Advanced search

Need help with what to say

(5 Posts)
katieferg81 Tue 31-Oct-17 13:19:53

We've been TTC for 5.5 years and are due to have IVF likely in the new year which obviously may or may not be successful. Our infertility is something I am incredibly private about and nobody knows about the IVF and very few people know we've been TTC let alone for such a long period of time . We get married in a few weeks and I'm sure we'll face the question / insinuations from various parties about starting a family and the pitter patter of tiny feet. Years ago I just used to brush this off with having years yet but at nearly 37 this excuse no longer cuts the mustard so what can I say instead? What a really want to say is mind your own bloody business but I'm not sure that's the best way to endear myself to some of my new in-laws. I have considered the mumsnet staple of "did you mean to be so rude and ask such a personal question" followed by tinkley laugh whatever a tinkley laugh is, but I'm not sure I can bring myself to crush great aunt so and so in this way when she thinks she's asked a perfectly reasonable question.
In the past I've also made out I don't like children but I don't like doing this now as I stupidly feel a bit like I'm jinxing myself.
How does everyone else deal with the well meaning but utterly clueless?

Scottishgirl85 Tue 31-Oct-17 13:27:11

If I need to be polite, I say 'fingers crossed but it's not always as easy for some as it is for others'. If I'm not in a polite mood I tell them the truth (taken years, ivf, very difficult time etc) and they never ever ask again. Wishing you all the best for your treatment x

FilledSoda Tue 31-Oct-17 13:38:01

I've been in exactly the scenario you describe with my SIL expressing excitement at being a aunt at some stage during my hen dinner. I attempted to brush it off with a ' lets hope so' type of comment , she picked up on it straight away ffs, wanted to know what on earth I meant by that.
People often have an idea.
No advice really sorry , just close it down as best you can.

JoJoSM2 Tue 31-Oct-17 13:39:07

I react similarly to Scottish Girl by saying that we’d love to but it’s not easy for everyone. To date, everyone has shut up at that.

However, a few family members and friends know more and have been supportive.

katieferg81 Tue 31-Oct-17 14:05:59

Thanks ladies I knew I could rely on you. Infertility sucks and it's nice to know you're not alone although it goes without saying I wish none of us were in this position flowers

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: