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2 year anniversary

(18 Posts)
Fiestylittleowl Mon 25-Sep-17 13:19:45

Today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. It also signifies 2 years of not being on the pill. Not had even a sniff of a pregnancy, doctors can't find anything wrong with me or DH and everyone around me is falling pregnant at the drop of a hat.

There isn't really a point to this thread except somewhere for me to offload how rubbish I feel right now.

Autumnleaves7 Mon 25-Sep-17 13:25:05

hello - sounds rubbish - so you have unexplained infertility? What treatment options are the Drs suggesting? 2 years is the length of time I was off the pill before I got PG with DC1 after treatment.

2good Mon 25-Sep-17 13:27:12

I'm so sorry flowers I hope it happens for you some day.

I'm in no means saying this works as I know how patronising this sounds, but I've finally got a bfp after more than a year of trying and the only things I can pinpoint it to possibly are
1. Using conceive plus
2. Starting reflexology for fertility once a week
3. Making a conscious decision to enjoy sex this month (I was really getting fed up of it)
4. As soon as I got ecwm started TTC (rather than waiting for when my app said I was ovulating)
5. Started taking prenacare vitamins for actual pregnancy (prior to that I was taking conception ones)

I'm not sure if any of the above is the reason or if it's just pure coincidence, and I know how annoying it is to be offered advice and solutions.
Thinking of you anyway and hope it happens for you soon

Fiestylittleowl Mon 25-Sep-17 17:06:24

Thanks for your messages.
We have an appointment in a few weeks to discuss the next step. I just feel so down in the dumps and the worst thing is having to make a joke every time someone asks me if I want children. I have a pregnant colleague who keeps going on about how tough it is and all I want to do is tell her how lucky she is but instead I just walk away.

Nuttynoo Mon 25-Sep-17 17:08:17

My 2 year anniversary is coming up too.

geeup Mon 25-Sep-17 19:15:47

I was 2 years in July and can agree with how awful it is. It just sounds so very long when you say it/write it down. I try and remind myself that hopefully it will happen and it's just a waiting game (albeit we are getting help - currently waiting for third ivf cycle). Whenever you're ready, just get yourself in the system, get the tests done, if you are willing to consider assisted conception jump through those hoops and by hook or by crook you'll be a mum one day. And you might always get a surprise with every cycle you DTD. That's how I approach it anyway. Good luck to you. This is a great community for support. You're not alone - there's loads of us!

Fiestylittleowl Tue 26-Sep-17 08:14:09

Thanks again for the kind words.
I think it is harder as they don't know why I'm not conceiving. I've had bloods, swabs, scans, hsg, semen analysis and it has all come back normal. I'm terrified of not being able to have children.

Autumnleaves7 Tue 26-Sep-17 10:46:50

fiesty i had the same story - DH's sample came back with 'perfect' written on it. That made me feel great. I had all the same things.

My advice, FWIW, is to get on with the treatment, they don't need to have a diagnosis to proceed to clomid etc.

I remember the feeling that I'd never ever get that positive test - i wish, with hindsight, I'd got on with the treatment. The good news is they've found no reason why infertility treatments won't be successful for you.

Autumnleaves7 Tue 26-Sep-17 10:49:04

another thing that helped me was thinking through the decision tree: by the time I started Clomid, I knew I was ok with having twins, and if none of the treatment worked, that we'd proceed with going through the hoops to adopt. So there was no way that we'd not have children in our lives, it was just going through the sequenced steps to get the destination. I remember wanting to beat up the people who told me to 'relax' and then it will 'just happen'!

ForeverHopeful21 Tue 26-Sep-17 13:01:15

Exactly like you, my wedding anniversary also signified how long we'd been TTC. It became such an upsetting day for me. I found that anniversaries also brought out peoples curiosity at how we'd gone 'another year' without the mention of a baby. I used to always get asked "so do you not want kids then?" and I'd lie and say not yet, even though it was killing me inside.

