Frozen Embryo dilemma - torturing myself over what to do

[Emmyleigh]

I'm incredibly lucky to have a preschool child who was born through egg donation.

Our circumstances are not picture perfect, lots of good stuff, some more difficult. Until recently I couldn't see a way to try one last cycle with the last good quality frozen embryo despite having really strong feelings about it being a potential person and possibly the only genetic relative on the donor side my child could know.

I've just got a completely unexpected refund (similar to PPI) which is enough to pay for treatment.

Unfortunately circumstances beyond our control means I can't live with my child's other parent so I've got the practical and financial responsibility of a single parent. I'm on a low income but we manage.

On the negative side I'm as old as the oldest age you consider to be reasonable to be pregnant and my recent pregnancy was fairly tough.

On the plus side I'm a good Mum and quite resourceful.

Can you relate to any of this?

How would you go about making a decision?

[RebornSlippy]

Think about you and only you for a minute. Do you want another child?

[Emmyleigh]

That's a good question Reborn I can't seem to separate it from my love and responsibility for the little person dozing beside me.

If I knew I'd survive pregnancy and cope financially definitely yes.

[Pawsbutton]

The only good reason for having a baby is that you want a baby.

Best of luck

[RebornSlippy]

That, Emmy is the main and most important question in all of this. Of course, as you know well, there are no guarantees it would even work. However, if this is something you really want, if you can afford it and assuming it is safe to carry a pregnancy I feel you have your answer.

Good luck!

[Emmyleigh]

Thank you for replying. I don't feel at all confident it would work but I wish I could give this little being a chance.

I want to get some proper medical advice about how risky it would be. I don't feel an IVF clinic would be the best place...

[Emmyleigh]

Thank you for replying. I don't feel at all confident it would work but I wish I could give this little being a chance.

I want to get some proper medical advice about how risky it would be. I don't feel an IVF clinic would be the best place...

[RebornSlippy]

I agree. Are you able to access a pre-conceptual care clinic? I don't even know if they exist! But if you were able to book an appointment with a specialist midwife or obstetrician it would be a very good starting point. See exactly what you're dealing with before making any decisions. The benefit of frozen embryos is that you have time decide. Not years, granted, none of us are getting younger! However, you don't have to rush into anything.

[Cutesbabasmummy]

I think it depends what your issues were in your previous pregnancy. I had a rough one too with my de baby. We had one excellent embryo left but we've had to let it go. We realistically cant afford another child and we can do things with our son like swimming lessons, tumbletots and Centreparc that we couldn't afford with 2 children. I also don't think my body could take another pregnancy at 42. We had to let our embryo go a year after our treatment as our clinic (in Spain) would have charged £600 per year for storage.