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Into year 8 and STILL NO BABY!!!

(43 Posts)
bluemoonchances Wed 07-Feb-18 22:54:45

Not after advice. Not after sympathy. Just want to rant. Found out today that 2 more of my friends are pregnant, including one "accident/ wasn't even trying" (FUCK OFF!!!)
Started TTC in 2010. It's now 2018. 6 miscarriages.
When typing the obligatory "congrats! So happy for you!" Text messages earlier to pregnant friends, actually wanted to scream "FUCK OFF!!! " down the phone at them.

Yes I'm being a cow. Yes I'm being mardy. I'm beyond caring. Please do not comment if you're going to tell me my time will come.

Feel free to comment if you fancy a rant too!

Sleepingbunnies Wed 07-Feb-18 22:56:00

flowers and a hug.

JeNeBaguetteRien Thu 08-Feb-18 12:39:59

No you're not being a cow. Maybe you're being mardy but if so you've earned the right to be.
It is so so shit, I've no words to make this better, (and no platitudes to make you want to scream "fuck off" even louder!).
I'm glad people can't see my thought bubbles 💭 like a cartoon when I hear pregnancy announcements, or worse, pregnancy moaning.
Have a hug from me. 💐

HesterShaw Thu 08-Feb-18 12:43:08

It's crap isn't it? I'm really sorry you've been dealt this shitty hand 😥

firsttimekat Thu 08-Feb-18 12:48:14

It is shit and each new announcement feels like a stab. Along with all the 'it will be you next' type comments. GO AWAY you have no idea what I'm going through so shut up.

Feels good to rant!

HesterShaw Thu 08-Feb-18 12:49:55

I'm 43 soon so the "you'll be next" comments have gradually faded away, which is almost as sad.

PonyPals Thu 08-Feb-18 12:54:51

I can absolutely relate to what you mean.
When we have been trying for 7 years with various issues and disappointments, I had a young team member tell me she was having a miscarriage (first months of trying and turns out she wasn't pregnant in a first place). But just the things she was telling me and the support I was providing as a manager was so hard and heart breaking. All I wanted to scream was... you have no idea what I have been through!

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 08-Feb-18 13:51:26

I do understand where you are coming from

Ttc for 10yrs and 4 failed private ivf which we are still paying off

Everyone Round me just fell pregnant - some by accident or had a ‘mercy’ shag with their man and preg with no 2

One or two had ivf but nhs abs worked first time so no failure for them now thousands of pounds in debt

Obv I didn’t went anyone to fail ivf just as ours had but it is hard when works for people 1st or 2nd time

Yes some planned but many just got preg. If only it was that easy

It did finally happen with me after 10yrs and our 5th ivf and I got my first ever bfp and dd is now 10mths

I’m so sorry about the mc’s 💐💐

So many. Have you had tests? Sounds like there is a problem and maybe something like iv intralipids May help as soon as uou are preg

sirlee66 Thu 08-Feb-18 14:14:51

Always the most undeserving, fucking scummy ass dick heads who 'accidentally' get pregnant then complain for 9 sodding months. Fuck off!!!!!!

Feel you, OP.

Snowydaysarehere Thu 08-Feb-18 14:16:32

My previous boss adopted 2 dc. Hit her 40's and the menopause apparently.
Went to hospital one day and came back with a dd!!
Fingers crossed for you op.

QueenOfAccidentalDeathStares Thu 08-Feb-18 14:18:19


feel free to rant away !

EarlGreyT Thu 08-Feb-18 14:24:20

Oh it’s shit isn’t it? I too have done the sending of congratulations messages while inside screaming “bloody hell” and “it’s not fair”. I don’t think you are being a cow.

It’s awful having to watch others pregnancies and babies while not being able to have them yourself. I watched friends start and complete their entire family of 2.4 children during the time we were trying-that really gave me the rage. It didn’t quite give me the rage as much as the platitudes or unhelpful (although well intentioned) advice from friends which also made me feel even less understood and more alone.

AniSL Thu 08-Feb-18 21:04:36

I would really like to tell some people to just eff off too. Been TTC for 5 years and not even one pregnancy - nada. Then I see some patients who are expecting child number 5, other 4 in care and don’t want this one either. I thank the powers that be that they can’t see my thought bubbles either

Itsbecauseimaleo Thu 08-Feb-18 22:01:18

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

NorthernLurker Thu 08-Feb-18 22:20:09

Bloody hell itsbecause that's one of the nastiest posts I've ever seen on mumsnet and I've been posting for eleven years so seen some nasty stuff. I will be reporting it and sincerely hope it's deleted and you get your arse kicked hard by hq before the poster you refer to or indeed anybody else sees it.

Itsbecauseimaleo Thu 08-Feb-18 22:43:45

It wasn't meant to be nasty but other people have complained about this poster on other threads

NorthernLurker Thu 08-Feb-18 22:46:05

Heaven help us if you ever mean to be nasty! Do you want to have a think about how that poster will feel reading your thoughts on the matter?

Itsbecauseimaleo Thu 08-Feb-18 22:49:04

Maybe she'll think twice before posting the story in infertility again. Not everyone wants to hear it. My original post was not meant to be nasty at all

Bitchfromhell Thu 08-Feb-18 22:50:09

NorthernLurker can I ask if you are infertile or childless not by choice?
There are very few places infertile women can rant and wail. Being regaled with other people's success stories is difficult to hear when your body is failing you.

sportyfool Thu 08-Feb-18 22:51:51

Our freind has just had a baby this week at 45. She has apparently been trying for many years and had many losses. I'm not sure if this is helpful but just thought I'd let you know it's possible . You are allowed to be cross ..!

Gigimoll Thu 08-Feb-18 22:53:17

It's okay. I got so mad at my old best friend for getting pregnant when we were trying. So upset and so frustrated.
Nothing anyone can say either like "stop stressing" is comforting.

Do you have any fertility problems? Such as pcos or anything out of interest? I got so pissed off with ttc I found loads of methods that I believe worked in our favour as I was told I couldn't have children by my doctor. I was devestated but I know another girl who had premature ovarian failure who did the same methods as me (together) and she conceived. If you want to talk please message me. It was no drugs nothing x

Gigimoll Thu 08-Feb-18 22:55:48

Does it matter if she's posted it more than once? If it's pissing you off, don't go into it. She has every right to be frustrated and upset and to rant about it. Op please don't listen.

NorthernLurker Thu 08-Feb-18 22:58:58

Ah ok, just point me in the direction of the announcement that you speak for other posters would you? hmm

Generally if you have to type 'don't take this the wrong way' it's a clue that you're typing something better not said at all.

Blondeshavemorefun Thu 08-Feb-18 23:05:12

When a question is asked and I’ve had experience of that then yes I ‘repeat’ my story

And I get many messages off people saying that my posts have given them hope

Yes every failure broke our hearts and tested our relationship but we kept going because I wanted to be a mum so much

Some woman give up. I didn’t.

Not once have I been told by mnhq that people have complained about me - not have I seen a reply like yours saying stop posting

So my 10yrs of infertility mean fuck all now then yes I am lucky enough to be a mummy

I still remember every month of sobbing when af came and esp after a cycle of ivf

Some people on these boards want to hear success stories - some

Op - I’m very sorry for your losses as I said previously and still suggest some blood /clotting tests if you havnt

Bitchfromhell Thu 08-Feb-18 23:09:37

Some woman give up. I didn’t.

hmm"some women" have to, or didn't ever stand a chance in the first place.

I'd forgotten how much this infertility board got on my nerves. Won't be coming back.

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