I am currently pregnant after 3 years and 3 months of trying. I've not got my baby just yet so trying not to get ahead of myself, but I wanted to let you know that as a long time TTC'er, it can happen.
Mumsnet is great for allowing you the space to discuss these difficult things with others who understand. My darkest days could be lifted by a single comment on here. Wishing you the very best of luck x

cherryontopp Tue 26-Sep-17 14:26:53

So sorry OP. It's utterly shit.

I too have unexplained infertility and the months just passed, clinging onto that bit of hope.

I did however get a head start, it was 8 month I went to GP --and totally lied and said it had been a year--and they done the basic tests, sperm, ovulation etc. When there was nothing wrong, they referred us to the fertility clinic.

Whilst waiting in the NHS referral process (approx 4/5month from GP to hospital) I had tests done privately. I had my tube test done and had a few months of Clomid.

Once i had my appointment with the Gynecology at the hospital, she didn't need to re-do the tube test or waste time on Clomid. By this time is was nearly 2 years, She referred me straight away for IVF.

Once they do that, things go like a flash. Had my first IVF in May and now 20 weeks pregnant.

Get the ball rolling, get private tests done whilst waiting for NHS. Don't put off having treatment in hope you might fall naturally. You may fall pregnant while waiting for IVF. Give yourself the best chance.

Hope it goes all weel for you flowers

Fiestylittleowl Thu 28-Sep-17 08:12:41

Met up with a couple of friends for lunch yesterday. All married with children. First thing I get asked "Are you pregnant?". I wish people would stop asking that!! I just fobbed them off but instead I felt broken

geeup Thu 28-Sep-17 09:38:51

I've started telling people to be honest @Fiestylittleowl. If they're rude inquisitive enough to ask if I'm pregnant or when I want kids I say "actually we've been trying for quite a long time and it hasn't happened. I don't really like to talk about it as it's private but it's not for the want of trying". Tends to quieten them down and hopefully educate them a bit.

Autumnleaves7 Thu 28-Sep-17 20:30:14

The only downside of telling people is they then feel warranted to make endless silly comments on why they think you're having trouble, what they think about adoption etc etc. but I told people after we'd been trying for a year.

Fiestylittleowl Fri 29-Sep-17 17:31:30

I will tell close friends and family once I have had my next fertility appointment so I can say that is going to happen next. My god I am dreading telling my mum.

FrowningOwl Wed 04-Oct-17 17:53:09

Thought I'd join in as it's nearly my two year wedding anniversary and also a reminder of how long we've been trying. I'm only at the start of my journey and I saw my GP today who has referred me for blood tests. Annoyingly the doctor thinks they will come back fine as I'm fit and healthy, don't drink or smoke. DH has an appointment on Friday to get checked. Once my results come back we will be referred to the fertility clinic.

I have plenty of friends who came off the pill once they were married and they managed to conceive within three months and all their babies have been born now! I am also getting fed up of the "do you want babies?" comments too angry

Fiestylittleowl Thu 05-Oct-17 08:39:30

My best friend had her little girl last week. She is the only person I have told about our troubles to have a baby. I am trying to be a good friend and making sure I message her lots to make sure she is ok etc but she keeps saying how much hard work it is but they love the baby so much and shes the best thing that has ever happened to them. Thanks I'm sure it is the best thing you have eve done and you should feel lucky that you managed to conceive her within 3 months of trying!! Argh this is all turning me into a bitter jealous person and I hate it.

Autumnleaves7 Thu 05-Oct-17 09:44:34

i wouldn't try and be too close to it - the newborn phase is hard, she may be in pain from the birth, terrified and exhausted, it's not her fault or yours that you've got different conception paths. It's not normal to feel grateful all the time and most people only value luck in its absence.

It's normal to feel resentful of people that pop them out - my BF conceived in the first month of trying - she still had a miserable birth experience and a very hard baby.

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