if you don’t want to go for IVF, because at least you can manage expectations
Hi Thecatspaws thanks for responding. You're probably right, he should just suck it up. Not like I haven't had a few undignified procedures along the way! I guess at least we'd know if it was time to just stop trying.
We have male infertility. It's definitely worth having sperm checked. For me, I'd rather know what is happening.
My husband has what is called azoospermia meaning he has no sperm in his ejaculate. He does however have sperm in his testes. We're currently waiting for an operation to see if we can remove the obstruction. As much as that isn't guaranteed to work, it's possible a different (and maybe less successful) route than IVF.
In other cases, some men have been prescribed things like Tamoxifen to improve counts where they have been previously low.
In terms of fault, we avoid using that word at all costs. For us, we discuss where we want to be, and how we will get there, regardless of what is stopping us. We're open to friends and family abut our infertility, apart from our diagnosis, we tell them 'what does it matter?'. Being completely honest, the psychological impact it has had on my husband is massive. There's been lots of press in the past year about male infertility and its impact on mental heath - for me, it was worth reading a few articles.
Thanks all, some interesting insights here. Sounds like we'll push ahead and see if there are any issues on DP's side of things, then go from there. I agree the idea of 'fault' isn't helpful, but I did wonder how far it might end up creeping insidiously in and obviously I'd like to avoid that if at all possible!
HelloMist - thank you for the luck. We have precious had retrieval, and a round of IVF with ICSI. Sadly for us, it failed. My husband was keen to further understand the cause of his azoospermia and its possible wider impacts. We sought advice from a private specialist who diagnosed bilateral azoospermia; one side obstructive and the other side non-obstructive. Our specialists thought is that he may be able to repair the obstruction. If successful, my husband's counts would still be low, but there is a small chance of pregnancy. It would also mean small numbers of fresh sperm for any future possible rounds of IVF with ICSI.