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Losing my marbles

(5 Posts)
Clacton Mon 12-Feb-18 13:05:06

Writing this from the toilets where I'm currently hiding out to avoid everyone seeing my tear stained face....
I can't deal with how pathetic I am! My OH has just phoned for his results and has come to let me know about them. I should be over the moon that his all seems normal and that our struggle should now be less, but I'm crushed by the responsibility of this not happening being solely on my shoulders.
Any advice for how to deal with this? I'm really struggling and feel like I need a holiday to the moon to get away from everyone that is "normal" - at least there would be no surprise birth announcements there 🙄

bluemoonchances Tue 13-Feb-18 00:18:31

How you're feeling is totally natural. Talk it though with your partner. For the first 5 years of me and hubby TTC I thought it was all issues on my side as his tests came back fine (I have 1 Fallopian tube and endometriosis) . I told him to find someone else who can give him children! But we talked and he convinced me that he loves me even more than his desire for children. I'm sure your partner will say the same. You'd feel like that right if he was the one with the issue?
Have you been diagnosed with a problem or is it currently unexplained infertility?
Chin up and big hugs xxthanks

Clacton Tue 13-Feb-18 12:20:24

Thanks @bluemoonchances
Yes I've said that to him before if that was what his ultimate dream was and he was appalled at me.
I was unbelievably emotional yesterday and he finally managed to convince me to calm down last night by saying it's our journey together and if I'm broken then it's us not me. I do feel a lot better today.
I've been diagnosed as PCOS and alongside that I'm not ovulating. I know there is a lot that can be done so I'm remaining hopeful.
It's such a rollercoaster isn't it! How long have you been trying for?

bluemoonchances Tue 13-Feb-18 14:56:33

I'm in my 8th year TTC. You're right it is a rollercoaster. We discovered in year 5 TTC that husband is carrier of a chromosome defect which he can pass on, so that coupled with my issues makes it very difficult.
I know how you feel though because that's how I felt for those 5 years. I was sort of glad when discovered hubby had a problem too because I felt less of a burden... even though his issue makes it really really tough fo us to have a baby! It's weird emotions.
It can tear apart a relationship if you let it, and you have to make a real effort some times not to let that happen. We do lots of things to make sure we spend quality time together just enjoying each other's company. That sounds cheesy but when you face the real fact that it might just be the two of us forever, you need to know that your relationship is happy enough for that.

Well that got a bit deep didn't it?!!
I really hope it works out well for you. Just try and step back and see all possibilities xx

Clacton Thu 15-Feb-18 09:16:53

@bluemoonchances fantastic advice. I am definitely going to make sure I put us above it all. Thank you and good luck xx

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