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Just wish I got more support from DH

(5 Posts)
tiredpom Wed 31-Jan-18 08:56:41

Been trying to convince, 2 years. No luck, no medical reason why we can conceive naturally. Next step for us is private ivf. DH is hesitant. I had dreadful period pain last night, to the point of not being able to sleep and pain was localised towards my back and bum. Period is 2 days late, but pain has been getting worse (with every period) and I was feeling shit - so took myself off to my GP this afternoon. As soon as I saw the GP, all my raw emotions came tumbling out and I burst into tears. First she checked I wasn't pregnant, it was negative and talked me through how I was feeling etc. I get really bad pms and struggle with being disappointed every month. So she has referred me for some therapy and put me on an anti - depressant. Relayed this to DH when he picked me up and he was very transactional about, well ok if you think it will help etc. no hug, no kiss, no you'll be ok - words of reassurance. All I want is him to say, love what will cheers you up .... instead he has taken a sledgehammer to a set of drawers in the garage that he wanted to get rid of. All I want is a glass of wine, take out and a cuddle on the sofa ..... but instead I'm tidying out my walk in ! I know it's hard for him too, but I wish he would show his emotions more and just show me a bit of love ....

AttilaTheMeerkat Wed 31-Jan-18 11:12:47

I feel for you both; think your DH is actually taking out his emotions on that set of drawers in the garage. It may be an idea for you to contact the charity called Fertility Network as they could offer you both further advice and support. This is their website

Have you been placed in the "unexplained" category?. What tests and such have you both had done to date (any test results over 6 months should be discounted) and why have they suggested IVF now?.

On a wider level you mention dreadful period pain; does that happen a lot?. You say its been getting worse with every period. I ask only as endometriosis is a common culprit when it comes to ongoing and or severe period pain; has this ever been mooted as a possible cause?.

Mathie2017 Sun 04-Feb-18 17:04:26

Hope you don't mind me joining in. Just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. We've been ttc for 4 years. It's been a horrible rollercoaster of emotions and as I write this I'm pretty sure my marriage is hanging by a thin thread. We're unexplained, both of us had all the tests and there was no obvious reason we couldn't conceive. We were referred for icsi however after using the stimulating hormones I appeared to develop a polyp so the embryos were frozen for transfer after I had it removed. Had the polyp removed and prepared for FET. On my scan it showed the polyp had regrow. That day I felt full of despair. I couldn't stop sobbing. DH went into the kitchen and sobbed too. That was the last time he showed any emotion or any interest for that matter. Our journey continued and failed and continued again and has now been abandoned due to things 'not being quite right' waiting now for another hysteroscapy appointment. The most I get from DH is "you have to be a tiger" meanwhile he is getting on with things and seeming to make everyone and everything else a priority except for our relationship. I'd have to put a gun to his head to get him to go on a date with me but for him to go out with his friends is no problem. I feel totally empty. Sorry for the long winded response. But I guess my advice would be to spend as much time together as you can doing things that don't involve talking or thinking about your cycle or how hard life is. Take pleasure in being together for the fun stuff too, if you don't you'll probably grow further and further apart. Wishing you all the luck in the world x x

tiredpom Tue 06-Feb-18 07:38:16

@Mathie2017 thank you for your response and I'm sorry to hear your journey is hard too. Thanks for your advice, I guess I'm just trying to keep my head up and take each day' as it comes ....

CrystalBroomfield Wed 07-Feb-18 10:11:02

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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